Consequences to getting help

[Underit]

Please could you lovely people help me with reassurance.
I am a drinker - daily, without fail. It may be a bottle of wine (never less), it may be 4 cans, it may be half a litre of whiskey/vodka. Basically it doesn’t matter what form it comes in I drink something alcoholic daily, I don’t even enjoy the taste of all of it I just do it to get the feeling I crave. It gives me confidence and makes me feel happy, I’m terribly insecure and my self esteem is non existent but alcohol seems to make me feel better. I work in the evenings and so never drive in the morning when I’m probably still over the limit - but I’ve started working til later 10:30/11pm ish and I thought oh good this will mean I won’t bother with drinking once I’m home because it’s so late but that’s not been the case, I just drink faster.
I don’t know what to do, am I an alcoholic? It doesn’t seem to affect my DC because they are always in bed and I clean up before I go to bed and I don’t feel like I am physically dependent in the respect that I can function all day without it until I’ve done my shifts.
I would like to discuss this with my GP but I am petrified they will refer me to social services, I also have quite a lot of social anxiety in new situations/groups (unless I’ve had a drink of course, then I’m life and soul of the party) and so I don’t want my GP to refer me to any groups or whatever because I won’t attend I know I won’t - the anxiety will be too much.
Can anybody help me please - I do want to stop drinking, even if just for financial reasons and losing some weight but just don’t know where to start.
Thankyou for reading and any replies are appreciated.

Hi there, I've been on the sober Oct thread, and no drink Nov and haven't had a drink for 61 days now, I was drinking half a bottle of wine a day everyday and it is a hard habit to break. Try a night off, get a nice soft drink in that you like and is a bit of a treat that you wouldn't usually drink. Keep your hands busy with something, any sewing needed? Paint your nails? Get an early night, read some of the sober October thread and then join one of the current support threads here. I have found it very helpful to check in on the thread regularly and it's nice knowing like minded people are with you and can do it. Don't think it's forever, it might not be, but aim for 1 day at a time. Good luck.

@Hohofortherobbers thankyou so much for responding - I was really nervous about writing it all down. Do you think I can do it without extra help? I just wish there was a pill I could take and it would stop me drinking - I’ve just managed to stop smoking after smoking for 17yrs without being able to give up, I tried champix tablets and now I haven’t had a cig for 2months. I wish there was a tablet like this for booze ha.

I KNOW you can do it. Doesn't have to be forever, that's too daunting, just 1 night to start with. Even if you're constantly thinking about alcohol, and missing it and it's hard, you can not drink for 1 night. Eat a ton of biscuits to get the sugar fix and hand to mouth action. Do whatever fills the hole to start with. Start reading some quit lit, I read 'the joy of being sober' and I'm currently on 'alcohol lied to me'. Be hugely and rightfully proud of yourself when you have done that 1 night sober.

Massively well done on stopping smoking, I bet you're feeling the benefits of that by now and are really pleased you did it? Would be really good to feel just the same about the booze wouldn't it?

Well done for posting! I stopped 100 days ago after several false starts. Read/listen to as much quit lit as you can, my favourite is love yourself sober they have a podcast too. Just take it one day at a time and lots of treats, my favourites are posh chocolates, a hot bath and a book or magazine. You can do it!

I am so rough today - I drank so much last night, because I wanted to have the confidence to be fun in bed with my husband that’s a major factor in why I drink most nights, so that I feel more comfortable just having sex. I’m so embarrassed by it.

Actually one thing I've found is sex is so much better sober. I find it a lot easier to become aroused and climax sober. Perhaps it would be the same for you, another good reason to not drink for at least 1 night. What does your dh think of your drinking? Does he drink?

He drinks with me but to be honest he wouldn’t bother not drinking. It’s me that pushes it.