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Alcohol support

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Where to start, and how to stop?

12 replies

Foxesinsockses · 25/10/2020 01:56

Well that’s it really. I have a very nice life with no money worries and 2 beautiful children, a (somewhat) satisfying career and a stable, long-term LDR. I’ve worked hard to get here, but always had a less than healthy relationship with alcohol. And other substances in the past, but that’s gone now. The alcohol is a constant though. I can’t go on like this forever, eventually this is going to catch up with me and what then? What about my poor children? Why can’t I put them first? I mean they are loved and cared for and clean and supported, ferried around to swimming and tennis and play dates and tucked into bed with hugs and stories every night, but I have a glass of wine every night while I do their supper and after they are in bed I keep going. Only wine, and I go slow, so I’m never falling over drunk but it’s way too much. Every night I wake in guilt and loathing and fear; every morning I say today is the day, every evening I think well, a glass of wine is ok, it’s normal. Now I’m working from home I don’t even have to pretend to be alert and together in the mornings. I can be a shambles every day, and I’m good enough at my job that I get away with it. I could make loads of excuses, like I’m insecure or unhappy or traumatised (some or all of this may be true) but that doesn’t really matter, what matters is that my problem is getting worse and I don’t know how or who or what I need to turn it around. I’ve reached capacity for tonight, so probably will sleep soon, but if anyone has any thoughts or words of support they may be helpful tomorrow or the next day or the next as I try to change this. My children deserve better.

OP posts:
coronafiona · 25/10/2020 01:15

I think you start today and not tomorrow, but you don't do it alone. Can you contact AA for some support?

Sneachta · 25/10/2020 06:30

Morning op. Been there. Ended up hospitalised. It's a tough road but one that you will be delighted your on. Start by reading Craig Becks Alcohol Lied to me. Get your partner on board to start with you. Get some nice soft drinks. I used to drink tonic water at my trigger time. Read some of the sober threads. I'm on day 1 starting out but there are loads. It means your not alone and great support.

You wont feel any guilt or loathing anymore. Which is the best feeling. Once started dint give up. Moan here

Parkmama · 25/10/2020 07:39

I similarly want to stop drinking, over the years I have noticed I drink more often and higher volumes. It's often the first thing I reach for once my DD's are in bed and I wake up feeling foggy and rough. I've suffered from anxiety and depression over the last couple of years and I definitely drink to take the edge off, but I think it's probably making me feel worse. I have started by removing all booze from the house, I got one of those 2 litre bottles for water which I am working my way through each day and every time I think about pouring a glass of wine , I make a cup of tea instead. It's not easy, but I'm taking it day by day. Good luck Thanks

spacepoppers · 25/10/2020 07:46

This was me a couple of months ago. I stumbled across the naked mind by Annie Grace and the alcohol experiment. Truly life changing. I haven't had a drop since and I cannot begin to tell you the incredible difference in how I feel and look. Good luck OP

Difford · 25/10/2020 07:52

Sign up to the free Annie Grace 30 Day challenge. You'll get daily emails and videos which really help to change your mindset around alcohol.
My drinking had been getting much worse during lockdown but I've been alcohol free for 2 months now and feeling loads better. I have moments of huge guilt about times I have been drunk or hungover around my DD but feel positive that I am not behaving like that anymore.
You can do this Flowers

nitgel · 25/10/2020 07:52

I read annie grace too. It made sense to me. Nearly 2 years not drinking. And dont miss it.

emmetgirl · 25/10/2020 07:57

I feel for you. I've been sober for 14 years now. While I was drinking I could never even conceive of not drinking. It seemed an impossibility to me. I stopped through AA. It's not for everyone but it worked for me. I'm an atheist so I took someone's advice and created my own higher power. Whichever road you take please do something. My life is immeasurably better sober and I don't even think about drinking any more xxx

hazelnutmochi · 25/10/2020 17:44

Second the alcohol experiment and alcohol lied to me. Also love yourself sober and the love sober podcast. I've always had a destructive relationship with alcohol but it was getting out of control over lockdown. I'm 2 months sober now. Good luck to you

BertieBloopsMum · 25/10/2020 21:47

You can do this! You don't have to live in shame.

Annie Grace basically copies Allan Carr's Easy Way To Stop Drinking, so my recommendation would be to listen to that on audiobook. It's amazingly effective.

I also listened to quit lit like The Unexpected Joys Of Being Sober, and The Sober Diaries.

Like PPs, I also recommend Alcohol Explained.

I was drinking far more than you, and now don't drink at all Smile (seven months sober).

Foxesinsockses · 25/10/2020 22:45

Thank you all. Some good tips I will definitely look into. A much more positive day today, I did have a G&T but did not buy wine when I was out and I knew I had none in the house. So I had a long bath and a cup of tea once the children were in bed, which was much more enjoyable than another night throwing down wine and eating crap. I don’t even enjoy it really. If only it was easy to keep that mindset though. Challenge really starts tomorrow though, partner comes home and he does like to have a glass or two with supper. He doesn’t drink when he’s away though, and has a much more normal attitude to it than I do. Thank you all again. Already I’m looking forward to not having drinking regrets tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
cherrytreeblossom · 26/10/2020 07:32

Do you find it hard to stop drinking for a while even when you really want to

Or

You drink more than you intend once you start drinking

I used to drink pretty much daily even though most days I promised I wouldn't - my resolve would disappear by the evening when I opened the bottle. I'd always intend just a couple but would always finish the bottle.

I was pretty high functioning - holding down job , car, 3 kids, dog, house etc

It all got a bit much for me and I ended up going to AA.

I'm nearly 18 months sober now and so glad I didn't continue down the path I was in as I felt it was about to get a lot worse!

Sobriety is great, I never thought I'd be able to do it xx

notroundthebend · 26/10/2020 08:37

OP I could have written your post. I'm in the same boat sinking. I've had an alcohol free weekend and intend to stick to it. It's started to really impact my life and I'm scared I can't seem to stop. I wish you well and hope you continue your journey x

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