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Alcohol support

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Original poster

DMum in hospital - need advice

15 replies

Loueytb3 · 25/05/2021 13:49

DM is an alcoholic. She doesn’t admit she has a problem and has been refusing all offers of help. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis last summer but has not cut down drinking at all as far as I can tell. During lockdown, things have got much worse. Her mobility deteriorated and she was unable to walk without a frame, she struggles to open things, she’s not washing or looking after herself at all and is just sleeping and drinking. She has an alcohol liaison nurse and I’ve been speaking to her GP but she is not taking any notice of either of them really.

Anyway, things came to a head last week and she was unable to move at all and eventually had a fall and my step-dad called an ambulance. She was furious with him. She is now in hospital undergoing tests (although we already know that her liver is enlarged) and they are going to have to de-tox her. Does anyone know how long this might take and what they might do? I’m having difficulty getting through to the ward to find out what is going on. I don't live near her and in any event, they are only allowing 1 visitor per day (which is my step-dad).

At the moment, despite being in hospital, she is still denying that she has a problem…

OP posts:
TerryChou · 25/05/2021 15:25

This reply has been deleted

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LividBlabber · 25/05/2021 15:38

No advice but bumping for you.

Also a DM in denial here x

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 25/05/2021 15:49

Medical detox usually involves administering a benzodiazepine, such as chlordiazepoxide, to reduce the more dangerous effects of withdrawal (especially seizures). She'll also be given IV solutions of thiamine (vitamin B1, which most alcoholics are severely deficient in, which can lead to brain damage), and fluids to rehydrate her.

How long this takes varies, depending on how much she was drinking and for how long - most alcoholics I know who were medically detoxed were in hospital for 2-7 days.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP.

Original poster
Loueytb3 · 25/05/2021 22:20

@LividBlabber

No advice but bumping for you.

Also a DM in denial here x

Flowers It's really awful, just don't know what to do.
OP posts:
Original poster
Loueytb3 · 25/05/2021 22:23

I managed to get through to the ward. She apparently had a fall yesterday but as she can't walk, it's not clear how (unless she fell out of bed?). They think a week to de-tox but there doesn't seem to be any improvement yet. Not sure how long it will take to see an improvement. Perhaps she will never walk again. She isn't eating but said that she couldn't get the food to her mouth so I'm not sure how much is physical. Still don't really know what's going on but I've been told to try and speak to the Dr tomorrow morning when they are doing their rounds.

One thing I'm not sure of is whether it is sensible to suggest alcohol free drinks once she is sober or if it is a very bad idea because it might just make her want to crave the real stuff. Does anyone know?

OP posts:
MorriseysGladioli · 25/05/2021 22:29

I think her being sober is a long way off, to be frank, if it ever happens.

People can relapse after detox.
She needs to want to give up, and it seems she hasn't even accepted her alcohol issues yet.
It must be very hard to watch.

Original poster
Loueytb3 · 25/05/2021 22:57

Yes I know. She has no inclination at all to stop.

Although if she can't walk, then she can't physically go and get alcohol and my step-dad has said he will now throw all the booze away so there is none in the house. He wasn't willing to before but I think he's reached that stage now.

OP posts:
Kazplus2 · 25/05/2021 23:05

2-3 weeks I'd say. Advice is no alcohol free drinks (as they often have minute amounts of alcohol). Does she eat well along with her alcohol as that may impact length of stay? ( In terms of they will check her bloods for anything she is low in).

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 25/05/2021 23:08

@Loueytb3

I managed to get through to the ward. She apparently had a fall yesterday but as she can't walk, it's not clear how (unless she fell out of bed?). They think a week to de-tox but there doesn't seem to be any improvement yet. Not sure how long it will take to see an improvement. Perhaps she will never walk again. She isn't eating but said that she couldn't get the food to her mouth so I'm not sure how much is physical. Still don't really know what's going on but I've been told to try and speak to the Dr tomorrow morning when they are doing their rounds.

One thing I'm not sure of is whether it is sensible to suggest alcohol free drinks once she is sober or if it is a very bad idea because it might just make her want to crave the real stuff. Does anyone know?

Suggesting alcohol-free drinks is a bad, bad move - it's very easy to slip back into real drinking that way.

If she's unable to walk, it could be alcoholic neuropathy, or possibly Korsakoff syndrome (a form of brain damage).

Not eating will slow her recovery immensely. Ask the doctors if they're able to supply her with Ensure shakes, if she's struggling with solid food.

Original poster
Loueytb3 · 11/06/2021 00:05

Things deteriorated and she developed hepatic encephalopathy. We were really worried last week as she wasn't responding to treatment but she seems to have picked up in the last day or so. Still very confused but she managed to stand up today which is progress.

She wasn't eating for a while and they nearly put a feeding tube down but she did in the end start just in time. Dr thinks she may need to be in a care home for the rest of her life. Nurses think it's too early to say.

OP posts:
PurpleSunrise · 11/06/2021 00:10

I’m so sorry how things progressed. I hope the next few days and week is better for her. Make sure you’re looking after yourself too Flowers

Sssloou · 11/06/2021 00:23

I am sorry it has been so difficult for you all.

What support can you access for yourself? Have you looked at Al Anon for families - as I am sure you have endured a lot already and you have a tough path ahead.

Maybe being in a care home will work for her. My MIL is a similar situation was very well cared for and her overall health improved dramatically within a few months which meant the last years of her life were comfortable and it was a huge relief for my DH to know she was safe 24/7.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 14/06/2021 05:01

I'm so sorry, hepatic encephalopathy is horrible to witness.

Thinking of you, and echoing a PP, please take care of yourself too.

TwoBlondes · 30/06/2021 22:12

Hi @Loueytb3, wondering how you're getting on as I'm also going through this with a family member

IamMoana · 30/06/2021 23:36

Hope you are doing okay. My mum is an alcoholic- once she became housebound she used a local taxi company who came in, took her money, went to the shop to buy the Alcohol then dropped it to her sofa. All during a global pandemic. She would also buy online from supermarkets & Amazon. Alcoholics are surprisingly resourceful. We were powerless to stop her.

She also ended up in hospital various times, they would detox her, patch her up & drop her home. She would just pick up again. She also did a 12 week stint in a private facility & drank within a week of being home.

It's utterly heartbreaking, honestly, you feel so useless and powerless. It's such a selfish and destructive disease. I really hope you both get the help and support you need & there's a positive outcome for you,

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