What are the roots of alcohol addiction? What's protective?

[Arewehumanorbones]

My sibling recently died due to long term alcohol abuse. We have lots of problem drinkers in the family.
I have small children and really worried that they might grow up to have a problem with alcohol.
Is there anything I can do that would help?
If you have a problem with alcohol addiction, what do you feel are the root causes?

For me, low self esteem

Thanks for your reply. Is there anything you feel your parents could have done differently that might have meant you didn't develop a problem with alcohol? X

Reading with interest as there is a lot of problem drinking in my ex's family (including my ex though he's teetotal for now). No one in my side drinks very much at all. I worry about the genetic links some research has found as I don't want my DC to have issues in future.

This isn’t scientific but I suspect that knowing family members have died due to alcohol may act as a protective factor for your kids. Also talking about addiction with them at an appropriate age.

I like a drink, and have not had a problem with alcohol. DH has, and no longer drinks. For him, the normalisation of drinking skewed perspective. All males in his family are heavy drinking plus his close group of male friends. Every social event revolved around getting hammered.

There are so many social triggers for drinking. A tough day at work means you deserve a glass of wine, especially on a Friday. When it's warm, a nice relaxing afternoon in a beer garden is very appealing.

I personally will raise my DS to understand about responsible drinking but also know how to relax, enjoy himself etc without alcohol.

Normalisation of drinking was definitely a feature of my childhood. - hours spent outside pubs with a bottle of coke and a book, not bothering our parents after work with anything until they had had a drink was a strict rule. Every evening they drank, and holidays they drank at lunch as well. I'm talking nice wine and a middle class / professional background as well, so heavy drinking but functional and "naice".
I used to drink too much, but as soon as I decided to start a family I stopped. Took a few false starts but I did it. I occasionally have one or two units once or twice a month now if that, instead of a shared bottle of wine twice a week,.plus the odd cider in summer. I still like a drink but can't cope with small children and the effects of alcohol, or the 5am starts, and I also don't want them to see me drunk. I used to hate seeing my parents drunk.
Obviously for my sib there was something more as he couldn't stop like I did despite trying a few times. But tbh he never really wanted to.
But there must be more to it than just normalisation of drinking alcohol?!

I believe there is some research that starting drinking early in life can increase your risk of problems with alcohol later on.

pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/AA67/AA67.htm

Interesting article. Thank you

From experience they are usually trying to drown their feelings.
The alcoholics I know vary from:
A loved one dying tragically
ADHD
Abuse in childhood
Unhappy marriage.

Sorry to hear about your sibling . I don't have a problem with alcohol addiction. DM did. DF rarely touched it. DB has issues. I did the usual binge drinking, worked in pubs in 20s. I probably have 1 or 2 a month now.

I would say a huge factor is sugar addiction, lots of sugary drinks at home, sweets etc., builds tendency towards alcohol.

Also trauma/undiagnosed developmental and social problems (adhd/autism).

I would say protective factors would be knowing the damage (physical, emotional) it can cause- either through personal experience or stories. The culture of alcohol in your home, your parents relationship with alcohol, parents disapproval of drunkenness, awareness of limits/education, how you handle stress, friends you have as teens/do parents know what you are up to/to some extent police it.

They say liver problems are increasing on NHS but I wonder if that trend will reverse - will drinking become less socially acceptable like smoking in next generation?

Also, and a huge one, positive self esteem , being able to resist social pressure.

I grew up with both parents that drank every night. My dad whisky from 8pm onwards. My mam drank Gin. My dad went to the pub Friday and Saturday nights (work shifts allowing) and on a Sunday lunchtime. I was used to seeing this as I grew up and it became the 'norm'.

I hardly drank alcohol through my late teens or my 20's. I started as I am a Borderline Personality Disorder and I find it hard to control. Mental Health Services won't touch me until I have 4 months sobriety under my belt. If they helped me then I wouldn't drink. It's a vicious circle. I am currently not drinking, and yet again another attempt to beat 'Winnie the wine witch'.

Most borderlines turn to addiction in some form or another. The two go hand in hand and most borderlines have suffered some form of childhood abuse.

I am not sure whether or not it runs in the family. You could say it is learnt behaviour but then for some seeing and growing up with parents that drink could put them off. My children are adults now and both of them rarely drink. It can go either way.

OP, first of all let me say I'm sorry for your loss.

I've been thinking about this too. My dad has been overdrinking terribly since my mum's illness and death.

I recently bought him the Allen Carr book (same guy who wrote the famous book that makes all smokers quit). I have no idea if he'll read it. But I read a summary of the book on reddit which you can also read here www.reddit.com/r/cutdowndrinking/comments/5flyhl/thoughts_on_allen_carr_the_easy_way_to_control/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

What is odd is that even since reading just that summary, not even the book itself, my own interest in alcohol has dropped substantially. I barely drank over Christmas. I really love booze and in the past have had problematic drinking episodes myself. But just seeing alcohol in a new light has flicked a switch somewhere.

I've long been suspicious of 12 step programs too. With their focus on using willpower to fight wanting alcohol, they set up participants to fail. A much more effective approach is to remove the desire for booze altogether; then the person isn't constantly undergoing a painful internal struggle.

Just my thoughts on the issue, I hope they help.