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Alcohol support

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DP and alcohol

30 replies

toogoodtobetruex · 08/02/2017 17:57

I don't really know why I'm asking because I think I know the answer but dp is young, late twenties, good job, well paid and so on. He drinks 8 or 9 cans of beer a night, most nights, in fact almost every night. More on weekends as it's 'the weekend'. He goes to bed at a normal time and wakes up for work every day no problem but I know this is too much. Not to mention what if he got breathalysed on the drive to work, would he still be over the limit?

I don't drink but have challenged him about his drinking in the past, when he goes to the GP he never tells them how much he actually drinks. I said this is a sign he knows it's wrong. He says he knows he probably drinks a bit much but never drinks in the morning so isn't an alcoholic (?!). On a weekend he will start drinking around 2pm.

I don't know what to do. I have been too passive and now feel like if I start having a go at him he will feel suddenly threatened and pull away. He is a good person and never angry or anything due to drinking. More the fact that he gets morose and once he's had a few then all proper conversation goes out of the window. He seems a bit down but we've had a tough time of it lately, I just feel lonely once he starts drinking. Sorry this was rambly it's the first time I've really said it 'out loud'.

OP posts:
BottomlyP0tts · 25/02/2017 09:03

What is a "normal" amount of beer to drink in a night? Mine has minimum 3 cans average 6-9

Feckthis · 20/03/2017 22:59

Bump... thoughts on what is a normal amount of beer?!

christmaswreaths · 21/03/2017 07:00

1 or 2 I would say?

Gallavich · 21/03/2017 07:10

One or two cans ok as a daily thing I guess (but I prefer men who don't have to drink alcohol daily)
6-9 is problematic to say the least

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 21/03/2017 08:12

Toogood..
We went to supper with my parents last night. My father had got so drunk before that he couldn't speak. His drinking has been going on for years and decades. Mum is now trapped with an alcoholic with no way out (both 80+). She is lonely and isolated.

As PP's say you can look forward to a life with an alcoholic if you stay with him. It is an addiction and illness for which the only management comes from your dh.

My pennyworth is that you have a careful discussion. Explain your concen and say you will not get pregnant by him unless he can show he has his alcohol use under control. Notwithstanding anything else, at his level of drinking his sperm will be a vey degraded quality and you will be carrying a damaged baby before it is born.

This is blunt but it needs saying. If he cannot, or will not do something for you and his own children (to be), you have a stark choice in front of you. You must make a decision as to whether you leave him and find another husband to father your children and look after you, or stay with him and face a future with someone who will become a full alcoholic in the fullness of time. Whatever way you choose it will involve a lot of discomfort and probably cost a lot of money and I feel for you.

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