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Alcohol support

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What to do

1 reply

SussexPup · 08/10/2020 08:48

My husband has just lost his father, and is drinking because he wants to be pissed. He has not moved from the sofa for 2 days Background is complicated with his father, and all the emotion is now coming out. My husband also has a drink problem, he seemed to be on an up, and had coped well during the time my FIL was in hospital prior to his death, obviously it is all crashing down now. We have got into huge fights about me buying alcohol for him, I refuse, then he shouts/I shout and cry/ he accuses me of not caring.... and repeat. In The end I go and buy the wine as otherwise he would get in his car drunk. I feel like a heartless bitch shouting at him about this, but I can see into the future, and the weeks of depression, anger, insomnia and pain than is in prospect. Doubt there is any real advice people can offer, adding in my husband refuses any of the normal things that you might do like seeing his GP about depression. Do I buy the wine, and keep him off the road, let him go and call the police...... it all seems horrible writing it out. Do I accept this is a cr*p time and go with the flow.......

OP posts:
AFitOfTheVapours · 09/10/2020 21:02

Hi OP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The short answer is, absolutely don’t buy his alcohol for him. If he chooses to drink drive, you call 999 and report him, every time.

It is very, very easy for partners of alcoholics to fall into enabling behaviours (lots on that online of you google it) and you need to learn to detach. Have you thought about getting some support for yourself? Alanon is the sister organisation to AA and is just for family members. They might be able to help you avoid enabling him.

Really good luck to you.

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