Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

longest Don’t feel shamed. We all have our own things to deal with.

Longest..it’s all relative. As NC4 says, we all have our own shit in varying degrees.

We didn’t have to take her to hosp. She has a care plan that allows us to manage this at home with nebulisers and adrenaline. She settled really well so no need to escalate. However obviously, my adrenaline was on a frantic rush through my own body too, resulting in Pinot swimming through my veins!!
Woken with a headache this morn. Prob a bit of stress, tiredness and wine induced!!

Today’s a new day.....

Morning everyone - happy halloween and secondary school submission day for those that partake in either...

Can I join you please?

I (we including my DH) have let our evening wine habit get out of control (a lot). Am still fairly convinced I have done some permanent damage (I have health anxiety - hence the name - and am an expert at symptom spotting every disease/illness known to mankind).

Anyway, last Monday we decided to cut back so last week I was AF Mon/Tues/Weds/Thurs. Had wine on Fri/Sat. Then so far this week have been AF Sun/Mon/Tues. DH had wine last night - I wavered and was tempted but ignored. (as an aside I don't think he actually wanted the wine in lots of ways but...) I lurked on the brave babes bus for a while and they have a good phrase "play the film to the end" which worked for me last night. But I know there will probably be days when that won't work so I'm really not being smug.

So far the dry week days are going okay but am conscious am only half way through second week and I can hardly count this as a lifestyle rebooted! It will be interesting to see if my 'wet' days reduce further - either in number or just the amount of wine reduces... but thats getting ahead of myself.

I've read back a bit and hope to join in with you all.

Flossie - that sounds terrifying. How stressful it must be
NC4Now - wow, amazing and many many congratulations - do you feel like walking down the street and telling everyone you pass (I definitely would!)

HAhelp - I too have health anxiety. Which I think makes this ‘going Af’ thing hard. I drink to blot, then have this overriding guilt and fear over my health. It’s just crippling isn’t it. Really defines me. I spend my life googling!!
Well done on moderation/ having af days. That’s ace!!
As for the phrase ‘play the film to the end’. I haven’t heard that one before. It’s a great one! My problem is, I keep pausing the film!!

I’ve just gone into the kitchen to put dinner in the slow cooker. I thought, ‘I’ll put that last bit of red wine in the casserole. That’ll be lovely.... oh.’

So we are having wineless casserole because I refuse to buy another bottle.

DAMN!!!!!!

What does play the film till the end mean please? I've realised one of my triggers, as well as stress, is shyness. Most people think k of me as an extrovert because I'm pretty friendly but I clam up when I get to the stage beyond small talk and.feel k need a drink to actually engage with people. I must work on this somehow or at least stop at a glass.

Oh Flossie that sounds horrible - how is she today?

Well done NC4Now

Another not quite a win but better than normal day yesterday. My meeting ended early and rather than waiting for DH in a bar for an hour I decided to get the train home instead. Didn't have a G&T when I got in, didn't have wine whilst cooking or eating and just had a half glass of red whilst watching TV. So no AF days so far but I think I have had about 15% of my normal intake so that's got to be better hasn't it?

Am craving casserole now NC4Now! It will taste delicious am sure. Do you have any Marsala in the house? We tend to have a bottle of Masala and a bottle of Noilly Prat for use in cooking - that way we don't have to use up nice drinking wine buy a bottle specifically to cook with?

Lurking - 'play the film to the end' is about thinking through what is likely to happen if you have a drink, or one more drink, or open a second bottle etc
So play the film through in your head - what will happen, are you likely to stay up late, feel rubbish the next day, miss an event you've been looking forward to... It is a way I guess of projecting forward when you feel like you're wavering..
For me last night I thought "oh one glass will be fine and I've been sooo good so I deserve a treat" but in reality I may not have stopped at one, would have woken up this morning feeling guilty and rubbish. In reality the wobble didn't last very long at all so by "playing the film through to the end" I pushed the wobble back and abracadabra it had gone! (some people can just stop at one - as SuperD brilliantly demonstrates so you don't need the film - but other times I guess it helps to give you a reality check... It may not work for everyone.)

HAHelp normally I can't which is the problem. I was going to try to have nothing but was really looking forward to a drink so basically sipped it, then immediately got up walked DDog and went to bed. It really helps that DH is cutting down for his health. He has never really approved of how much I drink and with him only having a little I would have to get up and pour myself another glass just for me which I would have felt guilty about.

I think the film idea would work for me. I'll try tonight

Wow - what a lot has happened...

Welcome to everyone who has just joined (sorry - am trying to catch up with it all ATM).

HAHelp, the 'playing the film to the end' thing is a good idea. I will try it.

I had a whole bottle last night as I was so unspeakably miserable and fed up and sorry for myself. The result is that I've spent today feeling miserable and fed up and sorry for myself, with a hangover too. And yet it still crossed my mind that a drink might be nice when 6 o'clock rolled around (I had a vague feeling it might make me feel a bit more human). However, I have resisted.

I feel blobby and bleary and generally horrible.

Anyway. Flossie is the one who deserves all the hugs and today, I think.

