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Alcohol support

Can anyone with experience offer advice

3 replies

Needalittlehelpplease · 21/10/2018 20:43

Hi regular poster on other parts, didn’t realise there was an alcohol support section. Can anybody advise please?
My DS thinks her DH is probably an alcoholic. He has had a building problem over the last couple of years. Last time the drinking got really bad they resolved, he said he would control but not give up. He doesn’t think he needs to. He has never been violent, but can be verbally abusive. Both when drunk and sober. Seems to suffer on and off with a mild depression form what she can deduce, but also denies this. Time has passed and now under stress he has started again, estimate roughly 30 units a day. Morning, before work after work on way home and at home. Ds had said last time it peaked that she couldn’t see a future if he didn’t control it. Sadly it seems he can’t. He doesn’t think he is an alcoholic. They have small children and she is in love with her husband. I am worried that if he continues to escalate he could turn physical because he is already verbally abusive. I also worry she will have a life time of her life revolving around peaks and lulls in his drinking, and never really live without the problem popping up for long. I also worry about the effect this may have on the kids. I’ve suggested al anon for advice for him and his gp, last time he wouldn’t go. I’ve also suggested she go herself to get some support from others in similar position. Any helpful opinions would be really welcome. Thankyou.

OP posts:
b3stmum · 22/10/2018 10:29

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Bluntness100 · 22/10/2018 10:39

Reported the first post. No clue what rhe hell thats supposed to be,

Op, yes it seems he's an acholic if he's drinking in the morning and that much. He's not well.

There is not much she can do. Other than leave him, for the kids sakes. Growing up with an alcoholic parent is going to be very damaging for them.

She can't fix this. Only he can. All she can do is protect the kids and decide if she wishes to stay with him.

Needalittlehelpplease · 22/10/2018 21:48

Thanks for replying. I’m so worried for them all. It’s so hard to know what advice to give or what most people would say here having been through it. Half of me wants to tell her she is the priority and the kids and just get out, for the sake of their futures, and half knows she loves her husband dearly and that he is a good man underneath all this who has tried his best to get through a rough life. Only time will tell I suppose of he will be able to beat this. I don’t know if my advice should just be get out .I've seen other substance addictions with friends ruin their lives and the lives of people around them. And it’s been a horror to watch it unfold. He has had problems as long as we have known him, but I never saw this coming. I know there is nothing concrete anybody can give me to pass on to her. But it’s good to get a view point. Maybe the safest thing for her would be to go with the kids and give him space to recover, but only she can make her mind up about that. Thanks very much for your reply, it is appreciated.

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