Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Help with nephew aged 20 splitting the family apart due to alcohol

3 replies

Lotty32 · 28/06/2020 15:36

Would love advice please. My nephew won't admit he has a problem with alcohol (is he an alcoholic - not sure). Has got so bad that my SIL can't go home this week as the atmosphere is so bad. She needs some advice please on the best way to get him some help (when he doesn't want it!)

OP posts:
Anon9990 · 28/06/2020 16:04

It will be very difficult to get him help if he is not willing to accept it - if atall possible.
People with addictions need to want help and unfortunately it can’t be forced on them unless they are deemed unable to make decisions for themselves

AFitOfTheVapours · 28/06/2020 19:53

Hi OP. Sorry to hear you/your sis are going through this.
How old is your nephew?

I’ll take a leap and guess he’s definitely an alcoholic if things are getting this desperate. Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing you can do To make him get better if he doesn’t want help and assuming he’s an adult. I know that’s horrible to hear but it is the first, second and last thing you need to understand, even though it’s a horrendous thought.

The first thing is to protect your/your sister’s own sanity. If you haven’t already, Get educated on the problem, particularly around enabling and codependency. There are some really important pitfalls you need to avoid. Alanon would be worth considering (sister org to Alcoholics Anonymous and supports families). Your sis may have to make some really tough decisions for a mother if she wants him to get to a point of wanting help (e.g. cutting off any financial help, asking him to leave her house).

It sounds as though you have already tried talking to him and it hasn’t gone well. I’m afraid the NHS addiction services are massively underfunded and the best help is private, if you have the funds. He would still have to accept help, though. You could try an intervention. Ideally, you’d want to be really well organised for this and some of the private rehab centres can help with this, if you have the means. Private funded help would include outpatient or inpatient rehab. For NHS, you’d need to get him to your GP as a starter.

It’s a hard road and he’s unlikely to stick with it unless he truly wants it.
Good luck!

Lotty32 · 28/06/2020 20:45

Many many thanks a fit of the vapours (don't know how to put that in bold like others do!)
Very useful and helpful advice. I think I knew the answer but just wanted to check i wasn't missing anything!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.