Are there really benefits to stopping?

[WelshMammy123]

Hi all. I've read a lot online about the benefits of stopping drinking but I wanted to ask for the views of those that have actually stopped - do you find you sleep better, mental health is better, more energy etc?

I know I'm drinking too much and it's spiralled a bit during lockdown. I'm a sahm and the days have felt long at times at home with the DC. I think I use wine as a 'treat' and a means of relaxing but I'm sick of feeling like crap in the mornings and having little to no patience or energy. I'm also on AD's for postnatal depression and wonder whether going sober would help in that regard.

I guess I'm looking for someone to help me understand the real benefits you've found of not drinking and whether what I'd gain by not drinking is worth it.

Thanks!

Alcohol is a depressant and can stop AD working effectively.

As for benefits, by week 3 my sleep was amazing. I wake up feeling like a new woman. My face looks less puffy, my skin is brighter and I feel bloody marvellous. The anxiety that has been getting worse and worse for a couple of years is practically nonexistent. I’m only heading towards the week 6 mark so it’s early days but I really want to continue to be AF.

I’m currently reading the unexpected joy of being sober and, whilst not at the drinking level the author was at, I am seeing life around me in a different way. Everything feels, well -better. Give a go, what have you got to lose?

Some benefits here.
www.oneyearnobeer.com/booze-free-what-happens-your-body-after-1-hour/

Thanks @FatherBrownsBicycle that's really helpful. Do you mind me asking how much you were drinking before you stopped? And do you miss it? What do you do to replace it as it were?

That's amazing you've noticed benefits so quickly.

I love the clear head I have every day since I've stopped drinking regularly, and my vision has improved.

Hi WelshMammy123. I stopped drinking at the end of May and I feel much better. I have more energy, feel much fresher in the mornings, have better skin and clearer eyes. The best benefit is feeling much calmer. I was often stressed and anxious and the alcohol was making it all worse not better. It also frees up lots of time in the evenings to spend doing other useful or relaxing activities.

I’m not going to lie, despite all these benefits i still get cravings often early evening, especially on Saturdays when I feel I really should be able to have a couple of drinks. I cope with this by still spending the same time ‘drinking’ with DH/friends but I have AF beer and AF sparkling wine (v sweet at first but I like it now). I have ups and downs. I’m vainly annoyed I haven’t lost much weight yet. I know going AF forever makes sense 100%, but I still get sad thinking about future big celebrations and holidays. I wasn’t a terribly heavy drinker BTW. I normally had 3-4 smallish drinks 5-6 nights a week. The problem was the always wanting too! If I drank thur- Sun evenings, but then told myself I wouldn’t on the Monday, the Monday evening would be torture and I would be grumpy as hell. The quit lit is a great help. Good luck, you could always try The Alcohol Experiment and see how you get on.

Op I was drinking around 30 units a week over 3 nights, so I didn’t drink every night because I get up at 5am on the days I work, but I can’t ever just have A glass. It’s all or nothing with me.

We tried dry July last year and failed by drinking 4/5 times then, come August, just went straight back to drinking. Weirdly I don’t miss it but I think it was just making me feel so awful and I just don’t want to feel like that anymore. Since stopping I’ve restarted yoga and I’m back to doing C25K. No way could I do that with drinking because I just didn’t have the energy.

I haven’t replaced it with anything really. I think the taste of AF wine/beer would make me want the real stuff. I am trying to deal with my craving for sweet stuff -wine is full of sugar after all-by eating low cal ice lollies rather than chocolates/biscuits and I will get to grips with the sweet cravings once I’m confident I won’t reach for the Chardonnay.

On a previous-half hearted-attempt to reduce drinking I read:
“Nobody ever regrets not drinking”
and it’s true. You don’t ever wake up in the morning and think ‘God I wish I’d drank a bottle of wine last night’.

Good luck op.

