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Alcohol support

Alcoholic DFIL heating on in HEATWAVE no HYGIENE pls help

2 replies

LottieDottie · 20/04/2019 11:24

Arggg I dont know where to start, my DH - using that term v lightly.
Seems to think its not a big deal as " Dad has always been that way"

So my DFIL is currently living with us, he had a bad time with getting over the flu at christmas and is still here!?!!

Normally Its not a big thing, dont get me wrong he is a decent fella keeps himself to himself, no trouble at all...... EXCEPT
For his drinking and lack of hygiene.

Yesterday we came back from a mini day out in the sunshine, left at 10am - DFIL still in bed. Walked in to house, which was hotter than greenhouse no windows opened. Went into kitchen which is a really large room... The fecking gas fire was ON FULL BLAST!!! DFIL was sitting right infront of it, reading his papers and chuffing on his ecig.
I nearly passed out from the heat and smell - (WASHES ONCE A WEEK)
He said he was freezing cold felt rough, (he did look rough. ) the heating had been on for nearly 8 hrs!

He drinks 2/3 times a week, has 4 pints of stout at pub comes back and has at least 1 or 2 cans/ bottles. He basically opens them pours his pint then necks it like he's just been rescued from the dessert. I dont think he even tastes it, thats how fast he chuggs it!
Worked out he's averaging 18.2/20 odd units a night.
Sometimes he goes out every night, and that's easily 100 units a week.

When I get up in the morning the smell on the landing is disgusting it reeks of stale beer/ sweat - he sleeps with door ajar. He refuses to open window during day.

He's in his early 70's, and apparently has always only washed ONCE A WEEK! Brushes his teeth/ false teeth TWICE a year. Wears the SAME clothes all week, yes including underpants.
I've had to refuse to do his laundry, he gave me under pants/ long john things that were soo dirty smelly and SOILED , that I nearly threw up.
And after having 2 kids - thinking you've seen/ smelt and dealt with it all... Well...
I mean a grown man!?? Excuse the swearing but wtfff.

So basically he drinks like theres no tomorrow, ends up all grumpy and arsey to everyone, gets cross really easily with the grandkids, looks like death warmed up - soo bloody pale and his hand shakes soo much.
He's giving uo ciggs so puffs on disgusting ecig thing that stinks and fills room with soo much " smoke" even he complains that he cant see the tv screen thru it. He is going deaf so the tv is always on at least level 48 !!
He doesnt wash, refuses to wash or change his clothes, he doesnt even wash hands after going to the toilet! And he sniffs!! Like you can hear it 2 floors up!!
I am going mad and running out of Anti Bac spray.
DH doesnt seem to notice or really care. Stuck at home with him and the baby ALLDAY is driving me mad - not the baby -
I am seriously worried about his health and my mental health.
He refuses to listen to me about his drinking saying I am over reacting.
But surely having the heating on in a heatwave and feeling soo sick is not normal!?
Sorry for rant but I am at wits end.

OP posts:
Mountian · 22/04/2019 09:07

That sounds truly awful.

Why can't he go back home? Where did he stay before he came to you?

CardinalCat · 24/04/2019 22:13

To misquote a well worn Mumsnet phrase- you do not have a DFIL problem, you have a DH problem.
Your dh needs to put a stop to this behaviour which is completely unacceptable. If he is cold despite the recent clement weather then he should be seeking urgent medical advice. Your house, your rules, which should include regular washing of body/ teeth/ clothes and other basic hygiene, no more indoor vaping, no being drunk or hungover in front of grandchildren, and not having the chuffing heating on in summer! It's your home, not a frat house. How old are your kids?
What is dfil's medical prognosis- and why can't he go back to his own house? It's one thing looking after a sick relative in need, but it sounds like you are being taken for a ride.

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