I want to stop .....

[PositivePete]

I want to stop drinking & don't know where to start!

My DM is in AA (6.5yrs Sober) I never after 25 years thought I would see the day. So I am MORE than aware of the dangers, misery, pain & suffering of alcohol.

I don't think I am an alcoholic, but I drink too much. I can't just have one glass. I can't just have one with dinner. It has to be full blown obliteration. It's making me miserable that I do that. The guilt the next day lasts for weeks sometimes.

I can't speak to my DM as she is very bias towards AA (that's fine as she would be dead) but I don't think AA is the route for me.

I just want to not drink. Why can't I just stop it!!!!!!!!

Today it's got to me really bad, I've not drunk over Xmas so it's not like I crave it. I think I'm bored!?! But I KNOW there is more to life than this misery that alcohol brings to me.

I'm stupid, guilty & feel horrible about it all

Think I'm going to need a strategy today!

Help.....

Smug & no fog tomorrow??

Going to friends this afternoon, they are all drinkers.

I am armed with Fizzy Orange ....

Please let me do this, I can do it!!

Can you offer to drive? I like elderflower in a champagne or wine glass. People tend to assume it is booze!
Tell them you have to drive early in the am?

Gads. Do you have to go? I'm driving tonight so I def can't, and it's too far for a taxi! You can do it.

Well, you need to decide if going to friends is the right way to play it. Realistically you stand a far better chance of getting through these early days if you're not around situations where you would typically drink. If you tell them you are doing Dry January they will point out that means today is for getting hammered. So you need to have something you can tell them. Can you drive there? If not, the better plan might be just to tell them that you need to stop drinking for a while.

I ruddy did it-nye with no booze!! Well chuffed. Hope you all enjoyed the evening.

I failed

However ...... all those points below are my trigger points.

I have to stay away from them.

Dry Jan here we come

Well, it sounds like you've learned something useful, PositivePete. It felt from your post as if you were rushing off, not a care in the world, but the reality is that was a hugely risky undertaking that needs a lot more careful planning. It's hard to keep managing your situation, day in day out, but that's what it takes. You need to plan. So if you want to see those friends, it should be in a setting where booze can be avoided.

Haggisfish - big congrats to you, you take first prize in the Smugly Sober competition :)

Thanks! Positivepete, don't let this get you down-nye is a very tricky one to negotiate!! I will probably end up having a glass of something today, so my smuggery will end! One day at a time, every sober day is a success. It took me about four goes to stop smoking and even now I have about three cigs a year. However, the vast majority of the time I don't smoke,so I don't beat myself up over it. Hope you had fun!

The other important point is that if you wallow in the fact you 'failed' it makes it easier to fail again, it's almost like permission. Grim determination is what's needed.

I've told my DM. She's supportive but in my face which is what worries me!

But new strategy today, will be reading the book recommended on here & we start Day by Day .....

Thank you all

I think you do need to be very clear with your mum - if you get in my face it is likely to reduce the chances of me being successful. I said something similar to my close work friends as they were most likely to see me in the position of getting stressed out at work and saying 'fuck it, it's wine o'clock'. I asked them not to tell me I couldn't drink as that would make me have two. But they could suggest that I wait 20 mins and see how I felt then.

They never needed to make use of this strategy but it was good to have it in the back pocket. There is no point being polite to your mum if it endangers your chances of success. You have to give yourself every chance, not sabotage out of politeness.

Dona earlier up thread mentioned the Dry thread over in Relationships which you can find here There are lot of us over there :)