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Alcohol support
Finally getting hubby to doctors - what tests?
Lardeedar · 30/11/2020 14:26
Hi guys
My Dh hasn’t been to doctors in over 10 years. He drinks way way waaaaaaaay over the recommenced allowance and has done forever, he’s finally agreed to get a liver function test (to shut me up he says)... are there any other tests I should get him to ask for? This may be my only chance! What other things might eating and drinking lots cause aN otherwise (hopefully) healthy 35 Year old male that could be checked by a blood test or something?
Thanks a lot!
PlanDeRaccordement · 30/11/2020 14:31
Blood test for cholesterol, trigylcerides, and vitamin/mineral deficiencies. Alcohol also increases risk of various cancers (throat, bowel, pancreas, etc) so if he has any symptoms I’d ask for them to be checked out as well.
Skippii · 30/11/2020 14:34
And blood sugar. Tell the doc about the drinking and any symptoms, and they will order a broad panel of anything relevant. High alcohol intake can block absorption of vitamins/minerals so don't skip it thinking he takes a multivitamin etc.
Lardeedar · 30/11/2020 20:10
Thank you so much. I’ve made a note and will ask for all!
Spud13 · 02/12/2020 05:29
You don't 'ask' for tests the Dr will assess him and decide what is needed!
mayflowerapplepie · 02/12/2020 05:33
@Spud13
Yup. I guess the question is what do you hope to achieve from this? What will happen if his liver function is normal? If you go in with him and the GP asks questions about why you want blood tests done on your husband what will you say? What will your husbands response be?
And finally I would urge caution. I understand entirely why you are trying to push your husband into action but he may not WANT to change anything and unless he is ready to change and make this decision himself you might end up very frustrated.
GeidiPrimes · 02/12/2020 05:51
It will be much easier to just be straight with the GP about his alcohol intake, then they can action the correct tests.
He will almost definitely need some strong vitamin B compound and thiamine, as alcohol prevents the body from absorbing these and depletion basically causes beriberi.
Good luck OP.
tribpot · 02/12/2020 06:05
Unfortunately you may find that his liver function test comes back within normal range, see the nhs.uk page "liver function tests can be normal at many stages of liver disease".
If this happens, he is likely to feel vindicated that his problem drinking isn't a problem even if the GP (as I'm sure he/she will) explains that his alcohol consumption is too high and is damaging his liver.
Essentially I don't think it matters what tests are performed or even what the results are. If he doesn't accept that he has an alcohol problem, he won't stop drinking. You may be better focusing on what you are prepared to accept in terms of his drinking, rather than hoping a medical test will transform his behaviour.
Lardeedar · 02/12/2020 08:14
Thanks for your advice guys. Dh was happy to tell doctor how much he drinks (which is 80-100 units a month btw- not including social events). He does not believe he has a problem as never misses work, is never violent, doesn’t drink in the mornings, doesn’t seem to suffer from hangovers particularly, runs and cycles daily and looks fit. Yes I was hoping a test or even a convo with GP would shake him into seeing he can’t do this forever without consequences but yes it is true his liver function test will probs come back normal and he will feel vindicated in continuing how he is. I thought this was a good idea but maybe it’s not now ... poop. It’s frustrating that I can’t help and just have to wait for something irreparable to happen.
curtainsfort · 02/12/2020 08:26
@Spud13
This. I don't think you can just rock up and ask for a liver function test, there would have to be a clinical need. That you want him to face his drinking is not w clinical need for a lot of tests. Yes, have him speak to the doctor re his drinking but fully prepared to walk out of the surgery with nothing more then a leaflet or a scribbled down phone number.
ALLIS0N · 02/12/2020 08:31
Have you told the doctor that your husband is dependent on alcohol ? Because I think that’s what you are saying.
Would he go to AA?
Would you consider going to Al Anon?
VioletCharlotte · 02/12/2020 08:34
80-100 units a month doesn't sound that high. 20-25 a week? I know the recommended limit is 14.
Lardeedar · 02/12/2020 09:07
Haha I’m such a doughnut, it’s 12-14 units a day, so 84-98 a week, 300-400 a month 🙄🙄🙄 (why can’t he see that that is NOT okay??)
Dowermouse · 02/12/2020 09:21
As above, unless he decides to change his dependancy, a trip to the GP won't make a difference.
What you can do is seek help for yourself and decide where your line is. This must be costing your family unit a fortune on so many levels.
One of my sisters has stayed with her boyfriend through his aloholism. They met at 25 and are now nothing their early 60s.
She has lived with his impotence, , meaning she has forgone being a mother, she has been stolen from, abused, lied to and cheated on. She lives in a ramshackle, filthy house, with no financial stability. She's worth so much more than this.
tribpot · 02/12/2020 09:27
just have to wait for something irreparable to happen
I wouldn't. You can read plenty on the boards here about the behaviour people are putting up with waiting for their addict to see the light of day. Maybe he will one day (I did), maybe he won't. I always knew I was drinking too much, by the way. I just didn't want to stop. I thought I needed the drink to cope.
Basically you could be waiting until he dies. And things will get very, very ugly before it reaches that point.
Obviously he could have an awakening as he gets older and less able to deal with the alcohol abuse. But you can't control that.
I would echo the suggestion of going to Al Anon - this is the organisation for loved ones of alcoholics to deal with the fallout of the addiction. You can't choose what he does, but you can choose what you tolerate.
bluebluezoo · 02/12/2020 09:56
You don't 'ask' for tests the Dr will assess him and decide what is needed!
This.
Are you making him go to the Gp just for random tests in the hope something will “prove” he’s drinking too much?
Does he have any symptoms at all? If, as you describe, he’s fit, active, holding down a job etc, there may not be anything to find. As pp said, it may reassure him he’s not drinking enough to cause major damage.
Will you go with him to the GP appt? He may think he’s going to be honest about his drinking, but I’ll put money on the fact he will underestimate the amount to the GP, probably considerably.
MiniCooperLover · 02/12/2020 10:05
Although I think your worries are justified if my DH marched me, an adult, to the Dr for an apt and insisted on sitting in to talk in my Dr I'd be really cross!
Lardeedar · 04/12/2020 21:10
He wouldn’t go to AA because he doesn’t think he’s got a problem. He functions fine. Goes to work, great dad, etc. He thinks he can handle drinking this much and that the guidance is dumbed down for your average male (not super matcho him of course) . And maybe he is right. I just don’t want to wait around doing nothing until it all goes wrong. He’s getting a full blood test anyhow. But yes, ultimately I suppose it’s his decision how much to drink, how much of the risks he wants to take on
C0RA · 05/12/2020 00:30
Yes but it’s your decision if you want to live like this. You have choices too.
Do you have children already or are you planning to have them ?
Would you think about contacting Al Anon ? It can help to talk to others in the same situation.
endoftether51 · 05/12/2020 21:44
@Lardeedar I'm thinking of joining al-anon
I think I could do with support from others maybe you could try the same?
My dh is all over the place with admitting he's got a problem. One minute he admits he an alcoholic, the next it's my problem for thinking he has a problem.
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