I joined MN just over a month ago and have really enjoyed it, although I must admit I tend to spend most of my time on AIBU But I had a look around this forum tonight and though I might share my experience, I know this is mainly for adoptive parents so I dont know how relative my comments will be, but I want to share anyway.
I am now in my late 30's and I was adopted as a toddler, but I had been fostered by my adoptive parents since I was a baby, they never made any secret of it and told me at a young age that they had chosen me. They already had 3 children of their own and I have always had a great relationship with them, not once has any difference ever been made between me and their natural children. I now have children, step children and step grandchildren of my own and my parents have been as proud of them as they are of any of their natural grand children.
By the time they adopted me they were an older couple, I put them through hell during my teenage years, the years when they should have been relaxing and enjoying a quieter life, but not once did they bat an eyelid, I was wilder than any of my brothers or sisters but they helped me through those years and I'm much stronger for their help. They are now both close to their 90's and say its the fact that they still have all their children and grandchildren around them that keep them young.
My life has been full of ups and downs but in general I have had a brilliant life and I owe it to my adoptive parents. I know not everyone who has been adopted has been so lucky but I can only go by my experience.
I have met my birth mother but I have no inclination to form any sort of relationship with her, I dont have any bad feelings towards her, to me she is a stranger. I am grateful to her for giving me up, the life I would have had with her would have been so different from the one I am leading now. I dont mean to sound heartless and I mean no disrespect towards anyone who has given up a child, but my birth mother did me a favour when she gave me up and she knows it, I respect anyone who can see the big picture and do something that must have been so hard to do, she knew that she could never have looked after me properly and she did the right thing as far as I'm concerned.
Well done to any adoptive parents on here, I can only hope that your children live as happy a life through adoption as I have.
Again I know that adoptions can go wrong etc, but these are my personal views on my personal adoption, I can't comment on anyone elses.
Sorry if it's been long and boring I just wanted to share.