Going 'dry' for 4 weeks

[CurlieSue]

Hi, I have a real problem with wine. I find it hard to admit but I'm addicted to it. I can easily drink a whole bottle without even feeling drunk and often drink a bottle and a half in the evenings. Spirits I can take or leave, I don't actually like most of them, but there is something about wine that I find so addictive. I have to do something because I'm so worried about the effect on my health - mental and physical. I'm fed up of feeling tired, sluggish, feeling overwhelmed by day to day stuff like housework. I've decided that starting tomorrow, I will do my utmost to go dry for 4 weeks. Does anyone want to do it with me or is there a 'dry' support thread I can join? Thank you.

You're doing great guys you wait, in a couple of weeks you have lovely clear skin and brighter eyes to look forward to and quite possibly slightly looser clothes. Great benefits.

Hi Christmas and Luxury thank you for your messages of support. Luxury I can't wait to experience those benefits. I'm desperate to lose weight so I hope I can shift some pounds.

Christmas day 10, wow that is fantastic! You must feel so proud. I struggled a bit this evening. I was really stressed out with making dinner and looking after my toddler who wants my constant attention and I really craved some wine. Luckily I had none in the house. I knew today would be hard though as I always drink mid week. I just need to get through this week and hopefully next week will be easier. Sending you both good luck and good nights sleep! xxx

Hi everyone, it's great to hear you're all doing so well Today is day 3 for me but it's kinda like day 1 really. The last 2days have been spent in a depression hole, so by not leaving my bed or eating, drinking only the minimum amount of water I've been abstinent by default.
Today I have to pick my son up from school and so have had to pick myself up out of that hole.
Now I'm showered and dressed and feeling more with it all I want to do is buy a bottle tonight to help me feel better???!! How stupid is that! I so badly want to get to at least day 5, but every single time I don't get past the evening/night of day 3.
All I need to do is not buy it. As soon as I've bought it it's too late for me.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me tonight and I'll be sending you all the positivity you need too

Hi nomadali do you think depression kicks in after quitting? I am.asking as I have been struggling with a very low mood for days now. Very odd.

I hope you are able to keep strong tonight, I will be rooting for you!! 11 days for me but I feel pretty rubbish tbh x

*Christmas, I can imagine you're feeling low because you feel like you're now missing out on something but that's the problem with alcohol. We're all brain washed into thinking it makes us feel good and is an important part of having fun and being social. Please look up and buy if possible Allen Carr "the easy way to control alcohol" I think it would be a great read for you at this point in your abstinence. It helps you see all the positives of not drinking and points out how easy it is to turn all your negative thoughts of not drinking into positive. I may not have explained it too well but I think it would really help with your low mood.
So far not bought anything but having an internal battle over it So impressed that you've stayed strong even with your low mood. X

Hi all, just popping by to repeat the mantra nobody regrets not drinking the night before

I recently read 'The Naked Mind ' by Annie Grace which some may enjoy.

Keep at it, I'm hoping to quit altogether now. I'm hugely moderating after dry January and am losing the urge to drink now after a couple of wobbles.

Hi all, nomad a MASSIVE well done to you for getting to day three. You should be so proud of yourself. I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed!!. You've done so well not to drink given how depressed you've felt, but maybe it's your body and mind readjusting, which is what I said to Christmas. Have you seen a doctor though about how you are feeling as maybe they can help? *Christmas, well done you for getting to day 11! I hope your low mood improves. Can you plan to do something nice at the weekend, something that will give you a boost? You should feel so proud for getting this far. I'm on day 5 but today has been the hardest day. I'm a stay at home single mum with a very active and impatient toddler who seems to have reached the terrible twos early and today has been so stressful. I have wanted some wine SO badly. I had to pop into ASDA this afternoon to buy some bread. I couldn't resist looking at the wine section and saw my favourite sauvignon blanc was on special offer. Thank goodness though there was none left on the shelf otherwise I think I'd have bought one. I feel very weak willed tonight and I'm worried how I'll get through another evening let alone another 3 weeks and 2 days! I actually find that my willpower weakens as time goes on, whereas for some people it gets stronger.

