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Alcohol support

I need to get sober !

6 replies

desperateandinneedofhelp · 09/12/2017 01:11

Hi all I've posted this elsewhere - but think this board might be a better place for it.

I need help, have just woken up after a huge night. I can't remember getting home. I was found on the door step, had vomited all over myself. I vaguely recall being dragged down the hall by my arms. My husband had to put me in the recovery position. He had to tell my SS I slipped and banged my head. I'm so ashamed I can't get out of bed. I have been gradually slipping down a distructive spiral and feel this is the last straw. I need help, how do I do this? Help

OP posts:
Poshindevon · 09/12/2017 06:31

You can only stop this spiral of destruction if you really want to, no one can do it for you and theres no magic wand.
Go and see your GP as soon as possible to arrange help advice and support. Contact Alcoholics Anonymous who will also guide you. Your husband needs the support as the spouse of an alcholic and AA can also provide this.
I wish you well on your journey which will be a bumpy road but worth it.

tribpot · 09/12/2017 07:54

This is the book that I bought the day after I started my journey to sobriety. It really helped me - it's not judgemental, it uses the term 'problem drinker', it's written by people who've been where you are now and where I've been too, and it's got lots of help and advice on different treatment options.

I wholeheartedly second Poshindevon's advice to get yourself to your GP. This is a very important step in breaking down the walls of secrecy and silence that surround our problem. It makes it real, at least within a confidential setting. Your GP will have seen it all before and should be able to advise on whether you need to have blood tests, or take supplements (I had to take folic acid although I can't remember why?).

For today and tomorrow, it's about not drinking, being kind to yourself (the recriminations and guilt are useless and more often than not just triggers to drink again 'to forget' or 'the damage is done now so I might as well carry on'). Start doing the work, start thinking about how you're going to change your routines to avoid drinking. If you need there to be no alcohol in the house for a period of time, say so.

Over the next few weeks, you'll need to start telling people that you have a problem with alcohol and you've given up drinking. This has two benefits - one is accountability (harder to hide if you're drinking again) and the other is that they should stop pestering you to have a drink. It will be best to avoid situations with alcohol as much as you can, this may be difficult two weeks before Christmas! But if it means not going out - well, just don't. Your health is more important.

I normally suggest people think about giving up for six months. One month is too short (although at least you will have company with people doing Sober January) and 'forever' seems too daunting to even get started. Six months is long enough to have made real lifestyle changes, got through some key events where normally drinking would be standard, to recognise some of your triggers (cooking dinner is always a good one) and to start to feel the benefits of not drinking.

I am six and a half years sober. I used to read posts like this on MN and think 'that could never be me, I could never manage to give up booze'. It turned out it could be me. Now it can be you. Good luck.

desperateandinneedofhelp · 09/12/2017 10:00

I won't be able to not have alcohol around the house, DH drinks daily. I'm not sure I can face the GP yet, but know I'll need to at some point. DH is so disappointed with me and I'm struggling with this. I think AA would help, I found a helpline. So will call them tomorrow when I'm feeling stronger. No sleeping tablets in the house, going to have to tough it out

OP posts:
bandicoote · 09/12/2017 18:15

I wonder if your DP sees you are really serious about stopping he might help by not having drink in the house for a while - just to help you get started. Or just buy enough for what he wants to drink - when I did Dry January my DH only bought the individual bottles of wine.

It really does help.

emancipationofalex · 09/12/2017 19:00

Congratulations on recognising you have a problem! This is the first step.

If you’re serious about your sobriety your DH needs to get onboard with no alcohol in the house, at least for a while anyway. We don’t keep any alcohol in the house (my DH is a recovering alcoholic).

MotorwayMingebag · 09/12/2017 19:25

Listen, you're not alone. I'm on the journey to sobriety after having too many nights like you describe and realising I have a problem. It's early days for me and I'm a weekend binger rather than a daily/nightly drinker. Although the space between my binges is growing as I work on the problem.

I haven't been to AA but I think anybody who wants to resolve a drink problem has to try every avenue so wouldn't rule it out. I have a growing library of books on quitting drinking. I read sobriety blogs and listen to sobriety podcasts. I think about it every day. I analyse my triggers and I do what I can to avoid them. I think it's working for me I fo feel a change in my thinking about drinking.

I'm not there yet but my advice to you is start reading, join forums, find blogs and podcasts from people who have been where you are and come through it. Try and find a message or system that inspires you.

Good luck. You're not alone.

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