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Alcohol support

Getting the drinking under control!

36 replies

hashbrownsandwich · 29/03/2021 12:05

Today is the day. I drink too much and it's not acceptable.

I tend to drink most days - maybe 2 alcohol free nights a week. During the week it's probably 2 large glasses in a session, at the weekends it's easily a bottle of red between DH and I, plus a glass or two of prosecco.

I only drink wine, any other alcohol doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.

My motivation is not only financial (easily £300 a month on alcohol) but also mainly health. I work in the medical sector with patients and I've seen how bad things can get even for 'moderate' drinkers.

I fully accept that I can't be entirely alcohol free. That's not what I want. I want to achieve balance. To me this is only being able to drink on a Friday and Saturday and to not drink anywhere near as much as we normally do!

Is anyone else similar?

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bilbodog · 29/03/2021 12:15

Yes - same here. We are trying to go 3-4 days alcohol free and manage some weeks but fail some! A lot of it is boredom here now - last week had wine 5 nights 😬

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JemimaPyjamas · 29/03/2021 12:16

Yes! Except I think I've been drinking a bit more. I think I can blame lockdown boredom in part but it's a silly excuse really.
I need to knock it on the head, both for health and waistline! I don't want to stop either but need to get out the habit of just drinking for the sake of it too.

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AR77 · 29/03/2021 12:17

Hi Hashbrownsandwich,

You definitely are not alone! I'm not sure if you're interested but I've got a blog about just this if you'd be interested in reading?

www.alcoholreconsidered.com/post/5-tips-to-reduce-your-drinking

I've really, really struggled over the years.

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hashbrownsandwich · 29/03/2021 12:57

Good to hear I'm not alone @bilbodog @JemimaPyjamas and @AR77.

@AR77 I will certainly check out the link thank you.

In the medical world we would say drinking 3 days in a row then nothing for 4 nights is technically binge drinking BlushShock but honestly I'm taking the view that it's small, manageable steps and I'm not aiming to be a saint.

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AR77 · 29/03/2021 13:19

Progress is progress! That's great and it takes time. I drank too much this weekend out of sheer, utter boredom but I'm reasoning that 3 bottles in the recycling is better than the 14 that it used to be every week.

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hashbrownsandwich · 29/03/2021 13:57

@AR77

Progress is progress! That's great and it takes time. I drank too much this weekend out of sheer, utter boredom but I'm reasoning that 3 bottles in the recycling is better than the 14 that it used to be every week.


Exactly that! Cutting down is harder than an outright quit.

Well done on your achievement!
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AR77 · 29/03/2021 14:07

Here's a sober evening! Cheers!

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JemimaPyjamas · 29/03/2021 18:26

It is this time of the evening that I get the dreaded wine itch, I have not succumbed but....

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AR77 · 29/03/2021 21:37

It’s really hard JP. The ‘witching hour’ is the worst. Hope you’re doing ok.x

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Northernsoullover · 29/03/2021 21:43

I never wanted nor thought I wanted to be alcohol free but to my surprise I have found it easier than trying to control it.
You might find the book Allen Carrs easy way to control alcohol. Its really helpful. I actually stopped after reading it but I didn't mean to Grin

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Bigbus · 30/03/2021 06:59

I’ve been lurking around for a while reading these posts. I’d really like to cut down. I managed 3 days on a row AF last week and the week before AF on a Saturday which led to a much better Sunday! Part of the problem is that I can drink a bottle of wine without really noticing and then not feel too bad the next day. Any more than that and I feel terrible though. I’m trying to be kind to myself and tell myself each day is a new day. I might try allocating myself a certain amount of alcohol a week and when it’s gone it’s gone! See if that works.

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hashbrownsandwich · 30/03/2021 10:04

@Bigbus

I’ve been lurking around for a while reading these posts. I’d really like to cut down. I managed 3 days on a row AF last week and the week before AF on a Saturday which led to a much better Sunday! Part of the problem is that I can drink a bottle of wine without really noticing and then not feel too bad the next day. Any more than that and I feel terrible though. I’m trying to be kind to myself and tell myself each day is a new day. I might try allocating myself a certain amount of alcohol a week and when it’s gone it’s gone! See if that works.


I think we are kindred spirits (no pun intended) @Bigbus because I'm exactly the same. I can polish off a bottle from the time I've started making dinner for the kids and then through until we've eaten later.

I didn't have anything other than Diet Coke last night. I found I actually felt really full so didn't want to eat as much either.

I had a proper deep sleep although very sweaty as I am by the radiator and left it on 23 degrees Confused
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CocoLady · 30/03/2021 10:24

Can I join please ? I feel mine is gettin way too much! I've currently got a UTI and I still drink wine most nights! It doesn't help that boredom and it winds me down end of the day. I drink 2-3 glasses a night in the week and on the weekend a lot more ! It's making me fat, exhausted miserable but I'm struggling to not give in to the wine witch ! Where to start ? Xx

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hashbrownsandwich · 30/03/2021 16:55

Welcome to the gang @CocoLady!
I'm no expert obviously but I think it's breaking the habit that's the hard bit. Last night was easy but today the sun is shining, I've had a rate day off and omg I would love a nice cold glass of rose. Must power through...

