Terrified.

[SockMobster]

Ok, not sure where to start with this. I can go without a drink for a day, maybe two days (but I end up super anxious on the second day, and, I can't sleep that night).

Alcohol is ruining my life; people say "oh you don't drink that much" because they don't realise how much I am drinking. I'm being told that I just need to cut back and moderate if I am worried. The thing is, I can't moderate.

I need to go completely cold turkey, and I need to do it now because I am incredibly close to fucking up the best opportunity I have in my life. I don't know where to turn to support so I am turning to mumsnet. I have a 26 tablets of diazepam, but that's it - my GP has been fairly useless on this front, as have the mental health service -that I've just stopped going to-

I'm actually very scared I won't be able to stop though. Has anyone contact Alcohol Support or AA?

Morning SockMobster you are doing amazingly well. Can I second the recommedation for the Brave Babes thread (here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3181829-Brave-Babes-Hygge-Battle-Bus-Snowed-in-and-Drinking-Hot-Chocolate-instead-of-wine)
I have found it an incredibly supportive and non-judgemental place and it has really helped me to stop. I haven't tried the dry threads, but I understand that they might be good if you find talk of drinking a problem (some on the Brave Babes are moderating, or trying to, I was one of them, but switched to abstinence on 1st Jan and find it easier than trying to moderate)

You can do this. I highly recommend sobriety ☺ (after the first few days/weeks, which don't feel great, but ARE worth it 100%!)

Well done!!

You have to get to the other side of these awful feelings. If you don't push through them today, you will have to push through them another day. Keep going today. Don't drink today. You can do it.

Just wanted to give support and share my good experiance at doing this.

I drank every day. I know I was drinking to self medicate for panic disorder. It's a vicious cycle. Drinking induces anxiety so you drink the next day to control the feelings .

I stopped drinking last September and anxiety wise I've never felt so good. Actually the anxiety has been reduced to mostly non exsistant. In the first few weeks I found it useful to:

Change my routine. If you usually drink in bed sit somewhere different at night.

Find a game you enjoy playing to keep your mind of anxiety /

Use ONE diazepam if things get too much

Don't have booze in the house / avoid going to shops

Start an excise class - something like yoga

You can do this. If you cant manage to do it alone access any support you can. It's totally worth it and well don't for recognising the problem.

Good luck.

Well done @SockMobster I saw your post yday and I've been been checking in to see how you are. It's great that you have come so far.
I come from a family that has problems around Alcohol and I was married to an alcoholic. I've seen the awful effects of alcohol on people's lives and I know how hard it is to cut it out having watched family members battles with it
My advice is to Treat every day as a new day. Be kind to yourself. Get all the support you need - there's plenty of it on mumsnet. of people. Don't hide and don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Push through it

Well done.

It sounds like today might be harder than the last couple of days prob as the cravings kick in. Keep posting here for support or the Brave Babes thread that flowers linked to above. Drink lots of water and herbal teas. You can do it.

@SockMobster Your post is really apt for me right now, I'm up to 2 bottles of wine per day now I really enjoy it but at a point now where I know I must stop (moderating doesn't work for me unfortunately).

I'm reading a book by Clare Pooley called the Sober Diaries - she also has a blog (from 2015 onwards) called Mummy Was a Secret Drinker and a FB page called Sober Mummy. She is very funny but at the same time, puts things into perspective.

How are you getting on?

Thank you everyone, I am feeling awful but I will reply longer when I start to feel better.

I really want Sunday Roast Dinner but they are all in pubs so I may go and treat myself to bacon and eggs at a cafe somewhere instead. I'm back in bed with more water, a berocca, another liver detox tea and 24 hours in police custody.

I have an essay deadline tomorrow (I work and study) and I think I am going to miss it but I am a bit past caring right now. Hoping I can work on it later - I only need to get a first draft of it as usually my first drafts are OK enough (and i just need it to be passable).

Thank you, and thank you some more. And i will come back with personal replies later (have got on the brave bus, thank you for the links and suggestions to that thread) xx

Don't worry about the essay. Just worry about not drinking today. Cafe breakfast sounds good. Maybe some coffee and chocolate will help. Whatever gets you through today without drinking.

