Anyone had experience of AA

[lovemylover]

My son is an alcoholic, he has been to a detox centre for 10 days, then went on to a rehab for 3 months where of course he couldnt drink, but the day he came out went and bought a bottle of wine in less than 2 hours
I was so proud of him for putting himself in there
I am now so disappointed in him, hes back to his old routine, just not as much as before ---yet
He hated rehab, and to be honest from what he has told me i dont blame him
He said it was all about god and being humiliated for not believing in god, he said it was more like a cult
I had to fill in a questionaire on his behaviour as he was living with me at the time
I wrote the truth, he wasnt violent and basically just talked non stop, i said how much he drank etc,all truthful,
The counseller said it wasnt true and i was defending him,
He says he wont go to A meetings as they are "god botherers"
He looked like a different person when he came home,had put weight on. and his face didnt look gaunt anymore
He has now run out of money,hes been on sick, but his entitlement has run out now
He reckons he can beat it on his own, but i know he cant
He had a good job, but it was hard and very physical, also unsociable hours, so didnt sleep much eat properly,he was in a bedsit at the time, eventually came back here as he couldnt afford to live there ,rent was £100 per week. and the rest of his wage went on booze.3-4 bottles of wine a day,
He already has a liver associated health problem
Any advice or experiences of AA gratefully appreciated

Hi Lovemylover,

I’m a sober alcoholic of nearly two years.

I’m also an AA member - though I do go a lot less these days.

It honestly sounds like he’s not ready to stop. In AA we call it a three fold illness. Mental, physical and spiritual.

Mental - the obsessive cravings. The shame and guilt. The fear and anxiety. Knowing that it’s not going to help but wanting alcohol to stop all of the above.

Physical - the physical longing and addiction. So if you’re drinking a lot then stopping very suddenly can be very dangerous.

Spiritual - not purely a higher power thing. It’s recognising that there is gaping “hole in the soul” so something that is missing that has led you to seek comfort elsewhere.

It’s not about finding God. It’s more recognising you’re not in control.

What you Som has done is similar to me. I did inpatient rehab and it was fine whilst there. I was removed from the stress and worries of outside life.

But I didn’t learn and develop enough tools to keep it going.

Antabuse just makes you sick if you drink. It will do nothing to help the mental obsession side. But if it’s helpful then it’s worth trying.

Everything he has said I said before I got sober. I can do it alone. AA is not for me etc

At the moment, he is still getting a benefit from drinking. More than he would gain if he stopped in his mind.

You cannot cure it. Try looking up some family support groups.

All the best.