Help with helping someone trying to stop

[user1471529986]

I have been searching the boards for people who may be able to help me with helping my husband. Just really looking for advice and experience of people who have lived through or are living through life with someone who wants to stop, fails, tries again etc etc. Would be good to hear from anyone who has come out the other side together.

I'll be 2 years sober on Saturday through AA. It's the only thing that's worked for me and I tried other ways. Good luck.

3 years even! Still half asleep. Best 3 years of my life, love it.

You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it or cure it.

HE needs to take the decision and work to stop. Comes from him. Your top priority should be your own and any DCs’ wellbeing.

Al Anon might be helpful for you personally.

I tried to help someone but it was off drink back on off on off on and I just couldn’t do it in the end. Sorry I know that’s not what you want to hear.

I never had this person around my kids and I couldn’t have. If you have children, how are you able to protect them properly.

What Loopy said. Ultimately you can’t help him. He has to do it himself.

And the on off could go on the rest of his life. Do you want to live like that.

You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it or cure it.

This. You just have to protect yourself.

Thanks for your replies. This isn't a DV issue its a depression then alcohol then more depression issue. I just wondered if given this is an illness whether anyone has experience of the process of sticking by someone and seeing them recover. I see many posts about people in recovery and I wanted to hear from the partners of people who have made it. I totally understand it can't be done for them. This is more of what can I expect perhaps.

You cant do anything unfortunately. He'll reach his own rock bottom. This may or may not involve you leaving him. Some alcoholics lose everything while others don't. No one knows until they get there.

Does he drink when he’s depressed?