So ANNOYED

[Hiccupiscal]

I did 11 days. No drinking. No cigarettes. Cold turkey. I just stopped.

Then last night, I drank a bottle of red wine, and smoked half a pack.

Now this is NOTHING compared to what I can do to myself (I can drink easily a few bottles of wine, whisky, smoke upwards of 20 ciggies)

But im so annoyed with myself, I was starting to feel great, my skin was glowing, the wrinkles on my face appeared to be getting better, I was feeling pretty smug.... so why did I do it?!

It doesn't help that my DP is still drinking and smoking, and I guess that added to my "why not" attitude last night. I wanted to spend some time with him and we historically have done that over a bottle.

How do I get off this merry go round? I so want to stop.

Today I feel sick, tired, I havent done anything as I'm struggling so much.... I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

Dont know why I'm writing this really, I guess to be accountable. Im so annoyed I threw away 11 days of sobriety, all for what?!

11 days is awesome. You won't have undone all the good work in one blip. Start again today, next time you're tempted remind yourself about how you felt today physically and emotionally. It's possible that you might just say 'fuck it' and drink and smoke anyway, but give it a go. You've shown how strong you are, start again. Good luck

Hey, well done for that start! Don't beat yourself up too much.

Have you read or listened to any quit lit? It really helps. There are a couple of threads going that list some good ones.

Allan Carr's Easyway To Stop Drinking is my top recommendation, listened to rather than read.

Thank you so much for the replies, I am now on day 4 of being free of ciggies and alcohol.
Its not easy... I just really want my quit to stick.

I am really trying to keep my head space in "think how crap you feel" the next day, and I know it sounds vain, but how much better my skin, and I will look, if I manage to stay away from it all.

Smoking and drinking heavily has really taken its toll on my skin and teeth over the years...

That's not vanity, it's your reward for your hard work. One day at a time, overcome one moment of temptation at a time xx

wow I'm in awe that you quit smoking AND booze! Well done you, I wouldnt beat yourself up for a little slip.
You've done it once so you can definitely do it again.