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Alcohol support

I have a problem with alcohol... hand hold please

8 replies

BarryChuckle · 08/04/2018 06:59

Sorry if this is a bit rambly and doesn’t make much sense, I’ve been awake since 3am feeling guilty over my drinking and behaviour towards my DP because of it last night.

I cannot drink in moderation, once I open a bottle of wine, I will drink the whole thing in two hours max and then drink whatever else is in the house. This happens far more often than I would like.

I have recently found myself thinking about having a drink earlier and earlier or counting down the hours until an “acceptable” drinking time.

I cannot and have never socialised without alcohol apart from when I was pregnant and I hated every minute of it.

My mum had issues with alcohol through most of my life but has recently stopped and our relationship is so much better. I don’t ever want my DCs to go through what I did.

I’m unsure where I go from here, I did contact AA but on further reading on their website, I find the whole “higher power” thing not for me at all.

Any help/advice/hand holding would be great.

OP posts:
JellyBeanPaws · 08/04/2018 07:05

AA can come across as a bit daunting to begin with, but once you attend a few of their meetings you soon find that’s it’s not at all “religion forced down your throat garble” but a group of people, just like you, who want help and have taken that step.

I think you should seek support now before it’s too late? I am in alcohol recovery and have been sober and happy for coming on 4 years now. Best thing I ever did, I owe my sanity to AA. (And I’m still a normal person who doesn’t worship a Higher Power but understands the equilibrium of finding balance in life)

stellenbosch · 08/04/2018 07:11

Try this:

(Sorry, can't do links!)

This Naked Mind by Annie Grace

Really helpful

Good luck

BarryChuckle · 08/04/2018 07:18

Thanks for the replies and massive well done jellybean for being sober for four years. How did you take the first step to recovery if you don’t mind me asking?

I’m not sure I’m ready for meetings just yet.

OP posts:
Uggie · 08/04/2018 07:43

Hi Barry. Here, have a hand hold. And even an unmumsnetty hug.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. (Seven months sober.)

I thought AA wasn't for me for YEARS. Mostly because of the God stuff. The literature is very God-y. But I haven't found the meetings to be so. Plenty of atheists there.

I love AA. The people there are lovely.

The one thing I'd say though is it is a programme of abstinence rather than reduced/controlled drinking. So I suppose you need to decide if that is for you. But even if you're not sure then meetings will still be helpful. I will still drinking when I first started going to AA. Nobody judged me.

Have you checked out the Brave Babe Battle Bus threads in Relationships? Lots of support there from other Mumsnetters who are going through what you are.

StealthPolarBear · 08/04/2018 07:45

Op why don't you see your GP?
How old are you if you duont mind me asking? At 40ish you should be invited for the health check anyway and that would be an opportunity to discuss this.

JellyBeanPaws · 08/04/2018 08:13

@BarryChuckle unfortunately I left seeking support too late, and landed myself in rehab for 6 months. I was a bit too past the point of self-help.

But I have hope for you as you have been able to identify your problem before it has become all consuming. There are lots and lots of self-help books, websites and online support forums you can get reading up on if you’re not quite ready for meetings.

You are worth it.

vxa2 · 09/04/2018 13:22

I am 2 years sober and I remember being where you are now. Well done for reaching out - there is so much stigma associated with having a drinking problem which can make it very hard to get help.

I referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service who were very helpful. I didn't go to AA but I know it works for lots of people. It's certainly worth a try - I might check out my local meeting in the next couple of weeks just to get a feel for it. I did go to some SMART Recovery meetings but I didn't like them much and they were all in the middle of the day which isn't any good if you're working.

Have you thought about your local addiction services ?

There is lots of online support - I am happy to send you some links if you would like. Personally though I think real life support is crucial, I found getting sober painfully lonely especially as I knew there were other women just like me but I had no idea who they were or how to reach out. Because of this I set up a support group for women in my area (Birmingham). We meet every 3 weeks. If you are in the area and would like to come please PM me.

I know that's a lot to take in. Reaching out is a huge step. You really can do this and it will change your life immeasurably. X

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 09/04/2018 13:26

Well done for admitting you have a problem and wanting to do something about it. I tried AA, 9 months ago, and haven't looked back. You can disregard the higher power stuff...or you can think of the collective power of AA as a higher power if that helps, that's what I did at the beginning. People are indescribably kind, helpful and generous. Maybe just try one meeting and see how you go?

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