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Alcohol support

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Original poster

My husband is married to an alcoholic.

18 replies

MissConductUS · 05/04/2019 00:01

But fortunately for him, I celebrated 25 years of sobriety this week.

We have two great kids and have had quite a happy marriage for 22 years. We met when I had been sober for about a year.

I'm just putting this out there to reassure you that it does get easier over time and that it is totally possible to live a full and happy life without alcohol.

The best advice I can offer is to not try to do it alone. There's no shame in asking for a ladder when you've fallen down a well.

OP posts:

BlueSaphire · 05/04/2019 00:04

Well done you, and here's to the next 25 years.

JenMumma · 05/04/2019 00:05

Redshoeblueshoe · 05/04/2019 00:06

Well done 🌟
Here's to the next 25

OhioOhioOhio · 05/04/2019 00:06

Yay. But why just quite a happy marriage?

hellosis · 05/04/2019 00:08

Bloody fantastic!!!!
Well done you

Original poster

MissConductUS · 05/04/2019 00:38

But why just quite a happy marriage?

And a post graduate degree and a good career too. I mentioned the marriage because relationships are often problematic for people with alcohol use disorders.

OP posts:

Original poster

MissConductUS · 05/04/2019 02:12

Thank you all for the good wishes. 🙏🙋

OP posts:

DioneTheDiabolist · 05/04/2019 02:17

Fair fucks to you OP.
Well done and thanks for posting.

Whatad · 05/04/2019 02:24

Very kind of you to share.

gotmychocolateimgood · 05/04/2019 03:33

Well done! Amazing achievement! 🎉🏆🏅

OhioOhioOhio · 05/04/2019 07:18

Well very well done to you.

crosser62 · 05/04/2019 07:26

Ahh this has warmed the cockles this has.
It IS a bloody amazing achievement and every day must be a challenge to you op.

One of my dearest friends died due to alcohol abuse some years ago, I so wish that she had it in her to achieve this as I miss her (sober self) every day.

Original poster

MissConductUS · 05/04/2019 13:36

@crosser62 I'm so pleased it's warmed your cockles. Cold cockles are a poor way to start the day.

It IS a bloody amazing achievement and every day must be a challenge to you op.

The thought of drinking never crosses my mind and hasn't for many, many years. Alcoholism manifests physically and neurochemically:

Molecular basis of alcoholism

And psychologically. It's the neurochemical changes that present as addiction. That's why people experience withdrawal symptoms and cravings when they stop drinking. Those typically clear up within a month or two of stopping, but can be quite intense, dangerous and benefit from medical management.

The psychological aspect comes from how deeply people integrate alcohol into their lives, relationships and coping strategies. All of that has to be unlearned, and that's where peer support is so vital. It's really important to have others who have fought the battle and won there to show you that it's possible and how to do it. This part can take a year or more and the alcoholics who struggle in the long run or relapse haven't learned it successfully.

Everyone is different, but after a few years I was in full remission and it really hasn't been that much of a challenge. I do find it useful though to reflect from time to time how awful the addiction was and how it certainly would have killed me eventually.

OP posts:

79andnotout · 05/04/2019 19:38

Congratulations @MissConductUS

I'm at the other end of the scale and attended my first AA meeting this evening. It was a good group - I was pleasantly surprised. I'm on my way home to my lovely supportive boyfriend to tell him it was good and hopefully the Mr Hyde aspect of my personality gets squashed, one day at a time.

I'm a week sober today.

soberfabulous · 05/04/2019 19:41

Bloody amazing! I'm a year 3 months and it is a miracle. I love my sober life so much. People like you sharing your stories is what inspires me to keep going. Thank you.

Original poster

MissConductUS · 05/04/2019 21:10

Congratulations to both of you! @79andnotout - if your AA group has a women's meeting, try to go. Mine had a weekly women's meeting that I tried really hard not to miss. Also accept the fact that not everyone in your group is going to be an angel and that not everything AA teaches or tells you to do is mandatory or a good fit for everyone. We have a saying in AA in the US, "Take what you want and leave the rest".

I didn't have a sponsor most of the time and looked at the steps and most of what was in the big book as helpful but not up or down doctrine. I did just fine. I treasure my time in AA and the friendships I made there but after a few years I had learned everything I needed to know. So I no longer have a home group and I guess I posted this to celebrate my anniversary with other FoB's.

And, of course, to share my experience, strength and hope with anyone who would benefit from them.

OP posts:

79andnotout · 06/04/2019 07:07

Thanks @MissConductUS - good advice!

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 30/04/2019 14:50

Just saw this thread. Congratulations, MissConductUS! I recently celebrated a big AA birthday too. Sobriety is wonderful.

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