Well yes, someome I know has just literally drank themselves into a coma so... there are many good reasons to stop

I’d been worried about my drinking for a fair few years, same as others I was all or nothing, drinking a bottle of wine most nights sometimes more. The switch finally flicked for me mid May. I just stopped. I love being sober, I just get flashes of happiness, this is after years of Anhedonia which I’m taking ADs for.
There is just so much more to each day, feel like all the time I craved to myself when I was drinking and juggling work as a single parent I now have. I’m more patient, calmer, clearer headed and for the first time in what seems like years I feel hope and excitement for the future.

Thank you all for taking the time to message. As per my OP I've read so much about the benefits online but I wanted to hear from real people the differences it's made to them as individuals - so I really appreciate you responding. I think I will start by doing a dry August and take it from there. I'm hoping I'll start to see some of the benefits you have mentioned and that not starting drinking again will then be a bit of a no brainer for me. Thanks again.

I stopped last October. I’ve lost 1.5 stone, my face is no longer puffy (I looked quite bloated in pics but never noticed!) skin smooth, look younger, cellulite has all but disappeared. Feel better- my anxiety which used to be through the roof has gone right down. I no longer wake up at 3am gripped with fear as I did when I drank wine 3-4 nights bc a week. No more worrying about what I did or said whilst tipsy, I know exactly what I’ve done and am sharp, focused and clear headed.
Finally the sleep! Oh wow the sleep is so much better and actually refreshing rather than feeling groggy with a vile pounding head the next day. Do it. You won’t regret it.

Check out Alan Carr’s book easy way to control alcohol. It completely changed the way I saw it.

I gave up over a year ago. I don't miss it. I did a bit at first but after reading Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck it was like a switch was flicked. The benefits:
I sleep better. I no longer have the shits every morning (sorry for TMI). My skin looks ten years younger (ok maybe 5). I no longer have palpitations, My anxiety all but disappeared. I no longer have mystery pains that make me worry about my liver. I have more money, my grades have gone up at university. I can drive any time day or night.
Socializing can still be tricky. I don't get tempted to drink and I've discovered that I can dance all night on nothing stronger than 7up. The tricky bit is when everyone gets pissed and lairy. I just say my goodbyes at this point. Oh I nearly forgot. No hangovers. They became very debilitating towards the end of my career.
Good luck OP. Its the best, most loving thing yoy can do for yourself.

I sleep better. I no longer have the shits every morning (sorry for TMI). My skin looks ten years younger (ok maybe 5). I no longer have palpitations, My anxiety all but disappeared. I no longer have mystery pains that make me worry about my liver. I have more money, my grades have gone up at university. I can drive any time day or night

All of this is spot on. Looking back I think WTF was I doing? Stumbling through life numbed in the evenings, then feeling like utter crap the next morning, that’s not really life at all, that’s just “getting through”. It’s not really living. I feel like I’m really living life now, not just trying to make it go quicker.

The biggest for me was no more mood swings and waking up in a good mood.

I’m going to do a dry August - it’s been too easy to drink half a bottle of wine on an evening. And then I zonk out but have a terrible nights sleep.

Thanks again everyone. I didn't have a drink last night but that's the first night in about 10 days as we'd had a week away and as it was a holiday I ended up having at least a glass every night. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to read these messages and I'm going to do so every evening if my resolve weakens.

I've not told DH yet about my plans to do a dry August yet as I worry he won't be as supportive as I need (he thinks I should cut down rather than stop). He's not a big drinker but likes a few drinks on the weekend. I think I need to get a few days in and then I'll tell him what I'm thinking.

Anyway thanks again for your messages and the message seems universally be that stopping has a positive effect. I thought perhaps I wasn't drinking enough for stopping to have a benefit but it sounds like I'm wrong on that!

I hope you woke up feeling amazing and it gives you motivation for your dry August.

