My DH has a drinking problem. He's able to go a few months without drinking, but then relapses. He works in a bar (!) and tends to drink only in work. I always know when he's been drinking because he doesn't come home at 11pm like normally - in fact, like last night, he doesn't come home at all.
He went to councelling for a little while but is unable to dig really deep into his childhood to find what triggers him. He insists he can quit drinking by himself, but he consistently shows he is not able to do so. He says working in a bar is not a trigger, and I believe it's true. Even if he worked in an office, if he wants to drink, he would drink.
We have a small baby, and I am more or less the sole carer of our child, as even when DH is sober he doesn't partake in much childcare (although DS is still breastfed so it's maybe a little forgivable at this stage).
I don't even know what I want out of this post. I know I probably need to leave him before DS starts understanding. But I don't feel brave or strong enough to leave. And I desperately want to give DS a sibling. I know it probably sounds irresponsible and stupid, but I was an only child and really suffered with it. I feel like if I have another child, I would feel better about leaving DH. Does this make any sense? I am very tired and sad and exhausted.