Just started residential detox

[DoItAfraid]

Hi have namechanged.

I have just started at an addiction treatment facility. I arrived yesterday and am in the detox section.

I am finding the days really long - I am in isolation. I am having withdrawal symptoms. I miss my family - my children - and my husband and my home comforts.

I am not sure I can do this. Or that I actually even want to do this. I'd kill or even steal for a drink right now.

Has anyone been through withdrawal in this kind of situation? What should I expect? Do the withdrawal symptoms ramp up over the next few days? Will it get really bad? At the moment aside from the anxiety and some tremors and a headache at times and some bloating, the absolute the worst thing is this incessant craving for a drink.

Has anyone been through this or can anyone advise me in any way?

Sigh. Why oh why did I do this to myself (start drinking I mean).

No advice to give, sorry. I hope things improve quickly though. Can no one at the facility give you any idea what to expect? Regardless, I hope you can stick with it, as it will be so worth it.

I can’t answer your questions, ask a staff member. Just wanted to let you know I’m here to listen, help if I can. You have done so well getting this far, hopefully it will get easier very soon.

Hi DoItAfraid,
You sound lonely. Of course you miss your family. You're very brave to do this.
I spent 4 weeks as an inpatient in an addictions unit, but i wasn't in isolation. Some people in the unit did start off in a seperate detox room for maybe 2 or 3 days. They seemed to sleep a lot.
We were all given a vitamin drip and medication to ease the withdrawal symptoms, so started to feel better without getting worse. I learned a lot from my time there. I know it's really tough at the start, but it's a great chance. Try to stick it out. It will be much less lonely when you're out of isolation.
The cravings suck!!! But they also fade if you give them a chance.
Sending you a hug and hope you'll feel stronger soon.

JCBluebell

Thanks for your reply! Yes we are in isolation because of Covid so I think that is making the loneliness worse.
I am being given Librium and vit supplements but I still have strong cravings. I will stick it out as it's quite expensive and I don't know how I'd justify discharging myself after spending so much family money on this. How long do you think it will take for the cravings to fade?

Thanks for replying.

Hi DoItAfraid,
How are you getting on today?

I think the time for cravings to ease varies quite a bit. I stopped drinking several times before getting to 3.5 years off it. Sometimes the cravings eased after a week or 2 but other times it was longer. The last time i drank, i was absolutely cracking up with severe cravings one minute and the next minute they just disappeared. I remember thinking "this isn't about me any more" and feeling a huge relief.
I'm sorry i can't give you a definite time frame. But hopefully the work you do there will help to push your thought processes in the right direction and the cravings will fade. Please do try to stick it out. This part is without a doubt the hardest part. But if you don't push through it you will never see how much easier things can be.

I can really relate to your feeling that the days are long. I used to will every minute to pass and clock watch constantly. It was unbearable. Now i never wish a moment away. It's transformed my frame of mind.
Will you get out of isolation after 10 days and be able to mix with the others there? How long are you to stay there for?
You asked why oh why did you do this to yourself? But you didn't. Nobody asks for this. It just catches some of us. The important thing is you're trying to fix it.
Sorry for the delays in replying. I will keep replying when i read your posts, but it may take me a wee while to get round to it.
Hang in there. It really does get easier.

It will pass. I promised you that. You have to let it clear before doing any groups. I had awful insomnia to start with them I slept and slept and healed.

If you don't mind me asking for an approximate figure for how much this type of support costs and how available it was? I have a friend who I hope will access this one day. Hope you are doing better today.

@JCBluebell

Hi DoItAfraid, How are you getting on today? I think the time for cravings to ease varies quite a bit. I stopped drinking several times before getting to 3.5 years off it. Sometimes the cravings eased after a week or 2 but other times it was longer. The last time i drank, i was absolutely cracking up with severe cravings one minute and the next minute they just disappeared. I remember thinking "this isn't about me any more" and feeling a huge relief. I'm sorry i can't give you a definite time frame. But hopefully the work you do there will help to push your thought processes in the right direction and the cravings will fade. Please do try to stick it out. This part is without a doubt the hardest part. But if you don't push through it you will never see how much easier things can be. I can really relate to your feeling that the days are long. I used to will every minute to pass and clock watch constantly. It was unbearable. Now i never wish a moment away. It's transformed my frame of mind. Will you get out of isolation after 10 days and be able to mix with the others there? How long are you to stay there for? You asked why oh why did you do this to yourself? But you didn't. Nobody asks for this. It just catches some of us. The important thing is you're trying to fix it. Sorry for the delays in replying. I will keep replying when i read your posts, but it may take me a wee while to get round to it. Hang in there. It really does get easier.

