My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Alcohol support

Advice on how to ask about alcohol consumption without being confrontational?

3 replies

Spamminit · 12/04/2015 14:59

My mum has always drank every day. For as long as I can remember, used to be a bottle of wine a night when I was a child. Now she drinks vodka with mixers. Never been concerned and just thought she is entitled to drink if she chooses as she is an adult etc etc and not very often does she appear drunk.

However, I have moved away now with my family and when she visits she will stay a few days. We have alcohol in the house but rarely actually drink. She brought 3 bottles of white wine with her on Thursday, drank it with lemonade from about 11am everyday and last night had a third of a litre of vodka with mixer.

I suspect that on a day out she even had a 'spritzer' made up in a soft drinks bottle and was drinking when out. She was driving with my children in the car. I only suspect and have no evidence to back it up, could have been lemonade. I really don't know how to approach the alcohol issue with her? She will probably be offended and I haven't said a word as yet. If anyone has any advice on how to gently approach the subject it would really be appreciated.

Thanks in advance Smile

OP posts:
TheMoa · 12/04/2015 15:05

I wouldn't mention how much she drinks generally, it's her own affair as long as she is functioning.

I would totally mention the driving while hungover/drinking, even if you only suspect it.

I would mention it before they ever got anywhere near the car, and certainly not allow the children to be passengers if you have the slightest feeling she's been drinking or is still under the influence.

I am pretty hardcore though, and my husband won't drink more than a glass of wine in an evening if he has to drive the next morning (I can't actually drive but would take the same approach).

Mintyy · 12/04/2015 15:09

I don't think you should be gentle at all!

Just be prepared that whatever you do or so will probably have no affect whatsoever on your mother's consumption. She sounds to be in the grip of a pretty serious addiction but hasn't reached rock bottom yet.

However, there is NO WAY ON THIS EARTH I would let that woman drive my children in a car. You must completely ban it. You could say "Mum, I don't want you driving the children any more. You drink so much, I doubt you are ever below the legal limit". That would be one way of opening the conversation.

Spamminit · 12/04/2015 15:41

Perhaps I just need to be brave and mention it. To be clear, when we went out we left in the am and she had not consumed any alcohol for sure, and if it were alcohol in the bottle it would have been wine/lemonade. Not that it is ok but I don't want to make her sound worse than she is.

She never usually drives us as we live so far away it is literally because our car is broken that she drove so I don't have to worry about her driving the kids anymore.

I think it needs to be said that she is an alcoholic, fully functional all be it. What a mess Sad

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.