Sobriety and past trauama resurfacing

[CucumberandLemonade]

Am going through this every day. Perhaps its the lockdown and being cooped up with not very much to occupy my mind, but I find a whole load of bad memories and trauma resurfacing. Eg for years I was sad about how my dad died relatively young from a heart attack, but these days I look back at the past and cant help but think he was such an arsehole too for all the DV he put my mum thru and myself as a child - physical and verbal abuse. I think about all sorts of things, but its mostly the negative experiences and people who have hurt me that keep resurfacing randomly throughout the day and its drivng me mad. I know I used alcohol to self medicate before getting sober, but all this past trauma resurfacing is driving me mad and I dont know how to deal with it!

Hi Cucumber - really sorry to hear about this it's really hard. I have similar experiences - different traumas but the same thing of things coming up once I stop drinking. I guess we were using the drink to suppress difficult feelings. I think therapy may be a really good idea? I also got given this link by my doctor to help me help myself with trauma - www.recoverycollegeonline.co.uk/ I haven't used it loads but maybe go there and have a look you may find something that helps?

Also, joining a group for people quitting alcohol may be helpful, as loads of people drink to suppress trauma - there's this one - womenforsobriety.org/ which seems really welcoming, and also the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace which gives you loads of moral support and a focus while you stop drinking. Really hope things start to feel better - stick with it the only way out of it is through it!

I don't know what to suggest but all I can say is that I go through similar. I think being with someone who truly understands what you've been through will help, whenever that happens. It changed everything for me. Took time but now I have unconditional support and validation whenever I really need it. Of course I support him too in life, so it's not all about me, but to have that sounding board who genuinely wants the best for you in life and believes you, is like nourishment for the soul. It helps the healing to progress.