DP drinking and sertraline

[bassetlaw]

Hi,
My DP is currently on sertraline-he's had an awful time of it in the last 18 months and suffers with anxiety which is occasionally severe.
He has always drunk a fair bit-pre covid a lot of his job was being out with clients et , usually with drink involved. Since Last Summer he has been drinking a lot more-nightly. This is obviously not great with sertraline and the combined effects of that and some big outsider stressors have meant that this week he confessed to feeling suicidal. He called me basically howling down the phone. It's been an awful week for him and I've been very distressed seeing him in such a bad way.
I supported him to call the GP this morning and she altered his meds but also advised he stop drinking (which he knew she would and which he has already said that he doesn't think is entirely possible for him.
How can I best support him to cut down on the drinking when he uses it as such a crutch at the moment?
He won't take time off work (though he has week off at Coming up in April but he never really switches the phone off). He is in the middle of a horrible legal thing with his ex wife that isn't going away any time soon. And he is struggling with lockdown as most people are.
I just don't think he can get his head around being sober and trying to deal with those things when he has used alcohol to get him through them for so long.
Has anyone any advice or experience of this and what's best to do?

Bumping for you. You could try speaking with Al-anon....I think it’s like aa but for the families of those struggling, they may have some suggestions. I hope things improve💐.

Hi @bassetlaw - your DP sounds a lot like me - drinking to cope, job stress and I am also on Sertaline. I was drinking very heavily whilst taking the sertaline (I’m only on day 4) and also felt suicidal at one point. It was more a feeling of just not having to face everything and to permanently run away.

I reached my rock bottom when my son caught me drinking his Christmas booze in his bedroom then my daughter followed me to the shops (I was “on a walk”) and confiscated the booze I had bought twice in one day. I’ve had other really low points including being admitted to hospital unconscious but last week was the final straw.

The irony is that his anxiety will get better once he stops or massively cuts down. Alcohol helps at the time as it numbs you but the anxiety and self loathing will still be there. It is said many times but he needs to want to change. Thinks like CBT may help - I am doing a free NHS online one at the moment and some of it is a bit naff but it is helping. I also have a one year strategy to change my job so that is helping with that stressor. I’ve also started taking my sertaline at night and am sleeping better but that may be a coincidence / result of stopping drinking.

I hope your DP can accept his issues and tackle his drinking. There is plenty help there if you look for it. Also - and I know others will disagree with this - I needed to know that my DP still loved me and the relationship was worth saving otherwise there felt no point in stopping. But that is controversial as it puts a degree of responsibility on the partner and the main view is people need to stop for themselves.

Good luck.

Thanks stuckhere...
He recognises that he needs to change what's happening, but he's talking about cutting back rather than stopping-dont think he'd even contemplate that as an option and that might be the issue in the end-not sure he will be successful without cutting it out all together.
I like a drink when out (or in at the weekend currently) but that's it-I don't drink in the week as a rule... but I think I'm going to try to talk to him and suggest we drop the weekend out too for now to see if that helps him.
We don't live together but spend 5 nights A week or so with each other. Often he'll have a drink but I've noticed that he will drink without me twigging it as well, so a beer from the fridge obviously then a massive gin whilst He's making dinner etc. When I spoke to him last night I could hear that he'd had a few drinks-but he hides it really well and I suspect what I thought was probably a few beers is actually regularly a lot more than that. His sertraline dose was increased yesterday so now more important than ever to stop the drinking or else we are going to end up in the state he was in this week more often aren't we and I'm scared about what might happen.