One development is that I've made an appointment with a hypnotherapist next week. She was advertising half-price initial consultations, and is reasonably local, so I will give it a try. Anything is worth a go. I would say I can't afford to see anyone - but a hypnotherapist probably costs a lot less than the amount I have spent on alcohol over the past couple of years.

Oh Dion..that sounds a great idea. I’ll be really keen to hear about it as have thought about it myself before.
Well, I’m in same boat today. Have felt horrifically hungover. Rarely get hangovers but my head has been horrendous today!! So I’m af tonight too. Dh called me on way home from work and said he fancied a take away and a few beers. I said no to both!! Surprised myself!!

Ah Dion, you sound like I felt on Friday.

I saw a hypnotherapist in June to quit smoking and haven’t had one since. It wasn’t an easy fix but I am 110 days smoke free.

It’s possibly part of the reason I’m drinking more though 😕

I also had a full bottle last night, but despite a major plumbing emergency, a flooded kitchen and having to nip to the shop to get cash for the plumber I’ve managed to stay AF today.

Oh do let us know how you get on Dion. Do you have to "practice" hypnotherapy regularly (like a version of mindfulness) or is it embedded forever?
Blimey NC that sounds like quite a day! Hope not too much water damage?

No, luckily it was contained to the kitchen, where we have a tiled floor. I was under the sink with every bucket and towel on the house while DS isolated the hot water.
He’s 16 and just started a plumbing course. The plumber was impressed when he got here and so was I because the rest of downstairs is gorgeous wooden floorboards which would have been ruined.

I could have done with a stiff drink after that, but I demolished the Halloween sweets instead. Win 👍🏼

Hi to all newcomers, its nice to see you here. Encouragement not judgement is what this thread is all about, we all know where we want to be and that we drink probably too much but we don't want to give up completely.
Bank holiday here in France, was AF Monday but DP here since so have had a couple of glasses of wine each evening. Not running much after the marathon on Sunday so need to be careful with wine and what I eat whilst drinking it (lots of almonds and cashews!)
I did hypnotherapy when I decided to either give up alcohol or moderate, I'm sure it helped jumpstart the process and stay focussed. I'd like to go back and do another couple of sessions, I enjoyed the experience so go for it Dion!

Thank you Anglaise. I think I've moderated this week, and I did "play the film to the end" just now. I was AF Mon, Tue and wed and shared half a bottle with DH last night and same today. I had more than him but I resisted opening a second now he's moved on to whisky, which I don't drink. Tomorrow is Friday which will be a different story but so far so good

Just realised those days don't add up! Must have been sun Mon and Tue

Pissed as a fart tonight!! Exchanged on our house sale and purchase today so celebrating!!!! Been a stressy few weeks but haven’t wanted to talk about it here as didn’t want to jinx it!!

Congratulations Flossie! Are you moving far? X

Oh congratulations Flossie!! 🎉
I moved in June. Tense times, but so worth it. Time to start packing?

Hi
May I join pls ?
Really want to get out of the habit of drinking every night . It's pretty much a bottle of wine or several G&Ts now .
Recently had to go AF for 2 weeks due to meds and after the first night I was okay . I mean I actually felt liberated and fabulous so why can't I do it now ?
Please can anyone recommend an app or a motivational podcast or something I can listen to going I sleep or driving maybe ?

I would like to initially set a goal of not drinking Mon Tue and Thursdays ?
I know I can do it but as soon I as get in from work .... bang.... glass of wine 🍷
TIA

1large glass of wine last night. Better than normal.will try to keep posting on order to hold myself accountable.

Hi Tinkerbellx, welcome onboard. You’ll find this a friendly, supportive bunch. I’ve been here a week.
Have you tried the drink free days app? It’s for people wanting to cut down their drinking and lets you make a pledge to be AF a set number of days in the week.
It’s so easy to slip into finishing the wine. I’m convinced it’s the sugar as o don’t find other drinks as moreish, but maybe I’m kidding myself.
Two pints for me last night and home by 8pm. That would be ok if I hadn’t had wine earlier in the week.

Longest if you can get a couple of AF nights under your belt its a good start, well done. It is also difficult resisting when you have a DP who likes a drink in the evening! I live on my own so moderating is much easier, or was until new DP arrived and with him I like a glass of wine. But a glass as opposed to a bottle which I used to get through easily. I physically can't drink more than half a bottle now.
Flossie congrats on your house move! Is it far, will you be changing schools?
Tinker welcome, when I started moderating I used Alisa Franks hypnotherapy podcasts on alcohol, along with a few face to face hypnotherapy sessions. It all helped kick start the process. But you can't listen to hypnotherapy when driving, just in bed! Otherwise books I liked were William Porter's Alcohol Explained and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober which had a lot of good tips and was a good read too.
WrongWay one glass is better than one bottle so well done!

Yes generally I stick to two AF nights (not religiously though). I think my goals are to increase this so I don't drink much during the week at all and never have more than half a bottle. I can't decide though if this is really what I want or if a more modest goal is better. I want to feel healthier and less tired is my ultimate goal.