Drinking as a sleep aid

[Lilypansy]

For context, I'm late sixties and have had chronic insomnia since the menopause. The only thing that relaxes me enough for sleep is red wine.
I would love to stop. I drink half a bottle a night, every night, and it's making me fat and sluggish. This is apart from the fact that it's probably affecting my health.
I have read the Alan Carr book and The Naked Mind book. They are just words, and don't help at all.
If I try to sleep without wine, it can take up to three hours to fall asleep and then I wake up every hour.
I never drink during the day.
Has anyone else had this problem and solved it?

Have you spoken to your GP about it? There may be something they can do about regulating your hormones.

If not, maybe CBD oil?

I haven't been to the GP about it, mostly because I'm ashamed and don't want to be labelled an alcoholic. I'm only asking on here because it's anonymous.

I read a really interesting book, Why we sleep by Matthew Walker. He explains how alcohol affects sleep. You don't sleep properly or go through the sleep cycles, it's a sedative. It sedates you. The same goes for sleeping pills. You might think that by drinking alcohol, you're 'asleep' for a longer period so it's better but technically it isn't.

Zopiclone is pretty good. GPs don't use the word alcoholic any more. I was drinking two bottle a night and eating benzos like sweets and no one put a label on me at any point in my recovery. I know it feels embarrassing but they will see people wog similar issues on a daily basis.

Try reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter. It will show you how alcohol is not helping at all.

I think you need to bite the bullet and just stop drinking cold turkey as hard as it is (I used to be a heavy smoker who used nicotine to deal with my anxiety so I know how difficult it is to stop an addictive habit). I did several attempts to quit and quitting cold turkey and never ever even touching another cigarette again is the only long term solution has helped me to stay smoke free for a long time now.

As for the trouble with sleeping that has caused this habit, I don’t think you should be ashamed of yourself as it’s very understandable how you got in this situation and GP’s are only humans after all, I think every adult who ever has had sleeping trouble can easily understand how this situation was created. If you can’t bring yourself to seek help from GP it might be worth it to look into over the counter homeopathic remedies that can help you.
Good luck.

Are you on HRT, OP? I found taking the progesterone in the evening helped my sleep massively (Utrogestan).

Thank you for your replies. No, I'm not on HRT. I will probably see the GP about it as I am so fed up with the drinking.

Have you tried herbal sleep aids such as Valerian?
Plus a cup of ginger or camomile tea.

Smoking cannabis? I've used it since meno, and it's an excellent sleep aid. Also supposed to help with hot flushes. I haven't felt the need for HRT (yet).

@Lilypansy

Thank you for your replies. No, I'm not on HRT. I will probably see the GP about it as I am so fed up with the drinking.

I’m not sure how easy it will be to start HRT in your 60s. Worth looking at Menopause Matters website and forum or posting on the meno board on here.

Hi Lilypansy, whilst I haven't gotten anywhere near to solving my drink problem, I did spend most of 2019 and much of 2020 suffering from horrendous insomnia after my long-term relationship broke down. I still get bouts of it but can now knock myself out in minutes using meditation. It took me months to learn the skill, but it is the most worthwhile thing. I use guided sleep meditations - these days, the Buddhify app - and usually don't make it to the end of the exercise.

Also, do speak to your GP. They are ready to offer you the tools and advice you need and they will tell you, truthfully, that asking for help is the hardest part ticked off the list.

Thank you all. I have completed an online consultation form with the GP, so will see what happens.

I did this. The only thing that has worked for me was going cold turkey. I haven't had wine for over 3 months now and after a while you are just so tried, you sleep. Then your body gets used to sleeping without wine.

Good luck OP. Personally, I read your post and had absolutely no judgement on you whatsoever. I hope it turns out ok.

I used Nytol when I quit alcohol - then weaned off it slowly. Worked a treat!

Come over to the Freedom thread when you're ready, we're all lovely

Good luck OP, I've been on the dry Jan, sober Oct threads a lot and lots of people say that it takes a while to get through the insomnia that comes from not drinking before they then get into really good natural deep sleep. Please don't start smoking weed as pp said, what a stupid suggestion!!!

I wasca chronic insomniac from my teens, not helped by health issues and anxiety. I can honestly say the sleep I get now after almost 8 months alcohol free is the best sleep of my life. If you can cracked not drinking in the evening and get some proper help with insomnia you'd probably find the same. I used to say the same as you, that drink knocked me out. And in a way it did, but it wasn't proper sleep and I certainly never woke up feeling refreshed.

I can also recommend nytol (boots do their own brand slightly cheaper which works exactly the same). Its only for short term use though. Alcohol is really bad for quality sleep and you may feel as groggy as if you hadn't slept much at all. I made that mistake.

Gregorian chant gets me sleepy as does the white noise from a fan. Lavender on pillow, and a drink called Twinnings sleep seems to help - I don't know how it works but it does. Reading until heavy eyes. I write a story in my head. Also count backwards from 100 in 3's. Any anxiety or worries needs addressing with gp/counsellor/good listener.

Anything but booze!

Please get proper sleep meds. My mum
Has end stage liver disease and can’t sleep at all at night! So it’s only A short term gain, it will make your sleep so much worse in the end. Good luck