I quit about six weeks ago. Omfg what a gamechanger! And I wasn't a heavy drinker, more a glass or two or a couple of beers or ciders most nights, but sometimes polishing off the whole bottle during lockdown as I was pouring a glass at 4pm and then going to bed later than usual. I feel like a different person! Mornings are a much more positive affair. No headaches and no regrets. I look and feel so much better in general. But more than that, it has given me so much more energy and motivation that I've stuck to eating healthily on a 16:8 diet and gone from 9st4 to 8st10, started doing yoga and stuck to it. I've had more energy and put in more effort to keeping house and getting organised. I feel strong and lean and happy! Life is better!

Hi @WelshMammy123 ,
I am also trying to cut down , so I have have only had 3 single ( carefully measured ) rums this month , my normal go to is cider and I would have 2 cans most week week nights but it would rocket on Friday and Saturday.
I wake up feeling much better , and always hungry which I did not realise i did not do before,
There is no denying it is hard some days but if you can get past your trigger time / or the situation that makes you want a drink after the first few times it gets easier.

I dont plan to give up completely , I just want to reset the way I think about alcohol.
If you are going to try AF drinks I recommend;
Brewdog - Nanny state , Punk they also do Lost but I havent tried that one yet
Adnams - Ghostship
Stowford press AF cider
I dont drink wine often so I have only tried one , eizberg (sp?) red I did not like it .

There is another thread on here you could hop on , we are all trying to help each other cut down / quit some with more success than others but it is very non-judgemental.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3945191-stopping-drinking-for-a-while?msgid=98695510 .

Finally I would recommend you get one of the many apps out there so you can keep a track of your dry / drinking days it gives me the motivation to keep on track , this is the one I use .( it works all year round )

alcoholchange.org.uk/get-involved/campaigns/dry-january/get-involved/the-dry-january-app

I stopped for 2 months during lockdown. Total waste of time. If you don't drink much normally stopping is a pointless. Also I did not lose an ounce

I used to drink around 3/4 strong beers each evening Friday - Sunday. If I had Prosecco, I’d drink the whole bottle in an evening plus a strong beer. I could absolutely smash back pink gin (no measures) and lemonade. At times of stress this would creep into the week. When I quit I was drinking around 4/5 days per week regularly. I have quit for 112 days, and so far have noticed many benefits:

• Increase in energy (after the first couple of weeks). I actually feel happy to be awake at 7am every morning. I always thought I wasn’t a morning person.
• Much more tolerant and patient. Noticeably so when the kids are arguing.
• Have lost 10 pounds (mainly to do with booze). Beer belly has gone right down.
• Anxiety and low moods greatly reduced (have started to eat healthy food to boost mood and drink lots of water).
• Blissful sleep (after the first few weeks).
• Saved money.
• My skin looks youthful, despite me pushing 40. Bags under my eyes have greatly reduced.
• I seem to be tanning more and burning less. Not sure if this is linked to not drinking or not. DH keeps making comments about my tan. I don’t get a tan like this even when I’m abroad.

It takes a while to notice the benefits, but it has been well worth it. I no longer worry about not drinking in the future. I don’t crave it like I did in the first few weeks. I’m very happy to be free of it. Hope this helps, OP.

You will just feel so much better. Any stressful situation I always think “at least I’m not hungover”. I work in hospitality where I see people turn up, order bottles of Prosecco excitedly but then as the afternoon / evening goes on they start bickering with each other or just become annoying with the staff, too friendly, repetitive etc. I don’t want that to be me. It was me, but not anymore.
My face isn’t puffy anymore, I’ve lost a stone and I’ve not smoked (I only every want to smoke when I’ve been drinking then I always regret it) is my skin and hair is better from that too. I was never a “problem drinker” but I think that’s a problem in itself, all drinking is bad for you.

Yes definitely. The benefits are enormous. Some things take time though. It's worth sticking with.

I regularly have periods of abstinence and enjoy them. They are getting longer now as I cut down more and more. Next week I'm going on holiday with DH, the DCs and my parents. We'll be a sober house as my DH is in recovery from alcohol (and doing amazingly well), my mum's teetotal as her dad died from alcohol related issues and my dad isn't fussed.

