Have found Birth Mother - need final confirmation - any ideas?

[pixiemamma]

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN WRONG SECTION - OOPS!

deep breath
I believe I have found my birth mother via the electoral roll in the area she lives. However, she has a non-unusual name. I do have her DOB however. Is there anyway I can double check that this is her before I consider asking the appropriate organisation to act as intermediaries - I am NOT considering making contact without using an intermediary.
Any advice would be most gratefully received.
NB. she is in her 70s so she isn't on Facebook etc :D

What would be the harm in contacting if it's not her?

pixie - have a look at afteradoption.org.uk - you will find lots of people on the forums there who can give you good advice. There is also a free helpline and they offer an intermediary service.
Some people I know have sent letters with non-identifying information eg, my name is xxxx, born xxxx I'm researching my family tree can you help etc. That way, if it is your mother and she has told no-one, she will know who you are but can deny it to others if necessary initially.
Hope this helps and good luck x

Have done this too. My mum had been looking for me and it happened that everything's worked out really well. Your mum may not have told anyone about you, especially if she has other children. You could send a letter to her as cath said but bear in mind, if she's not 100% her children may open her letters so don't put anything too personal in. Give her the chance to contact you first, it may be a huge shock to her but she may have been wondering about you too.

I wish you lots of luck!

Agree with cath476. Write a letter as if you're researching family details. There's a lot of that going on these days, what with Genesreunited and Who Do You Think You Are. If the wrong person reads it they won't suspect anything (unless they knew your mother had a child adopted), but she will know exactly who you are. This is what I did back in the 80s and I'm still in touch with both my natural parents even today. However be prepared for any eventuality, as sometimes birth mothers don't want contact. But don't let that put you off. You have to take the plunge, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't.
cheers

Dave

Agree that After Adoption are a great support. Just wanted to wish you the best of luck.