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Alcohol support

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Alcohol.....again

7 replies

Cathryn45 · 30/03/2019 13:38

Just wondered if anyone has any thoughts on this.... it's another alcohol one. My husbands's has always drunk a lot - in fact our courtship revolved around it. Over the last few weeks, however, it's become more and more excessive - 1 - 2 bottles of wine per night, every night, and more on the weekends. He doesn't drink in the day ( I think he thinks that means he's OK) but all activities revolve around alcohol - whether they will allow him access to alcohol, etc. He rarely has a night off. I've begged, pleaded , cajoled, encouraged, shouted. From time to time he cuts down, - stops mid-week, only buys bottles rather than boxes, etc, but he always reverts to the status quo. This 'cutting down' has happened maybe eight times over the last 2 - 3 years. I'm absolutely sick of him being pissed every night, unwilling to do anything interesting as he's fearful of not getting enough to drink, and lying next to an inert, leaden, stinking drunk. I moved out of our bedroom and into our stepdaughters' (now 20 and 22 - live 200 miles away with their mother) room about 5 weeks ago. I've told him that I'm not moving back until he goes to AA and stops drinking. I've booked a house in France for a week in the summer holidays and told him I want a separate room from him. He says he will only come if we share a room (we are going with other people and I think he's worried what people will think). I'm very happy to go alone with our son (14). He wants me back in our bedroom and says he is cutting down. I don't really trust he will do this and feel I should stick to my guns about stopping totally and going to AA. Any thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
ThespianTendencies · 17/04/2019 23:46

You are being incredibly strong. Well done, it shard dealing with an alcoholic dh (I have been there). They will use every way possible to justify their drinking. Stick to your guns .

Dapplegrey · 17/04/2019 23:49

Op please go to Al Anon. You will find help and support there from other people who have friends, relations and loved ones with a drink problem.

Se7ven11 · 19/04/2019 21:53

you have my sympathies... I think there really is nothing you can do to make him stop.. as previous Poster has said please try Al Anon
goid luck

Gottalaff · 27/04/2019 21:19

Thanks all for your comments - I really appreciate it. Interesting that they say the same thing.

Gottalaff · 27/04/2019 21:24

Just noticed my username has come up as Gottalaff. I am Cathryn45 - but I think I joined Musnet ages ago and had Gottalaff as my user name then. Just wanted to clarify in case anyone was wondering.

MorelikeCalzone · 29/04/2019 14:42

Sorry to hijack this thread, OP.

I've been worried about my DPs level of drinking for ages now.. so much so that I've gone completely tee total a) in the hope it will reduce his consumption (it doesn't) and b) as part of a healthier lifestyle for me. I choose not to smoke weed, take crack cocain etc... I now also choose not to drink.

So, as a mini project I've decided to completely ignore the empty wine and beer bottles whenever I take stuff to our recycling bin, in a bid to make my DP realise exactly how much they drink. It doesn't seem to be working but it's early days, maybe it will in time?

However I am doubting myself as to if DP does drink too much.....? This seems typical of the past week (I currently count 6 red wine bottles, 6 330ml bottles of larger) add to this typically a double gin and tonic each night and also a rare meal out together wher they drank 1 g&t, 1 bottle of red wine and a port and then at home a large brandy.

We rarely go out to dinner, so I would say thef only extra here was the port and thff brandy.

MorelikeCalzone · 29/04/2019 14:46

not that I've ever done drugs in my life! Just to clarify my post above

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