I have always liked drinking and have suffered with depression my whole life. 8 weeks ago my husband after years of manipulating and emotionally abusing me threatened to kill me and shoved me I tp a door so I had him arrested. This has left me alone with 2 Yong children (4&10m) and I a struggling to cope. I was drinking before he left and had several episodes as I Call them where I'd drink, go out and try (and sometimes succeed) to getting high on cocaine which caused massive strain on our relationship and I now feel this is all my fault. This weekend o have so e it all again, drank, some drugs, went back to some guys house and there was kissing etc (no sex thankfully) so I feel horribly guilty that I've cheated on my husband and he will never forgive me. He seems to be doing so well, seeing the kids at the weekend and working hard while I'm falling apart. He never gave a crap about the Kida when he was here so I think he has now realized what he done and wants to make amends. I still love him and want to try and work things out bit we can't talk as he is out bail and the conditions are no contact with me until the court case in September. I have bewwn to the doctors so many times but am going again today as I feel suicidal. I know this is all down to alcohol but I've tries to stop and I can't. I'm destroying y life, I feel so awful I can't look at my kids without crying and I just hate myself so much I self harmed at the weekend 2. Everything is such a Mess, my parents are very supportive but are at their witts end with me and so am I. I hate what I've become, o am like a different person hen I drink. I know some of it is to do with the medication I take for depression as it can make me hyper so I drink. I'm trying to come off them so I can go on something else . Sorry of this sound all over the place I'm just trying to get it all down. None of this is done around my kids although i have drank when they are up. I feel so low and hopeless I just want to end it all to stop the cycle. The only thing that stops me is my kids.
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Alcohol support
ApocalypseSlough ·
21/07/2016 10:37
Reread your first post when you're missing got husband. Please contact AA and eat sweet things. Alcohol contains a lot of sugar and you can satisfy that craving safely.
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