Hi, thanks again for replying. Don't worry at all about the time in reply - I have loads of free time on my hands at the moment!

Yes after a week of isolation and subject to 2 negative Covid tests I get to mix with the others. In a weird way while I am lonely in this group I am also apprehensive about moving out into the wider community at the same time.

I am feeling ok today actually - I went for a walk in the snow and that was brilliant - I loved getting some fresh air. I have therapy for the rest of the afternoon so I will update again later.

@FlappyFish

It will pass. I promised you that. You have to let it clear before doing any groups. I had awful insomnia to start with them I slept and slept and healed.

Thank you. I do feel better and clearer headed now - the day I arrived I was a mess. To be fair I had drunk all night before making the trip up to the place - as you do :-(.

I am reading a lot of books that I have been meaning to read and making lists of things I have been meaning to do so I have a focus of things to do when I get out of you and cant spend my evenings in a drunken stupor.

@vjg13

If you don't mind me asking for an approximate figure for how much this type of support costs and how available it was? I have a friend who I hope will access this one day. Hope you are doing better today.

I don't mind you asking but I am embarrassed to say that it's more than £12k for a 6 week residential stay and about £4-6k more if you want to be in single accommodation.

Hi OP

No answers I'm afraid. However I wanted to tell you that my XH had a residential detox and he has been happily sober for nearly six years.

Sending you positive vibes.

Hi DoItAfraid,
How was therapy today? Glad you got out in the snow today. Funny, it was snowy when i was in detox facility too.
I can understand your nerves at mixing with the others, but you may well find they are a great support to you, and you to them. The solidarity in going through a similar thing together can be so helpful. You can learn a lot from each other.
Try to be as open as you can to the therapy there. Even if you're not too sure about some of it, you'll only find out by embracing it and giving it a chance.
Yes, i drank a fair bit the day before going in too. I think most of us do! We aren't known for making things easy for ourselves, are we?
As for the money- don't be embarrassed. Getting out of the nightmare of alcoholic drinking is worth millions.
I hope you continue to feel better. Keep us posted about how you're doing.

Just wanted to say well done @DoItAfraid
I had a friend recently who didn't make it to detox. So many people are devastated and missing him right now.
So well done to you. Keep at it. It will get easier I promise.
Can you sleep or watch some box sets in there to pass the time?

Just sending you lots and lots of good wishes

You got this xxxx

And every day you get stronger

Have you planned treats for when you get out?? Xxxxxxxxx

Thank you for your reply. I think it will be money well spent if it gives you the help you need. I hope you do well.

Hi everyone - thanks for all your replies and well wishes.

I feel a lot better - Day 6 alcohol free which is not much but for 3 years this is miraculous to me. I feel good but have loads to do. The therapy is so intense and facing up to all of my mistakes is really something.

I am so ashamed of some of the crazy sh*t I did and the lies, gosh the lies. I had to write a list of the most serious consequences of my behaviour and it was MORTIFYING - I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to all the people I have hurt because my behaviour was appalling.

I haven't planned any treats for when I get home but I have a milestone birthday next month and this is so pathetic but I just can't imagine not having a celebratory drink on my birthday. It's a silly thing in the scheme of things but it makes me question if I can actually stay sober in real life - it's all very well in detox when you can't even go outside alone but will I reallly not have a glass of fizz on my birthday? It's hard to imagine. What will I do with myself?

Basically is life still fun when you are sober? I am not convinced yet to be honest!

Thanks so much for chatting to me - it really helps as it's a lot of time to fill and a lot of raking over stuff that I am ashamed of and lots of realisation of all your fuck ups - it can be quite mentally draining.

Day 6 is fantastic! Miraculous indeed after so long! You should be very proud of yourself. I'm so glad you're feeling better today.
That kind of therapy is so intense and draining, especially when you're already feeling pretty crap. Absolutely so painful facing up to your mistakes. The lies come with the territory. Please try not to feel too guilty that you lied. I lied constantly when i was drinking, desperate to cover up what was happening. I lied about it so much that i started to believe my own lies. It sounds like you're trying to be really honest now which is so brave.
When i stopped drinking i felt so guilty about what i had put my family through and kept promising to make it up to them. But i quickly learned that all they wanted from me was to get well. They didn't care about apologies and grand gestures and promises. They just wanted their daughter/ sister/ partner back.

