Drinking way to much

[user1500457975]

I have been drinking too much for a long time. I'm under a lot of stress at home but I've let my drinking get out of control.
The typical hiding empty bottles, secret drinks while making supper. It's actually got to the stage that I'm quickly drinking out of the bottle. Straight spirits!
Every day is a hang over day and I hate myself for it. Then come evening time I'm at it again.
My partner knows I drink too much but has no idea about just how much I'm drinking.
I suffer from anxiety and I have a disabled child whom needs constant attention and doesn't sleep.
So I'm even more ashamed of myself letting my family down. But I feel so uptight and anxious that I reach for the bottle and knock it back in the quest to feel better. Of course this creates even more problems.
Is there anyone else that has had this problem?

Are you ready to stop drinking?

There is no magic wand. There are also no excuses - the reason you drink is because you want to drink.

You will only stop being an alcoholic when you decide to not drink. There is nothing on Earth, no person on Earth, that will affect that decision - it is yours to make and it is entirely your responsibility and blame if you choose to continue drinking.

You need to decide to stop drinking.

Definitely want to stop. And I realise how pathetic it is that my will power is so low.
It's a dangerous road I'm on and I need to get off it now.
I agree that we are all responsible for our own actions. However life situations can break you sometimes.
Got to change my routine at night when I usually turn to the booze.

It's not pathetic at all. Alcohol has become your coping strategy. You need to find a new one. What would help? Do you get any respite? Would you consider speaking to your GP for help and support?

If you're an alcoholic, it really isn't a matter of willpower. Alcoholics have tremendous willpower - even if we're hungover to fuck, puking every second breath, haven't showered for a week and can't drag ourselves into work, we will somehow scrape together money, get dressed, and get to the nearest shop to buy more booze.

You realise that alcohol is magnifying existing problems, and you realise you have a dependency - this is positive, it's the first step towards making changes.

Find a local AA meeting - you can search for your nearest one on their website - and go. Force yourself through that door, and they WILL welcome you. You don't have to talk, or share anything to begin with, you can just listen. AA isn't for everyone, but for a lot of us, it's working.

Alcoholics have tremendous willpower

Never a truer word said. An alcoholics drive to get a drink is stronger than any other drive, even the basic biological needs to live.

In order to stop you have to find within yourself a drive and willpower over and above the drive to drink: the will power to not drink.

Change of routine is a good idea. Perminant change.

Distraction techniques, keep yourself very busy on non-demanding tasks. Mindfulness tasks are good, colouring in for example. Or cross stitch. Or gardening, decorating. Whatever is your thing.

Get rid of all alcohol. Obvious one.

Drop any assumption you can 'just have one tonight and that's it for the week' (or whatever). You'll need to abstain. Not drink at all.

However life situations can break you sometimes.

That's an excuse, not a reason. Stop kidding yourself. You can look after a disabled child and not be an alcoholic. I realise this is not hand-holding and supportive, but it's a cold hard fact that you need to accept.

You don't drink because you have a hard life. You have a hard life and you drink. The two are mutually exclusive.

You choose to drink.
You have to choose not to drink.

Well so far this evening I've had no desire for a drink. My child has just flooded bathroom. Downstairs ceiling dripping away.
Luckily still no desire for a drink.

Well done, keep going

Most people manage to deal with emergencies like a flood without being drunk. In fact being sober allows for a more effective responce, so well done. Keep going.