Starting out..:

[loopylindazdaughter]

Can someone please tell me where to start? I strongly suspect I’m an alcoholic. I have a good job, 2 young children and a husband: he doesn’t know how I feel nor do I think he thinks it’s a problem. He doesn’t drink and if I’m honest he probably only thinks I’m having one, maybe two glasses. I top up very discreetly, and never seem to get drunk or act differently.

I’ve been drinking all my life but very badly for about 5 years following a trauma. It’s gone from a glass or 2 of wine to quite often a bottle, a very disturbed nights sleep, waking up moody and irritable, silently vowing to have a night off, but then giving up on that feeling and starting again about 6pm. Lockdown has made it worse, with my usually tea total husband enjoying a couple of lagers so have one or two of them before I start on the wine.

I want to stop but don’t know how. Where to start.

In an ideal world I’d like to stop during week and enjoy a drink or two at the weekend but I’m not sure this is doable...

Any reading materials, resources, tricks you found useful?

Bump :(

So although I know no ones responding thought I might just add too and maybe jot down my journey in a bid that maybe I can help others.

So today I've been painting fence panels and listening to some good stuff. I started Allen Carr's how to control alcohol then also added in a podcast from Lee Davy. Found him abit raw and down to earth but looks like her covers some good points.

So only Day 1, sat in bath now with a glass of cordial instead of my usual first glass of wine.

I never drank in the day so I've not really achieved anything up to yet, tonight will be the first hurdle.

Hi Loopy, just found your post. How did last night go? I can recommend Annie Grace and Kate Bee. Annie Grace runs a free 30 day Alcohol experiment which is really good and she has lots of talks on YouTube. She explains the nature of addiction very well and is very calming. I have been experimenting between giving up and moderating over the past 6 months. I managed sober October and dry January and was off it again from start of March but have taken a backward step as I am not coping with the stress of Coronavirus. I have 3 drinks a night most nights of the week when drinking. This is enough to give me a bad nights sleep and a sickly stomach in the morning but I still do it! . I find it very hard to have an evening sober if I’ve had a drink the night before, which sounds like where you are too. How are you feeling about it today?

I didn’t really answer your post fully: for the periods I have been sober I found the following helpful:
Keep busy at your weakest hours. This is 6.30-8pm for me.
Eat dinner earlier- I find pre-dinner drink the hardest to resist.
Don’t try and diet etc at same time. It’s tough enough going AF.
Don’t keep drink you can’t resist in the house if possible.

Stock up on nice alternatives. I like Becks Blue, very well chilled. I also keep in lots of Fanta and Coke as ‘comfort drinks’
Try and get your DH on board to help you. Sadly mine hasn’t been much help.

Avoid planning meals you associate strongly with drinking wine.
I hope this helps!

Thanks so much for replying!

Monday night went fab, it didn't really bother me at all and felt super proud. Had a bad nights sleep but woke up headache free and yesterday turning out to be super productive. However about 5pm yesterday we got chatting with neighbours and all ended up having a few old mout ciders :( I had one and then 2 glasses of wine.

It's just this time, I'm thinking it's just a bad one for trying to go tee total.

I think I may just fill myself with information and really concentrate on moderation until all this is over.

Thanks for the literature, I've loads of credits on my audible so will get them downloaded x

iamyourequal has given good practical advice.

I don't agree that this is a bad time to start - with reduced opportunities for socialising it's in many ways a great time. But you have to be ready on the inside and you don't sound like you are there now. This isn't a judgement, but an observation I feel able to make, having been there. Your description of your drinking pattern is very like what mine was. It took me a long time to be ready to quit, and numerous failed attempts at moderation, and a few full starts. I'm coming up to 100 days sober (tomorrow!) and it's the best decision I've ever made.

When you are ready (and I hope you will be!) come and join us on the long running sober thread. It's a total abstinence zone, for people who can't do moderation, and want to quit all together.

congratulations Drybird2020 100days AF is amazing. Something I dream of managing this year. I will pop over to the sober thread to congratulate the others on 100days!
Loopy, well done for Monday. When you string a few days like that together you will feel so proud of yourself, believe me! But seeing as you are not quit ready to quit for good yet, (like me at this time) you might benefit from using one of the drinking apps, so that you can keep an honest record of exactly what you are drinking. This will also let you monitor how moderating works for you. I have a complete log of every drink consumed since last October. This is hard evidence I keep so that I’m not kidding myself about how much I drink and to help me plan my future.

F
Well done op on tackling this I wish you all the best.
I too started drinking more than I should (and comfort eating) following a trauma 2 years ago. I’ve gained over stone since then and look like a different person now 😞 I want to tackle the drinking so badly I’m not quite there yet but am definitely opening up to it.
Good luck op xxx