Sorry Lux I forgot to say thank you to you for your positive words. I'm going to order the Naked Mind. It looks like something I could really use right now xx

Thanks for the mantra Lux* I'll have to get that on repeat for tomorrow night!
CurlieSue* you're doing so well too, massive congrats to you especially getting through the supermarket without buying wine!! I haven't braved the supermarket yet.
I'm a single mum too but going through the teenage stage with 16yr old and 12yr old boys. I've used alcohol more recently as a way to calm myself down rather than get into arguments with them, but found out too late that's not the way to deal with things.
Thinking of you all. Goodnight X

Hi ladies
My mood hit a real low yesterday and had a really bad day. Work is incredibly stressful, which I believe was what led me to.drink.in the first place, so.now without the drink I.am finding it intolerable and every day is a struggle.

I didn't drink last night so I am on day 12. I feel terrible but at least I know the reason. I will write a more upbeat note later but I.have been thinking of you all and rooting for you xx let's hope we make it through this weekend!! Xx

Christmas you are doing great, really well done on day 12, that's fantastic.
It takes a while to realise that while drink is an 'instant' fix to feeling less stressed, it is a false fix, leading to bad sleep, bad eating habits (often - getting stuck into crisps for example) and a low mood the next day. I think we can get so used to feeling slightly crap the next day we begin to think it is a 'normal' feeling - it's not.
I had to find other ways to wind down and for me that involves taking care of myself, panting my nails, face masks, things like that which wasn't really me but is now becoming habit. It's a cliché but a long hot bath really is a good way to unwind, as is losing yourself in a good book.

I had to consciously try to stop seeing it as denying myself something and instead seeing it as giving myself a fantastic gift (of health, sleep, better skin, more money, and so on)
Changing the way you think is very powerful, and rewarding yourself a little is helpful too (you didn't buy 3 bottle of wine so how about a new lipstick/book/great quality coffee or whatever)

Your moods will settle, but with or without drink we all have good days and bad, stressful, sad times and great times, feelings and emotions are normal and what makes us human

Painting my nails - not panting, that would be weird!

Thank you all
I had a much better day today and although I am now craving a prosecco, I am grateful my mood has lifted and that sense of eeriness gone - it was awful. I think my body/mind has taken 12 days to detox.

I hope you are all doing well and finding it easier!! I am not drinking now I got this far, I really don't want to be back to where I was.

I am thinking when I finally go back to drinking I might just drink when I go out, which is once in a while.

Or give up altogether.. Have to get past my 40 days and I am not even half way through yet!!! Xx

Ps curly massive well done in your day 5 yesterday and for resisting the temptation to buy the wine. I have a garage full of wine on wine racks so I don't go in there!

Hi Christmas thank you for your message. I'm ashamed to say though that I had a bad day today and caved in and bought a bottle of wine. I feel so bad about it, especially when you and others are doing so well. I really hoped I could do this and am very disappointed in myself. I know why I did it - I am so stressed out with looking after my toddler and being out of work. I live in a tiny house - the living room floor is covered in toys and my daughter won't leave me alone for a second. I feel my life is all work, work, work and no pleasure and wine is my only pleasure. If only I could have just a few drinks at the weekend and leave it at that, this would be fine, but I can't do this. I have really thought a lot this past week about why I drink and why I struggle without a drink and have learnt a lot. I think I made a mistake in not preparing myself enough for how hard it would be. I need something pleasurable to replace the drink and that will keep my mind off it. I have ordered 5 books off amazon that I'm hoping I can get stuck into, as I find reading really takes my mind off drinking. I am going to start again on Monday, as I'm not going to give up on this.

Well done to you though, you are doing so well. It sounds like you might be over the worse of it now and are coming through to the other side. xxx

Hi curly, please don't get discouraged, it's only one day..

Like you, I drank because my life is work work work and has very little else. We have issues with work, house, kids and at times I feel alcohol is a quick escape.

Tonight I was at loss drinking fizzy water and on the Internet whilst the kids and husband watching a film. So odd not to sit with a glass of wine.

Now you know the reasons you will be better equipped to do it. I have tried this loads of times before and failed. I am not sure what's changed this time but if I can do it, you can too. It's still hard but it's getting better.