Do you have plans for an AA meeting?

Thank you @GeorgeTheHippo

There's a meeting at five, but I feel so shit I am not sure I will even attempt to go.

One huge fry up, detox juice and coffee in me (I haven't had caffeine since Thursday either I realised and I am pretty sure just one coffee will be OK). Back to herbal teas for the rest of the day.

Going to go to supermarket in a bit to get sweet things as I've munched through my bag of fudge! Thank you for the tips suggesting sweet things.

Supermarket. Are you sure? Will you buy alcohol there do you think?

NOT TODAY.

Wondering if you have a bakery for sweet things that doesn't sell alcohol. Or take cash but no cards so you can only buy what you went for.

NOT TODAY

Oh yeah, good point.

I didn't think of that. Thank you. You've just probably averted a drink for me.

We have a series of excellent bakeries near by. I will walk down to one of them.

There are quite a few books about getting sober at the moment. I think it’s definitely a big issue for lots of people.

Good call on not going to supermarket. But don’t worry to much about sweet stuff. Alcoholic drinks are usually quite sugary so you will be craving sugar as well as alcohol. A friend was quite shocked at how hard he found dry January last year but this year he replaced his drinks with ice cream for the first couple of weeks and said it definitely helped. After a few weeks he then switched to fresh pineapple for some reason. He reckoned it helped the sweet craving. He isn’t an alcoholic but I thought it was interesting and logical about the sugar.

Thank you, I've just been to buy brownies and coconut milk cold coffee (so sweet)... I also have a non-alcoholic ginger beer for later on.

Essay is up shit creek with no paddles at the moment. May have to explain this one, but feel OK doing so if needed - I think they will be understanding for a day's extension... Acutally I realise what is more important at the moment.

Have also booked a Swedish massage for later on (past my supposed new bedtime, but the earliest time I could get and thought it may relax me before I sleep)...

Less than two hours till AA meeting.

A series of excellent bakeries nearby.

Lucky you! I'm very jealous. What a lovely way to be able to treat yourself during these tough days. Easier days will come soon. Xx

Hello and good luck! I also abused alcohol and I have been sober since November.
I do a mixture of things. A great place to start is with Jason vale kick the drink easily. That book saved my life!
I also go to AA when I can I love the fellowship and the inspiring stories.
If you are a Facebook user join us in club soda together or alcohol free.
That group has been a huge support to me.
You can do this. Please get to that meeting and buy the Jason vale book. Your new life starts today

Thank you everyone again, I've just been to my first proper meeting (and been inside it). It was hard, emotional and difficult to hear some of the shares, I didn't speak but I did introduce myself and people did give me their phone numbers as well.

I will join club soba - can anyone see I've joined though?

Will look at getting the book this week - thanks again.

Oh well done for going in!
That's a massive step you have taken.
And three days dry.
However shit you feel. You did it. Well done you.

Well done!!

Thank you, going to log off now for the night as going to my massage - and don't want to look at a screen after it in the hope it gives me a better night sleep. I'll be writing a list of gratitude instead (in a notebook!).

I've got clean sheets on the bed and alarm set for the morning already!

Day four tomorrow, bring it on!

Actually, bring it on if I feel better - I've stupidly been on google and terrified myself with reading the stuff on DTs setting in on day four or five.

Literally so proud of you op,

Just keep marching on and know that everyone is as strong as they make themselves. You can do it.. we believe in you!

Op well done. My sis went to various AA meetings in different towns to help her get through the day and get support. You have taken amazing first steps, keep going and don’t hesitate to keep taking forward steps, big hugs

Well done! Club soda won't show up on your timeline. As for DTs if you are not drinking in the day it's unlikely you will have withdrawal symptoms. Always check with a healthcare professional if in doubt.
I didnt drink until evenings so I just carried on not drinking.

One more day until the alcohol is out of your system. Keep going!

I have had no sleep.

Otherwise ok, I feel better than yesterday (possible the fact I was eating sugary brownies and drinking fruit smoothie at 2am. And 4am.)

At work so will write more later - have found another meeting for today. Also ordered the Jason vale book and the AA book which should arrive tomorrow. Thank you for all the suggestions (and ongoing support).