Friend in rehab - in an adult secure facility

[MrsMaisel]

I spoke with her and she’s quite distressed. She said she’s in a psychiatric hospital and that a patient in the next room had been strapped to the bed.
I’m worried for her - she needs help but is it possible she has been sectioned? If so what ramifications could that have for custody if she gets divorced? The marriage is on rocky ground. A sad situation.

[MrsMaisel]

I should add... she's in rehab for alcohol abuse

[Bombardier25966]

She will know if she has been sectioned or not. It would be unusual to go into an alcohol rehab unit without prior notice, did she know about this beforehand?

Where are the children now?

[MitziK]

She's likely to be a voluntary patient, as there's no point spending thousands on detoxing somebody who is going to buy three litres of vodka on the way home after discharge. Enough do that even when they want to detox (actual non using rates after five years was less than one in ten - more would have died [3] when I knew somebody who had put themselves in the system).

After detox, then there's Rehab. Which isn't an instant fix, as per the stats above.

Quite frankly, though, if she's needing specialist medical treatment to come off any substance, she isn't going to be the best person to have residence in any case. The diagnosis/alcoholism is the problem, not the type of admission.

[MrsMaisel]

She knew she was going in - she didn't want to, got drunk on the day she was meant to go... and ended up going the next day. Her husband and MIL have the kids with them. MIL out from O/S to care for them.

[Tiredeyes21]

She would be told if she had been sectioned OP... does she have children?

[Herja]

Is it Scotland? I've come across one combined rehab and psychiatric hospital in the highlands. It was very hard and he didn't stay as long as he should because he just wanted out. I hope your friend settles and is ok. She'd know if she'd been sectioned. I don't know about anywhere else, but there is definitely at least one shared facility, so I'd assume there are more.

[MrsMaisel]

What is the best care? It's awful to think this is something that will stay with her - her children are suffering and her husband seems helpless. In rehab it seems the program is all group based (one 1:1 counselling session a week). It's a month long program.

[Starlight456]

Alcohol abuse to the point of needing psychiatric admission is likely to mean she isn’t in a fit state to look after her children.

Who has the children now

[MrsMaisel]

I will ask her when we speak next. But I don't want to upset her either. England not Scotland.

[MrsMaisel]

She isn't in a fit state to care for them at the moment. The kids are with their dad and his mum.

[MitziK]

To be honest (again) if she didn't want to go, she's already made her choice to lose custody to her husband, as she's going to be drunk again the moment she gets out and is unsupervised.

The kids would suffer more being with her - and you can't help somebody who won't help themselves (no matter how much they might cry and say it isn't their fault/they're sad because they've lost their kids/their husband has gone - the simple fact is that it's a day with 'day' in the name is enough in their mind to justify their wish for incapable oblivion at the expense of all others).

[GoGoGadgetGin]

Why didn't she want to go in? Rather than thinking on the ramifications for her actually seeking treatment, is it not slightly more important to think of the ramifications for the children?

[MrsMaisel]

As to why she didn't want to go in, I'm guessing she didn't want to face the reality of her problem. Much as I would love to think that she can beat this immediately with rehab and for good, I understand that's unlikely.
MitziK, I understand what you mean - it is a selfish choice to get blind drunk - I'm trying not to be judgmental but for my part I couldn't ignore the obvious pain she is putting her kids through. I have seen her daughter crying and very upset about mum being drunk. So when she came round to my place drunk one evening, I told her it had to stop and called AA and after telling her husband where I was taking her, took her to a meeting. I think it would be worse for her kids to grow up with an alcoholic mother present than to be in their father's full custody. I do think she needs some help in getting help though. If I just watched from the sidelines any more, I expect eventually things would go from awful to unimaginable. At what point do people lose their families, their jobs and wind up on the streets. I don't see her as a high functioning alcoholic.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

If an alcoholic wants to stop drinking they will and if they don't they won't. If she chooses to stop drinking she is in the right place. Tbh i wouldn't have any contact with her until she is out, she will have to concentrate on her surroundings to try to get any benefit from it.