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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Where to find help on giving up alcohol

13 replies

Stormsacomin · 27/03/2018 17:12

I have done dry January, sober October and even dry (parched?) March. Then I read, "The Sober Diaries," and I realised that drinking in moderation is not something that I can do. I am 48 and I think that, tomorrow, next week and in the future is now here. Mumsnet seems to have loads of support but it's all a bit overwhelming and I don't know where to start. I'm not brave enough for AA or to go public in any way, so an online forum seems like a good first step. Where do I start? Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

CatherineCawood · 28/03/2018 13:34

Club Soda together or Club Soda alcohol Free on facebook are good groups. Soberistas is supposed to be good. The Unexpected Joy of Being sober by Catherine Gray is a great book too. Good luck.

tribpot · 28/03/2018 13:44

I would start with this book, which really helped me.

Reddit has a sub-forum for giving up alcohol which appears to have helped quite a lot of people based on the articles written about it.

I should say, though, that I think going public at some point will be essential - I went for this approach from the very start, but then again I had made myself very ill through drinking so it wasn't as if anyone could say 'ah go on, one won't hurt you'. Nearly 7 years on, there's basically no-one who doesn't know that I don't drink, and most people know why. Without that public declaration and the accountability it brings, I know I wouldn't have maintained my sobriety.

But you have to start somewhere, and if a forum feels right, go for it.

Original poster

Stormsacomin · 28/03/2018 20:42

Thanks both for your advice. I will go public eventually. I have mentioned to a friend that's coming on Sunday that I'm trying to drink less and will therefore pick him up and deliver him home and have put Becks Blue on my shopping list. Which is a start..... If I'm really really honest, I don't want to give up. I'm still in the grey area where I think actually I can cut down and drink moderately, even though I know that this doesn't work for me for more than 50% of the time or actually probably much less. If I didn't have a problem, I wouldn't be writing any of this. Anyway, I will heed your advice and do some more reading and check out the FB pages and Reddit. Thanks again. x

OP posts:

tribpot · 28/03/2018 21:54

I would personally avoid things which are meant to taste alcoholic, I think your brain will trigger you and it will be quite easy to go from alcohol-free beer to regular beer. I've never had an alcohol-free version of an alcoholic drink since I gave up drinking - I think the associations would be harmful.

My GP told me to give up drinking for a year. Whilst this seems like a dauntingly long time, it's a lot shorter than 'forever'. It was over the course of that year that I came to accept I would never be able to drink again. Give yourself a year and then you can review. If you're too daunted ever to get started on your sobriety, it doesn't help anyone.

Well done on telling your friend, that's a great start.

didsnbump · 28/03/2018 22:18

Hi Stormsacomin, how much are you drinking at the moment. I want to cut down but don't want to do AA as i don't think its the right route for me.

Original poster

Stormsacomin · 30/03/2018 11:33

Hello Didsnbump, My problem is that I can not stop at one or two or three or four or sometimes more. I no longer drink just to relax, in the back of my mind, I'm drinking to get drunk. I normally don't drink three or four nights a week and I am drinking an awful lot less than I used to. However, after a really boozy Christmas, feeling anxious, tired, angry, I read, The Sober Diaries and it really struck a cord with me. If I have to pick between all or nothing, I think nothing unfortunately has to be the answer. I am going to try another dry month (I did dry Jan and then went back to drinking a bit/lot too much every time I had a drink.) On the recomendation of CatherineCawood - see above, I have had a look at Clubsoda on Facebook and it's great. They have groups for younger joiners, (not for me sadly!) they also have different groups for people who want to cut down and/or drink sensibly. They had some great tips like delaying your first drink when you go out or having the first one or two drinks as non-alcoholic. Maybe I have the wrong idea of AA but I don't think it's for me, or at least not yet. In answer to your question, I probably drink a strong G&T and half a bottle of wine a few times a week. But sometimes, or probably more times than I care to admit, it's a lot more than that. If I meet friends or have friends over or go out or if there is basically any occasion when I don't keep an eye on what I'm drinking I will very quickly get very-very- not-much-fun-drunk. This is why I think I need to just stop. How about you?

OP posts:

didsnbump · 04/04/2018 23:52

Do you only drink heavily when out socially or at home as well?

Original poster

Stormsacomin · 06/04/2018 17:27

Both. I tried limiting myself at home, which worked up to a point, but not all the time.

OP posts:

lillylop · 07/04/2018 22:32

Try 'sober school' it's a 6 week online course and I found it amazing and haven't touched a drop in 4 months. The blog is great to get a feel of her approach and there is loads of support during and after the course. I also found 'this naked mind' book and podcast great along with the Jason vale and Alan Carr books. Good luck x

lillylop · 07/04/2018 22:37

Personally I would forget moderation. For anyone who feels they have struggled with alcohol in the past, moderation is torture and just not sustainable.

vxa2 · 09/04/2018 13:24

I am 2 years sober and I remember being where you are now.

I referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service who were very helpful. I didn't go to AA but I know it works for lots of people. It's certainly worth a try. I did go to some SMART Recovery meetings but I didn't like them much and they were all in the middle of the day which isn't any good if you're working.

Have you thought about your local addiction services ?

There is lots of online support - I am happy to send you some links if you would like. Personally though I think real life support is crucial, I found getting sober painfully lonely especially as I knew there were other women just like me but I had no idea who they were or how to reach out. Because of this I set up a support group for women in my area (Birmingham). We meet every 3 weeks. If you are in the area and would like to come please PM me.

I know that's a lot to take in. Reaching out is a huge step. You really can do this and it will change your life immeasurably. X

didsnbump · 10/04/2018 00:55

Stormsacomin, my story is so long and I keep wanting to put it out there but don't want to dribble on, as we all have our own battles. I don't drink to get drunk, I love good wine and with that I get to switch off and relax. But i have the good wine and then finish the bottle, and then maybe have a little vodka and diet lemonade or two before going to bed and then sleep like a log x

201805spring · 05/05/2018 22:47

Hello, I would suggest you have a look at Soberistas website. You can have a weeks use for free before you need to join. Honestly it's great, lots of info, webinars, forums etc. It's supports not drinking at all rather than moderating and there are people on there who have just stopped recently to those that have stopped a few years ago.
Moderating takes so much effort, making up 'rules' when to drink, how much allowed and then these rules get pushed until they're gone and you're back to square one. There are so many positive stories on there from people who no longer drink and there's lots of advice available.
I've gone from drinking too much too often to not having had a drink for 15 months, it's the best decision I have ever made and I couldn't have done it without the support and advice on Soberistas. Please PM me if you'd like to. (Ps I have no connections with the site other than I would recommend it to anyone!)

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