Hi all - I feel a little bad posting here as this is such a personal problem but I think it would be good to talk to someone else about it.
I've been with loving husband nearly 14 years. He's affectionate and responsible, and we are very communicative and open with eachother. He's also looking forward very much to becoming a father in March.
When I first met him at university, he was a heavy weed smoker, which he gave up but transitioned immediately into heavy drinking. Given we were students this was pretty normal, but eventually we (I) instigated a only drinking on weekends and Wednesday's rule which we've managed to stick with over the years and is a big help.
Fast forward to today and he is drinking much less. This summer he had a bit of a health scare so he cut down even more. For instance, when he drinks, it might be two or three beers rather than four or five.
However, when he gets drunk, it's still a problem. It happens a few times a year when he'll just lose the ability to drink sensibly and goes completely overboard. I can always tell as gets very loud and argumentative (never violent), and particularly defensive when I try and tell him he's had enough. He'll find anything to shout at me about. Basically, I can write off my own night, and work out a way to extricate us from whenever the situation is and get him to bed. Occasionally he manages to send himself to bed but he'll bring a drink up with him?!
The next day he's always apologetic and we have a big talk about how I can help him, how he doesn't want it to happen again etc, and vows it will be the last time.
I say to myself - he means it, it won't happen again, and if it does I just won't put up with it. But I realise, of course, I will put up with it... and surely it will happen again... The problem is we're going to have a baby. While I've been supporting him with this as his wife, neither of us want this to happen in front of our child.
So what can we do? Aside from him giving up drinking altogether? But going teetotal seems extreme... I can't tell if I'm worrying over not much.
Has anyone else changed their drinking habits after they have children? If so what did you do? Any advice would help.
PS. We are doing dry January :)