A couple of years ago I'd have been horrified at the thought of a sober holiday but I'm really looking forward to it. Time in the evenings to read, enjoy board games, cook meals in the cottage. Early morning swimming in the sea. Feeling fresh and rested.

I do have a hedonistic streak and every few weeks I buy a bottle of wine and enjoy it but in the long term I drink less and less

I stopped 7 months ago, started with Dry January and enjoyed the challenge so I decided to go to 100 days and after 100 days I was like "well, I'm perfectly fine so let's just keep going".

Benefits are:
Physical:

• better sleep
• no hangover. Sounds obvious but it doesn't get old.
• better skin
• more energy

But the physical benefits are far outweighted by the mental benefits

• brain space. You get your brain back! I don't need to worry about my drinking anymore. I don't have to count units, I don't have morning anxiety over what I said / did / did I walk the dog / how much was the Uber ride back home / where's my phone?
• Morning are glorious. I never woke up in a bad mood since I quit. Never. I may drop a mug of coffee on the kitchen floor, I'm still gonna be in a good mood. I think I'm annoying, good thing I live on my own.
• I have way more clarity around who I am, what I want from life, and I have the energy to work towards that. I don't feel like I'm the hamster in the wheel anymore. Since I quit, I got promoted at work, and am in the process of buying a flat. I wouldn't have worked towards that before.
• I have fun. I genuinelly have fun. Fun that I remember and deeply enjoy because I'm 100% present now.
• I'm more curious, I don't feel awkward anymore when I meet new people. I have deeper connections with my family and friends now.
• I've discovered that we give alcohol WAY TOO MUCH credit. Social moments are fun and enjoyable because they are social moments. It's just that we're not used to experience them sober.
• Better self-esteem. I treat myself like a princess now.

Other benefits are:

• I can cycle everywhere all the time. I don't have to worry about getting a Uber back because I had too much to cycle.
• I saved loads of money, no one expects you to pay a round when you don't consume alcohol.

It's not easy at the beginning, especially in social situation (I was a social drinker) but each event is a milestone. First time you feel awkward, then the next time a bit less awkward, then a bit less and so on.
Now I'm genuinelly looking forward to a social event because I'll see my friends and won't have to worry about my drinking.

Recently, I went to the office to meet some colleagues for the first time since march, they were having a beer, I had a San pellegrino, it was such a lovely moment, I felt so relaxed and happy. I didn't have the empty-glass dread or restlessness, that moment when you're like "Oh are we going back home? Really, not even a small one? Who's up for another one?"
I just went back home, without any FOMO.

There are downsides though

• loads of places don't have much to offer in terms of non-alcoholic drinks.
• it's easy to judge people who drink. I make a conscious effort to look at my thoughts and to not judge people.
• You generally leave parties a bit before other people, because you're getting genuinelly tired and ready to go to bed. Some might call you a killjoy.
• You realise that you have more time. It's a very good thing, but you have to be intentional about what to do with that time.
• You have to deal with yourself and your emotions. Sometimes (often) it's not pretty. This is the most interesting part of the work thoigh. Without that, you just abstain, using willpower (which doesn't work), but you don't grow.

I've read a very interesting book about how alcohol interferes with our mental state, it's Alcohol Explained by William Porter.
Also read few the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, The Naked Mind and Quit like a Woman, all very good, but Alcohol Explained really gave me a new perspective of what was at work with alcohol.
I also read The Idiot Brain, which isn't about alcohol, but just about quirks of our human brain, it's fascinating to finally understand how our desires and habits work, and that we're actually in the driver's seat if we pay enough attention.

And I'll finish by saying that I wasn't a heavy drinker, never hit rock bottom, had a high-functionning life, so quitting alcohol wasn't a life-saving decision. Well, anyway, the benefits are immense and way above my expectations.

Great post @FastFood - everything you've said resonates with me.

Awesome post @FastFood - really inspiring. I’m at an early stage of quitting but have done it for all the reasons you have listed. I was in a similar position to you, no big problem but alcohol was taking too much energy and headspace.

Thanks so much for posting