I need help with my dads drinking! I actually cant put up with it anymore, but i love him so much!!
For as long as i can remember my dad has drunk, or had some kind of addiction...drugs ect and i feel so sorry for him...When he's sober he is THE most amazing, kind and caring man you will ever meet. loyal friend, devoted grandparent to my 3 daughters and an all round nice funny bloke. But then he drinks, which is every day! The drunk him is nasty, rude, arrogant, wants to argue with you and just takes the piss to be honest. I have always seperated the two character...Pissed George and My Dad. If i didn't have my dad i would just have pissed George every day!
He lost my mum after 20 years through drinking as she had enough, she became very bitter towards him just though pure frustration and anger he couldnt change for her, or me and my brother. My brother now 24 cant stand him, and has no time for him at all..he even now will go in a mood with me if i mention another one of dads dramas, so now cant speak to my own brother about dad anymore.. He also lost his 2nd wife of only 2 years through his constant lies and drinking!
He scrounges off me which i even feel bad saying, hes on benefits for being an alcoholic! He is known for being such a hard grafter and worker but got to the point that he almost shot someone at work with a 6inch nail gun in the head. So me and My husband told him he needed to get help!! he used this to make excuses to stay on benefits, not getting help to sort the actual drinking but just so he didnt have to work, and so that he could get a higher benefit so he would have more money each week...which he now only spends on drink anyway...
My other half has always been amazing when it comes to my dad and undertanding of his situation..they are good friends, and many times i have fallen out with dad, its my OH that tells me to see him...till now..they have fallen out, because my OH has now had enough too...which i don't blame him but its so awkward...this happens every few months he falls out with us doesnt see us for a bit then gets his feet back under the table to take the piss...my OH has literally provided for him every week for almost 9 years, apart from the 2 years he was married...hes lived in every house we have, and drains me financly like you wouldnt believe ...
ive been cruel to be kind, ive had to he says some nasty stuff when hes drunk and it brings out a bitter side in me now too..ive told him i cant afford for him to leach off us , i cant afford his bottle of cider every day, or his bacci and 3 meals a day and its the most embarrassing thing i have to do, as i have to say these things to him when hes sober enough to listen..its cringing...but either way drunk or sober he'll get defensive and say 'im picking' on him. he guilt trips me if i say something to him about his drink and somehow always manages to blame me for the argument...before i was old enough to take his shit he blamed my mum, and his mum, his dad, as he wasntnt around and even the death of his sister when she was 6 (he was 2) hes full of excuses...
i cant deal with this anymore...what can i do? will he ever change? sorry this is long but im literally sat in my room crying writing this after an argument at my mums house with my OH as i said i want my dad at my house for an hour or 2 on xmas day!! my OH is a good bloke so dont think hes 'stopping' me from seeing my dad but he dont want him in our house..he;'s had enough and so have i but if i have told dad my feeling every way i can, ive also had him told about his behaviour constantly over the 9 years ive been with OH so what more can i do..?? .i could just talk on here all day :'-(