Finished 30 days. Need some moderation rules

[BrassicaBabe]

So I've finished the 30 Day Experiment. Did well and the whole lot AF. Difficult at first of course, but I survived. Sleeping better is the main improvement. Boring DH family events as lockdown eased where the hardest ones! Alcohol definitely numbs the boredom!! 🤣

I also enjoyed the lack of "push/pull" thought out the day while I wrestle with my wine plans for the evening before giving in.

So today is day 31. And I'm already fighting the urge.

I don't want to be t-total. I really fancy a glass of wine though. If I have one tonight I wonder if that's the beginning of having a glass (bottle!) every day again.

I need some new rules for my moderation approach. Does anyone have any advice?

Well, some people set days of the week when they are allowed to drink. There's a 2+2 rule; 2 drinks, 2 days of the week and I do have one friend who sticks to it religiously.

I set all kinds of rules in the past; drink less but better quality, only certain days, only in company... I broke them all. I now don't drink at all and it's much easier than trying and failing to be a moderate drinker.
30 days isn't long enough to re-set established neural pathways so you may well find that you return to your previous patterns.

But good luck, if I could have done it I would have, it just wasn't something I could do.

Thanks.

30 days isn't long enough to re-set established neural pathway hmm. Maybe you are right. I've found yesterday and today more or a mental battle than days 1-30.

I don't want to go back to previous levels. Not vodka for breakfast, but 3/4 bottle of wine a day, every day. So certainly not heathy!

I am conflicted. I can certainly see that being AF removes all the mental argument. And I've enjoyed that lack of mental argument during the 30 days.

If you are having to try that hard to moderate you are on the verge of a problem imho. How about just drinking weekends and see if you can stick to it for a month.

Honestly? Listen to what @Drybird2020 says about neural pathway settings and so another 30 days dry before revisiting.

If you’re still needing to set strict rules, you’re still struggling, and you do sound it TBH. Good luck.

Out of curiosity, how long would you say it takes to reset neural pathways? I'm not a heavy drinker really often, but when I have one I then find it hard to stop...

So I tend not to drink at all. I haven't had a drink in about 3 months but still wrestle with it with the "push and pull" style often... just wondering if anybody has any insight?

You won't find a definitive answer to that, @LightPizza. There's a school of thought that says any degree of alcohol use creates a dependency, and the longer you go on using alcohol and the more you drink, the more dependent you become.

I visualise my neural pathways as a well used footpath. If I don't travel it for a while, it will get a bit overgrown, but as soon as I walk that way again, it quickly goes back to the way it was.

Some people do seem to be able to re-set after a longer break from booze, and that's why 100 day breaks like Sober Spring have become popular. For others, like me, the old habits come back very quickly, and even more strongly than before. Annie Grace is good on this, I recommend her stuff.

Hi BrassicaBabe and well done on 30days that’s a great achievement. My advice on moderating? What about:
Only drink on weekends
Only drink when out with friends
Only drink with restaurant meals.
Only drink expensive wine.
Only drink 4% cider.
Only drink one bottle of wine a week.
Only drink 14 units a week.
Only drink 2 drinks, 3 nights a week....

The problem is, none of them worked for me and it crept back up in no time. Have you tried moderating before? I’m afraid many of us find it’s no easier even after a month where we truly think we have ‘learned our lesson’ Best of luck to you with it though.

You need to not drink for longer. Thirty days is not enough, and you will probably go right back to where you were a month ago. I think you need to really come to grips that alcohol is a problem for you, and it may be that you will never be able to drink in moderation.

That being said, you should be enormously proud of your progress so far. You will only keep feeling better and better going down your current path.

Thanks all. Sadly I think by personality type I'm an abstainer not a moderator. And that goes for things other than alcohol like dieting. I cannot eat a few crisps and put the bag away. I'm "no crisps, don't open the bag and preferably don't have them in the house. OR open the bag and then eat the entire multipack"

Ok. So I also think 30 days isn't long enough. For now my next goal is to wait until I've lost another 3lb and maintained it there. Will have to have another think once that's achieved.

Currently my thinking is
Never drink as a reaction to stress or to aid relaxation.
Maybe drink one night a week. And stop with the cheap rubbish. I actually like naice wine but when I'm drinking half a bottle a night I'd drink something cheaper.

Well done @BrassicaBabe for 30 days. I'm like you, I am a better abstainer than moderator. I agree with most people here. Stay AF for another few weeks and then revisit your feelings around it.

Rules don't really work for me. Once I set a rule I'm almost guaranteed to rebel against myself!