Please keep posting because we are here to support you xx ps I haven’t shed a single pound, which is really disappointing - I must be eating more without realising it, to.compensate..

I've realised that I really do have an addictive personality and my whole life I've been addicted to something. When I was a child, it was bubble gum! I was born in the 70s and sweets and bubble gum were a big thing then. I couldn't get enough of it. In my 20's it was cigarettes, I was a 20 a day smoker. In my 30's and now, my early 40's my addiction is wine. I became addicted aged 30 after a bad break-up. I found wine numbed the pain. Before then, I couldn't even make it through a glass of wine, as I didn't like it, but once I got the taste of it, things got out of hand and I needed more and more wine to feel the effects. I think that the seeds were sown though in early childhood. I was allowed small amounts of alcohol from a very early age - sips of my Dad's beer at a weekend, small glasses of advocaat, Baileys and Sherry at Christmas. I think my problem is a lot deeper than just a physical addiction.

Hi Christmas I posted before I saw your post. Thank you for your support. I do feel better knowing that you can do it despite all the stresses in your life. You're right, it is only one day and I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it. I was watching some videos last night on YouTube about the effects of alcohol on the liver and it really scared me. I didn't know that you only had symptoms of liver damage until the problem was severe, as the liver has no pain signals. I watched a video of a 42 year old man with Cirrhosis of the liver. He never thought he drank that much but started to get pains in his liver and vomiting blood and by that point his liver was already severely scarred. It broke my heart to see how ill he was. I don't want that to happen to me. It's my worst nightmare. I really hope I can find the strength to do this. I hoped that my daughter alone would be enough incentive to go dry for a while and feel so guilty that it isn't, yet I managed not to drink at all through my whole pregnancy, with no cravings whatsoever as I knew that there was no possible way I was going to drink, as it would affect my unborn child. Yet drinking now, is still going to affect my child, not physically, but mentally/emotionally, as I can't be the mum I need to be whilst I'm drinking so much. My sister has a drink problem too (though she'd never admit it), so I think it could be a genetic thing as my Dad also had a big drink problem, as did his Sister (my aunt). My mum was practically teetotal on the other hand. I know I can overcome this, but I think it isn't going to be as easy or simple as I thought.

I bought a book by Jason Vale last Saturday. I wanted to cut down. I was drinking virtually every day and although I always had around half a bottle, this was going up. I knew it was bad for my stomach and my weight and general health. I was absolutely mortified at the thought of a doctor realising I was drinking too much.

So I bought the book after seeing it recommended on here and I read half of it on Saturday and the other half over the next few days. And I haven't even thought about having a drink. I've been out a couple of time and had a friend round for the night, all times when I would have caved in, but I didn't even think about it. It was a strange experience. I think I've been hypnotised by him!

It's called Kick the Drink... Easily!

A lot of people have that reaction to his book. I wasn't as enchanted, but I did find This Naked Mind, which is very similar, had a real impact on the way I think of alcohol.

Thanks for the book recommendations ladies. What I have realised is that alcohol is a substitute and this journey isn't just about giving up alcohol but finding something to replace it.

I haven't found it yet but I will with time.

Thanks for the book recommendations ladies. What I have realised is that alcohol is a substitute and this journey isn't just about giving up alcohol but finding something to replace it.

I haven't found it yet but I will with time.

Is anyone here tonight? It was hard this weekend.. Dh and I made up for the absence if wine with a bottle of sparkling apple and ice cream....how is everyone else getting on? X

I think everyone has left this group so this is my last post.. Weekend was hard but today after 14 days I start to feel more myself; my mood has settled and so has my crippling tiredness, although I am living my sleep!

My weight has stayed exactly the same, probably because I am having more snacks and my skin doesn't look any better; maybe those things will come later.

The cravings haven’t gone at all. Tonight I was driving back and could picture a crispy white wine. Sigh. However my will power has increased as I am so proud of having come this far that I would not want to start yet again.

Good luck to everyone trying and I hope my update helps someone xx all the best xx

Hi Christmas I haven't left. I think you are doing so well and you should be so proud. Keep going! After my bad weekend I'm back on being alcohol free. It's harder than I thought but I'm determined to do this. X