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Alcohol support
What pushed alcoholic to get help
blackandwhite2020 · 05/10/2020 08:24
Simplifying here, but broke up with my husband two months ago and his drinking has got worse. If losing your wife, kids and home isn't enough to shock someone into getting help, what is?
Is shock even the right thing to get someone to seek help, I doubt it. I want to support him as much as I can (with boundaries and realistically) but I don't know what to do. I'm the only one that knows the extent so my current plan is to spill the beans to his parents and a couple of friends as they currently believe what he's telling them which is he's not drinking...
Thoughts?
X
lughnasadh · 05/10/2020 08:32
There's nothing you can do, but your current 'plan' is horrible.
He's your Ex now. Leave his relationships with his family and friends alone.
Imissmoominmama · 05/10/2020 08:36
You can’t nag an alcoholic out of drinking, if that’s what you’re hoping his parents will do. He needs a reason to want to stop. Alcohol lies to people- tells them they need it- it’s really sad to see it take hold 
.
Cocothefirst · 05/10/2020 08:40
I left him. He eventually got help and has I think been sober for a while.
You're not responsible for getting him sober. It's hard but you have to leave them to it.
mdh2020 · 05/10/2020 09:08
You can’t help an alcoholic. They have to reach rock bottom and it’s much lower down than you would ever believe. There is nothing you can do for him and telling his family won’t make any difference to him. He will only get sober when he wants to.
Nicelunch25 · 05/10/2020 09:17
He has to want to do it himself. I am in AA , 4 years sober and I see various rock bottoms. I know a man who killed his mother with an axe, loads who lost relationships and kids and not very many who didn't lose anything. I didn't lose anything but was so unhappy inside. For me it was the way I felt about myself and realising that Aa gave me a solution. I wouldn't say my heart was totally in it when I went to my first aa meeting but somehow I stayed in aa and am happier than I've ever been. It's really frustrating watching the people come in and just don't follow the suggestions (going to meetings and doing the program) but some people just aren't ready. It's awful as aa has given me a beautiful life and is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Coffeesnob11 · 07/10/2020 11:47
Its so hard, I left my husband, I thought leaving would shock him enough. He then lost access to his elder son, again he continued drinking and now the room he is renting is coming to an end and he will potentially be redundant. Only he can decide. His family are very supportive of me but they knew and saw how much he was drinking. Its very hard for someone who has not lived with an alcoholic to believ how much they are drinking as they lie and look completely normal when they want to. Have you attended al anon at all (most are online at the moment)? It is really helping me understand I am not alone.
480Widdio · 07/10/2020 11:57
There is nothing you can do and telling his relatives will make no difference,except they will think badly of you not him.
I am a recovering alcoholic coming up on 18years sober,nothing anyone said to me made any difference,I stopped when I was ready.Very few Alcoholics get sober,that is the sad reality.
Let him go,you could go to Al-anon for yourself.
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