Any support groups that aren't AA or "12 steps" please?

[mummabubs]

Hi,

Will try to keep this brief. My dad has had problems with alcohol pretty much my whole life. When I was 17 I went to a couple of local AA meetings regarding this but didn't feel able to go again. I appreciate that they help others but I personally strongly disagree with the 12 steps mentality. I'm a professional who has worked within addiction services in the past and don't find it helpful to be told that I need to surrender to a higher power and accept that it's out of my dad's control, when this is completely counterintuitive to what I believe and what my professional training backs. However I do now feel the need to access some support for this IRL as I recently became a mum and have a newfound level of wanting to protect my baby from what I experienced growing up around alcohol.

Does anyone know of any groups that run that don't adopt the 12 steps/ AA mentality? I'm in South Wales if that helps. Thanks in advance x

Are you seeking help or your Father?

I would start with "quit lit" The Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. There are plenty of "getting sober" books available.

I respect your opinion on the 12 steps. However, can I just say from the child of an alcoholic who suffered long last damaging my DM finally got sober 10 years ago from the 12 steps, my DB an 18 year active heroin addict, finally got clean with a residential 12 step program.

I worry everyday I about my own Son, I desperately don't want to damage him or put him through the pain I went through, I hear you.

There is plenty of support on here too from people who don't follow a 12 step program and also many who do.

Whatever works for you good luck

Thanks for your reply, and sorry my post wasn't more clear! I'm seeking support for myself, my father has never sought support and even when he does say he knows he drinks too much he still doesn't wish to engage in any intervention. (And as I know all too well from work the motivation for change has to come from him). I personally didn't find the 12 steps mentality helpful for me in terms of support but I'm very aware that the program works for others. I've found my local Al-Anon group so if I can't find anything else I'll give them another go. Thank you x

Sorry @imsoboredwithitall I also meant to say I know and really appreciate the many people offering support via MN but I'd much rather have some support "in the flesh" at the moment if that makes sense? 😊 x

Absolutely understand. I would suggest meeting with an addiction counsellor in the flesh.

Al-anon also follows the principals of 12 steps.

I wish you the best. It's never too late & like you I don't want to make the same mistakes my DM did

The Naked Mind also does podcasts and live chats x

Sorry I meant to say Al -Anon is for relatives of alcoholics & addicts, not addicts themselves

Have you heard of SMART recovery? It's a strengths based approach that uses practical tools to cope with urges, maintain motivation, recover from relapse, etc. A quick Google for 'smart recovery wales' showed meetings in Caerphilly and Newport.

www.smartrecovery.org

Thanks @imsoboredwithitall, it was Al-Anon I went to years ago.

@CoCoCoconut that sounds like a good approach, although as I explained it's me I'm seeking support for (as a family member of the person with a drinking problem). My dad will not engage in any intervention, program or therapy. He's not even at a stage of pre-contemplation.

Oh I see! You are seeking help as a relative of a drinker? Not as an alcoholic?

Then yes Al-Anon is a great place and also counselling for you.

Forget the books I said! That was if you're a problem drinker.

Wishing you all the best

How you doing OP?

Ok thanks @todayiwin. Essentially this latest flair up had been due to my dad telling me he'd been drinking in secret (he lives at home with my mum 150 miles away from us). I said I felt mum needed to know, she now does. Just so emotionally draining and frustrating knowing that this will always be an issue in my and dad's relationship. Thank you for asking, it's tough.