Can't seem to get past the thought that I'll be boring without it

[TheOriginalNutty]

About 3 years ago I stopped drinking. At the time I said it was for good but in the end I did 4 months and then started drinking again.

I stopped because although not drinking daily or sometimes even every week, I'd lost my ability to know when to stop and was doing things and behaving in a way which I definitely wouldn't if not drunk.

I didn't mind the not drinking at all, didn't find it hard until it came to social events. In these situations I've always used it as a crutch. I'm a naturally shy person and alcohol has always helped me come out of my shell a bit.

Anyway, since starting to drink again it has slowly increased back up to what it was, again not in frequency, but quantity when I do drink.
Even if I give myself a set limit I always break it and always end up doing stupid things.

I've asked a couple of friends who I know would be honest if they think I'd be boring without it and they've said definitely not. I am more confident nowadays but I worry people will think I'm boring for not drinking.
It's pathetic really as I shouldn't care what they think but I do.

How have you navigated social events without alcohol ?

My mindset is if they don’t like me when I’m sober perhaps it will be time to find new friends. Nobody should have to drink for people to like them. Drinking never makes you smarter or funnier. If you’re boring when you’re sober chances are you will be a rambling boring drunk. I’ve found there is always one boring drunk at office Christmas parties.

Have you read The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley OP? If not, then order it right now xx

That is very true heatseeker and actually I know that my friends would support me if I said I wanted to give up the booze.

I've not seen that rising sun but I'll have a look now.

Thanks both

I think your social skills will begin to develop and you will begin to relax. Initially you will have to make more of an effort but it will become normal. Drunks are boring and repetitive. They are the boring ones.

I don’t think anyone was every made more interesting by being drunk. For every person who becomes chattier there’s another one who becomes more obnoxious. Then of course you have the one re-hashing the toxic relationship or crying “ but why.....” now THATS boring. . If you’re drinking too much then you’re storing up health problems for yourself down the line. If you don’t want to be boring DO things... read lots, go to interesting events ( when we can), listen to podcasts, have an opinion. Don’t worry about the opinions of other people ( who’s to say they’re interesting anyway)

Most people are a lot more boring when they are drunk. They just feel like the life and soul. If you go to parties or out clubbing a lot, why not just learn to get really good at dancing? That way you can feel like yu are really having fun but just sip water all night if you want. No one calls the person on the dance floor boring at parties. But tbh, staying sober is way, way more important than other people's opinions of you socially.

I can get on a dance floor sober now!! I NEVER would have thought this possible! It's important not to be boring, you have to make a bit of an effort.

The couple of alcoholics that I've known at all well were much more pleasant and interesting and witty when sober.