Struggling

[OkPedro]

I’ve been sober for almost 5 months. I had been drinking every night for as long as I can remember. I was in a bad way. Self loathing, anxiety, panic attacks. Over weight, high cholesterol.. all the good stuff!

I did a Librium home detox under my gps care.

The first few weeks I felt great. I felt so relieved to be sober. I could see the benefits within days. I wondered why I hadn’t stopped sooner.

However here I am 5 months on and all I can think about is drink. I want to get drunk. I want to block out the boredom. The worry of covid19.. being stuck at home with two children. Who are great but tiring

I always used drink when I was happy, sad angry. It’s so hard to manage emotions sober but I have being doing it for months now.

I just want the thoughts to stop. I know thoughts can’t make me take that first drink. I know I won’t enjoy the drink after the first sip. BUT I still want to drink.

Fuck fuck fuck

I won’t drink
I won’t drink
I won’t drink

[Northernsoullover]

Are you a Facebook user? I'm in a fab group and we are all feeling the same! I'm over a year without too. I won't drink but I certainly wanted to over the last month.
The thought of having anxiety induced by alcohol AND Coronavirus is too much. The group is called The Unexpected joy of being sober. Named after the book.

[OkPedro]

Thanks northernsoullover
I am actually on that group

[Northernsoullover]

That's brilliant. I don't know whether you post regularly but if you are struggling please say something. There are people there who are a kit wiser than me
.

[Drybird2020]

I hope you found some useful support on your Facebook group.

One thing I read recently that stuck with me, is that thinking about drinking isn't drinking. You're only drinking when you are actually rasing a glass to your lips and swallowing.

This is a really shitty time and thoughts of drinking are bound to arise for the reasons you identify - I know they have for me. Talking about it helps. Revisiting the quit lit and the strategies helps. You can do it.

[OkPedro]

Thanks @Drybird2020

Feeling a lot better the last couple of days.

I had been going to counselling before the lockdown and I was really feeling the benefits of it.

The service I was using deemed me low risk so I didn’t qualify for Skype or phone counselling.

I’m rereading “the unexpected joy of being sober” and I’ve ordered Annie grace “naked mind”

I’ve just got to keep going and remembering why I stopped drinking in the first place.

Sending positive thoughts your way 😁

[JollyHostess]

If you're interested in trying AA there are online meetings now (using Zoom). Worth a try even if you decide it's not for you. At least for that hour you won't want a drink.

[OkPedro]

Thanks jollyhostess
I haven’t tried AA. Think it might be time I check it out. Thank You 🙏

[JollyHostess]

You're very welcome.
Be very kind to yourself, this is not easy.