It think small manageable steps is the key. So for example, instead of drinking every night, my first goal is to be able to knock the weeknight drinking on the head Monday-Thursday, Friday and Saturday try to be more sensible and then Sunday not be tempted to go and buy any more wine because we've drunk it all over the weekend.

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Bigbus · 30/03/2021 18:17

Despite saying I don’t really feel bad if I drink a bottle of wine I’ve felt pretty ropey today. I’m hot and tired and cooking dinner and I know I would feel a lot better if I hadn’t had a drink yesterday. Avoiding the temptation to have a gin! Drinking water and looking forward to bed!

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Thewinterofdiscontent · 30/03/2021 20:41

I’m in the giving up for Lent group.
I don’t want to never drink - I absolutely love the taste of wine. But like everyone, find consumption creeps up on you.

What I’ve discovered is that it’s really hard to work out when I can have a drink again after completely stopping.
I am totally desperate for a glass of cold fizz but I’ve not finished my Lent until the weekend . But then I’m sure I’ll not stop at one. Will I be able to see the point of stopping at one glass or two glasses when I’m officially allowed to drink again this weekend ?
If I polish off a bottle over on evening, will I have undone all my hard work And then if I’m drinking again ...when’s the next time, another 6 weeks?

I’m sort of seeing the point to not drinking anymore because it’s so very hard to draw a line. Much easier to tell yourself you’ll have a drink “ one day” just not today, or this week.

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FrankieDettol · 30/03/2021 21:39

@Northernsoullover I'm with you. I read The Sober Diaries and just quit. I hadn't planned on it and am now 167 days AF. Moderation wouldn't work for me. I'm all or nothing.

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Badmuthachuffa · 30/03/2021 21:52

11 days AF for me. Was drinking to manage stress and totted up my units and was a bit Shock. Definitely heading for dependant drinker territory according to the quizzes I took. Stopped doing anything else to manage stress and definitely not drinking socially. Preferred to drink on my own and was getting a bit sneaky about the amount. I feel hugely better for not drinking any alcohol at all. Did 70 days in first lockdown but struggled recently with drinking more again so decided to knock it on the head. Was feeling hugely anxious when I had a drink so was having the opposite effect of what I intended! Had terrible cravings the first few days but now I’m feeling fairly chipper. I honestly think no alcohol works best for me. My adult DD said she had noticed but didn’t want to say anything as she knew I was stressed. Interestingly I’ve had much more social interaction with my family since stopping so I was obviously turning into a mopey isolated drinker. Any good quit lit recommendations would be welcome!

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Northernsoullover · 30/03/2021 22:59

[quote FrankieDettol]@Northernsoullover I'm with you. I read The Sober Diaries and just quit. I hadn't planned on it and am now 167 days AF. Moderation wouldn't work for me. I'm all or nothing.[/quote]
Congratulations on 167 days! Thats amazing

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Northernsoullover · 30/03/2021 23:07

I think when realise you are drinking more than you like its natural to want to try and keep it in your life.
The permutations are endless. No wine except on weekends, then weekends start on a Thursday and end on a Sunday. Or the special occasions like Christmas and birthdays, suddenly you start celebrating the dogs birthday.
I think its something we all have to try before maybe one day deciding enough is enough.
I loved booze but it stopped loving me. Fatigue, anxiety and insomnia, oh and upset stomachs.
I never thought I could live without it and 2 years on I wouldn't have it back. Good luck

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Jopatrick29 · 31/03/2021 00:00

Hey!!!

Omg to read this made me cry! I need help! I’m sick of drinking I hate it but it’s now such a habit I panic if I haven’t got a bottle in! I have a bottle of Prosecco a night sometimes 2 along with a few beers! I hate myself, my family hate it o just wished I knew where to start!!

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hashbrownsandwich · 05/04/2021 15:27

Sorry for the radio silence, been manic for the last little while.

@Jopatrick29 I have no clue either but we've decided (DH and I) we are going sober for 3 weeks from tomorrow. We've decided we are crap at moderating, husband can handle his drink really well but ends up therefore drinking lots and then snores like a drain, which then makes me moody.
Anyone else want to try a 3 week challenge with me? We are aiming to be sober until the next bank holiday weekend (1st May). At that point we are hoping we may be able to make better choices.

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Lovingspring · 05/04/2021 15:41

I will try!

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CocoLady · 05/04/2021 19:30

Hello everyone, I'm this week for the first time will be dry mon-thurs which I'm not lying is hard but it was creeping up. So I bought a AF cider which actually tastes like it ! Put it in a wine glass, and it's lovely yes but Day one for me today and I gotta be honest I know I can moderate and I'm looking forward to the weekend when I can but I'm
Totally this miserable this evening I'm in a mood with dh and I feel totally shit about myself Sad

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RuddyHellItsSoftCell · 05/04/2021 19:35

I’d love to join you. It’s my day 1 too. I’ve been looking at Annie Grace’s alcohol experiment where you stop for 30 days to see how different life looks at the end of it. I’ve definitely been getting out of control so really hoping I can do this.

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