I have a serious alcohol problem. I don't drink every day or even every week but when I do I binge, badly to the point where I dont remember several hours of the night. I end up doing really stupid things and putting myself in dangerous situations. I was recently diagnosed with bi polar and am finding this hard to cope with and although I am medicated I don't feel it is really working.
I am a single mum and find my children very hard work and I am still dealing with the effects of being in an abusive relationship. I have counselling and have started going to AA. I have both my parents supporting me but even they are at a loss with what to do.
I have social services involved to which is an added stress as I was feeling suicidal. I have self harmed lately as I so desperate to change and do t know where else to turn or what to do. I feel like my children would be better off without me as I'm just ruining their lives with my mood swings and constant crying.
I find the mornings especially difficult and seem to spend them crying and feeling like I can't cope. I am determined to never drink again but the thought is so daunting and I'm afraid I won't be able to do it. I feel like I need to live with someone who can watch me all the time but this just isn't possible so it's down to me and I just don't feel strong at all.