Far too much wine but no trigger

[Adviceonwhatnext]

I have fallen into a habit over the last few years of drinking a bottle of wine a night. I have at least 1 alcohol free night a week sometimes more but for context I have had 6 so far in January. All the other nights I have drunk a bottle, possibly a little more.

I love my life. I have a job I enjoy, often stressful but I do generally enjoy it. I have a great marriage, 2 fab DC and a lovely home. I am close to my DM and also DMIL. Generally I am altogether happy with my life.

How do I tackle this, I have tried the Jason Vale book but it didn’t work for me.

I don’t suffer with hangovers and my life is otherwise unaffected by it. I have no problem turning up to work, carrying out household chores, doing things with DC etc. I drink on an evening when they are in bed whilst tidying, cleaning, watching TV, listening to an audio book, reading, cooking etc.

Everything I see seems to say that there is an aspect of your life that you are unhappy with. I don’t think that’s the case. Does anyone have any experience of similar?

I have NC for this.

My friend gave up drinking with CBD oil.Google it...

Out of interest how did it help her?

That’s just swapping one addiction for another @CheapSausagesAndSpam

No, CBD oil isn't addictive. It has no hallucinigens in it so doesn't get you "stoned" either.

He used it by taking orally. He doesn't take it any more ...it was bothersome to get hold of...and neither does he drink. It calmed his anxiety enormously. It's used medicinally by many and by some on prescription.

Sounds exactly like me before I stopped drinking almost 2 years ago. I know that drinking a bottle of wine a night - sometimes more I was highly likely to be over the limit the next day and I was terrified of hurting someone or worse and losing everything, If I had carried on it would only have been a matter of time before something went wrong - I was hurtling towards rock bottom.

Do you feel that you want to stop? No judging here either way. It's a very personal journey and posting here is very brave so well done. X

I have a home breathalyser (DH is friends with a lot of police so i’m more aware) but by the time I leave on a morning I’m not over the limit. I only drink pinot grigio during week so usually around 11%. This is the problem I know it’s an issue but it’s not impacting on any area of my life at the moment but I know it will. Thank you for your responses so far

Interesting thread!
I too had settled into drinking a bottle of wine most nights a few years ago and I make a conscious effort not to do that now. I still drink but no where near what I was. I would love to be tee total but still end up 'fancying' a bottle of wine. I probably drink 3 nights a week now and would like to reduce it further.
Something must have made you think about how much/often you drink. Is it something you would like to reduce/stop doing?
Let us know how you get on x

Something has made you start thinking about it even though you don’t feel your life is in crisis . It’s great that you’re not in crisis - good basis for making changes. Have you joined Soberistas (or similar)? Tooling around online and seeing the diversity of drinking patterns and the way they can slowly damage families is both interesting and helpful. Alcohol can take a toll over years and years. One thing to consider is what would happen if you did have a bereavement or unexpected crisis. Like you, I generally have a privileged life with supportive people. But unexpectedly something went wrong at work 3 years ago and my drinking escalated - which was what made me give up. I have been 2.5 years without alcohol (i’m 37) and so happy I quit. It takes a little while and then becomes normal- a sense of everyday peace and freedom from clutter that allows a calmer existence. Good luck and seriously well done for realizing.

I found this thread due to me being in exactly the same place as you. I have a lovely life, family and friends. Yes I do have a lot of stress on occasions. I always tell myself I deserve wine!! If I’ve had a bad day I deserve it to make myself feel better, and if I’ve had good day, I use it to celebrate it!! I’m desperate to stop rewarding myself with wine. I drink a bottle at a time and have between 1-3 dry nights a week. However since Christmas it’s been few due to being in the drinking zone.
Tonight..I got myself a bottle of Pinot....and have left it and poured myself tonic water with lime. I feel immensely proud of myself.
I’m happy to go through this journey with you. I too am terrified of what it will lead to with regards to my health. I feel like I’m playing with fire.

I have a job I enjoy, often stressful but I do generally enjoy it.

Everything I see seems to say that there is an aspect of your life that you are unhappy with. I don’t think that’s the case. Does anyone have any experience of similar?

Your trigger maybe stress. It is likely you are using alcohol as a method of coping with anxiety.

If you can manage it, try not drinking at all for a month and keep a track of when you most feel you want a drink. My guess is that you will find that you have been using alcohol to manage your stress related anxiety and it is completely masking it.

I am with you OP although I suspect alcohol is a way for me of dealing with a slightly problematic relationship.
If you are habitual by nature then I think it's so easy to slip into this sort of thing.
How about family/friends influences? My DM drinks too much too and sees it as a 'treat'. And also has a slightly problematic relationship. She is lovely but I dont want to emulate her on the alcohol front.