Day 6 is still early days in your treatment and recovery. Don't expect too much of yourself at this stage. You are not allowed to go outside alone because they know you aren't ready for that. You couldn't be expected to be ready yet. But you may well feel ready by the time you are finished there. At the beginning i just had to push the alcohol thoughts from my mind and never let myself entertain them in case i caved. But you will start to replace old habits with new ones. There are also a couple of medications that csn help with cravings or produce a nasty response if you drink alcohol. Maybe they will discuss those options with you.
For your birthday, try to think of lots of non alcohol things you would like to do and eat and drink. Having a drink was part of your birthday celebrations in the past, but not all of it. Did you spend time with family? This year you will remember it all and won't be regretting something you said because you were drunk. Did you have nice food? This year you will savour it because you won't be just interested in the wine. There are so many elements of your birthday that you can enjoy to the full without alcohol.
Is life still fun when sober? 100%. It just opens up so many doors and opportunities that drinking has wedged shut. I thought i needed drink so as mot to be shy, but i am so much more outgoing and confident without it. It's a real fun though. Not the fake fun of being half cut that makes you cringe the next day. My friends like me much more now. Apparently i was not at all fun when drunk!
You're doing great DoItAfraid. Keep on doing what you're doing.
X

Well done

Amazing achievement

Bet you are looking a lot better too
Brighter skin and eyes

This is all so well worth it

Day 6 is fantastic well done OP 👏
Yes you can absolutely have fun without alcohol I promise!
Have you listened to the Love Sober podcasts? They are fab.
https://www.lovesober.com/podcast-1

Also why not order a load of sober books? There's thread in here about good ones.

These are great:

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Sober-Diaries-Audiobook/B0779G3CS6?sourcecode=M2M30DFT1Bk13109292002JW&&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImvS6jjvo7gIVAp7tCh1U9wXoEAAYASAAEgKtCvDBwE&gc

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Unexpected-Joy-of-Being-Sober-Audiobook/B076HZCHCH?sourcecode=M2M30DFT1BkSH11221601A7&&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4fvrtfvo7gIVkddtCh1IsQC8EAAYASAAEgIYYD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

You can totally do this!

Well done OP.

When I bump into XH he's happy and well, so different from the man I lived with. He has a good life.

One day at a time.

@DoItAfraid I just wanted to say massive well done, you are so brave. I gave up drinking 10 months ago and life is totally fabulous sober!!! I still have loads of fun and feel a thousand times better than before! Hang in there, this is the hardest bit. Soon you’ll be reaping all the benefits xxx

Well done

Well done

Amazing work xxx

Hi OP. I just wanted to say well done. You seem (understandably) really worried about facing up to the things you did and how you are going to make amends. I wondered if it would help to have a response from a different perspective. I lived for too many years with an alcoholic spouse and I can promise you that “all” your family will want from you is for you to go the course with your sobriety. To be honest, just an acknowledgement of the harm done and a genuine commitment to change will likely be plenty for them at this stage. On the flip side, you taking a drink to celebrate your birthday next month would crush them. So, don’t worry about your family and making amends. all that stuff is actually for you and about genuinely flipping the switch inside yourself. Really good luck to you!

@AFitOfTheVapours

Hi OP. I just wanted to say well done. You seem (understandably) really worried about facing up to the things you did and how you are going to make amends. I wondered if it would help to have a response from a different perspective. I lived for too many years with an alcoholic spouse and I can promise you that “all” your family will want from you is for you to go the course with your sobriety. To be honest, just an acknowledgement of the harm done and a genuine commitment to change will likely be plenty for them at this stage. On the flip side, you taking a drink to celebrate your birthday next month would crush them. So, don’t worry about your family and making amends. all that stuff is actually for you and about genuinely flipping the switch inside yourself. Really good luck to you!

Sorry for late reply - I am now out of detox so only allowed ten mins a day on the computure.

@AFitOfTheVapours thank you so much for the lovely message and the bit about not drinking on my birthday. that has really given me food for thought.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT you have all been amazing. I will post when again when I am next allowed on the PC.

This is like jail LOL.