My SIL starting detox next week - how can I help her?

[Whitegrenache]

Dsil is living with us at the moment temporarily due to mental health crisis and alcoholism- she's finally decided to get her shit together and starts 2 week detox programme this week. This is an outpatient 9-6 so will be home with use every evening

Anyone gone through this process and share some insight into potential issues, pitfalls and or support we can do?

She has a lovely room and is well fed and watered! Thanks

Clear all booze out of the house and you and any other adults in the house stay sober through it too.

Yeah that's what we plan to do. We live rural so she can't go to a shop with out one of us driving her there so that's controllable too

Anyone else - bumping for evening people

You could get support for yourselves from Al-Anon, they have a helpline, literature and online meetings.

Buy chocolate and cold fizzy drinks for when the craving hits.

Tell her to find some AA meetings on Zoom.

She'll probably find her "mental health" picks up when she gets the alcohol out of her system.

Be prepared for her to become unwell, depending how much she usually drinks.
Sweating, shaking, vomiting, hallucinations and possibly seizures (if she has been drinking heavily for some time) are all possible symptoms.
I'm not saying this to scare you. If she's doing it as an outpatient, the first 2 symptoms I have listed are likely, the last 3 possible.

@Blueuggboots she's getting medication for the physical withdrawal symptoms so hopefully she will be ok

Watching with a huge amount of interest. My SiL is also an alcoholic with severe MH problems.
She is making my DB and niece/nephew's life hell and he has had to remove the 3 of them from the house.

She has a crisis team but thus far has refused all treatment.

Can i ask how you/she arranged the detox programme? Private, NHS? DB feels very let down by all the services and I am desperately trying to help him find a way forward.

Sorry to hijack, what you're doing is an incredible act of kindness and I wish you all the
best during her detox.

AA member here OP. Second Al-anon so that you get support through this.

If you're SIL wants to do AA zoom meetings she can search for online ones by area so that she could build a support network for when meetings go back to being in RL. Without meaning to sound rude, I stress that above suggestion is if she wants to - feel free to private msg me.

@pinkiepromise123 I previously had an in-patient detox through NHS. They admitted me via a mental health team. I don't know the ins and outs of your situation and can only speak from my own experience but I was assessed twice and it was a voluntary admittance. Again feel free to msg me.

I can't change other people's behaviour but I can change how I respond to it, that means for me that I talk things out with another alcoholic, perhaps Al-anon would help you.

Maybe listen to the podcast Hooked. I don't have any experience of detox however there insight and perspective is really interesting, truthful and raw

An idea to help the mental side of it- have ideas for options to keep busy in the evenings. Board games, films/box sets, exercise, something crafty, whatever else you can think of.

Bloody well done her, and bloody well done you guys too for supporting her. You’re amazing. Make sure you have support too. Hope it goes well x

@buddhasbelly

AA member here OP. Second Al-anon so that you get support through this.

If you're SIL wants to do AA zoom meetings she can search for online ones by area so that she could build a support network for when meetings go back to being in RL. Without meaning to sound rude, I stress that above suggestion is if she wants to - feel free to private msg me.

@pinkiepromise123 I previously had an in-patient detox through NHS. They admitted me via a mental health team. I don't know the ins and outs of your situation and can only speak from my own experience but I was assessed twice and it was a voluntary admittance. Again feel free to msg me.

I can't change other people's behaviour but I can change how I respond to it, that means for me that I talk things out with another alcoholic, perhaps Al-anon would help you.

Thank you

The problem here is that SiL is refusing help - rehab/detox,it's all been offered and MH services won't engage whilst she's drunk. They've refused to section her despite suicide attempts so it's a cycle of binge / hospital / sober up / home ad infinitum
In the meantime she's refusing to budge from the family home,'forcing DC and BiL to uproot and squeeze in with her DParents.

I just wish she would accept help

Hi all - apologies I hadn't realised anyone had replied!
This has been an ongoing problem for her for a few years now precipitated by a abusive relationships which she hid from her family for a long time - she eventually left him and it has taken her 3 years to finally sell the house and be able to move on. She loved with dPIL for 3 years and they have had 3 years of hell too.

The tipping point was sil getting into trouble at work being disciplined.
She admitted she has an alcohol problem and contacted an alcohol counsellor through her women's aid group.

The detox started on Tuesday and so far she is doing fabulous. It is a nhs day patient service 10-6 and they are medicated for both the cravings and the withdrawal effects - Valium essentially so she is absolutely knackered on an evening so likes to have a good meal with us at the table then she sits on her own watching tv or on her phone.

My only concern about the detox is that there doesn't seem to be any what I call psychiatric help - it's literally a place for them to be and to be monitored - they watch tv, knit and chat!

She needs to go back to work at some point and face the music as it's obvious work for whatever reason are being shitty to her. And yes I have no doubt she is not blameless!

My thoughts are she needs to be open and tell them everything that has gone on and hope for a caring response. Or she engineers a mutual leaving agreement and she is free to find another job.

She has the beauty of savings which can potentially finance her mortgage etc for a year. However I do feel she needs some structure to get back to, in order to focus staying away from alcohol.

Yes it very tough having her here as my dc 11 and 14 find it hard but so far we are very communicative as a family and to be honest there is no one else to have her