Anyone else really shocked by this?

[aspiegal]

I read this article yesterday and was really shocked by it (not in a really bad way). I knew in America approval process works differently, but this family saw the picture of a girl, decided on the spot they would adopt her and were then approved and matched with her in 1 month
www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=310
My thoughts were since they were first time adopters and her husband was a little reluctant anyway that it was ridiculously short. I think it would be different if they were experienced adopters who had previously adopted from their DD's country
I was really pleased it turned out well 4 them but wanted to see what others thought!

We have some good friends who moved to the USA after adopting their DD. They are now being approved over there for no. 2 and the process is soooooooooo different.

For a start they have to be approved to foster with a view to adopting if the child gets released for adoption (so pretty risky strategy as there is always a chance the child may be sent back to the birth parents). And for their approval process they had to fill in a million forms but their home study consisted of 3 meetings, 2 of which where conducted in coffee shop and not even at the house!

So it seems they do it all very quickly over there. Not like our process (took 3 yrs the first time we were approved!!)

You've got to think that they haven't had a 'baby P' national scandle yet...

My opinion on that the British system is very hard on children. There are so many delays and obstacles to overcome. Children stay in the system for so long they become unadoptable. Prospective adopters are put off by the very long and difficult process and the many exclusions for reasons that have little evidence base.There is no evidence that a long waiting period makes more stable adoptive families

Also i read the dates in the article differently - i understood that the family had been thinking about adoption for 6 years, that they started the process in may 2001 and brought their daughter home in February 2002

the future for this child would have been very bleak had she remained in the foster care system. Now she has a loving family.

They are a mature couple with three other children, a stable marriage and obviously the financial resources to care for four children. The mother learned/ already spoke Spanish.They seem persistent and determined. There is no obvious reason to think that are not suitable parents

As much as anyone can judge from an article, IMO this is a good outcome for this child.

my social thought that a decent social worker should be able to tell within a couple of sessions whther people would make decent paretns and if there was some underlying problme parents deliberately try to hide then they can comfortably do that for the duration of a UK home study.

I think our prepartion courses are (on average) significanlt better than the US ones I've heard of (though to be fair I have also heard of some very good US ones). Our home studies (on average) tend to be more thorough. BUT we are way more interested in bureaucracy and ticking appropriate boxes here and less interested in the child (IMVHO). Ideally I'd like to see some of the rigours of the UK system combined with a greater sense of urgency and a belief that a decent parent is always better than a life in care

Being approved over here seems such a lottery. We were blessed to have a great team to work with when we approached a borough, but our local authority rejected us applying because I was too young! I was 30 at the time of applying DH a few years older and we had experienced a lot in life, had professional careers and we had a solid stable home life, one LA thought we were all wrong, and another that we would be "perfect"
I don't feel too young to parent my son, in fact some days I feel too old! What will carry you through one LAs home study, may have you turfed out of another.
The prep course we did was excellent, and really prepared us well for the issues that we face with our little boy, but I get the impression from AUK that not everyone is as well prepared.
I do think though you need time to reflect on the journey, but we may have been lucky, our time frame was
Autumn we looked at a few different agencies and LAs
January picked the one we wanted to go with, filled in their form
Febuary we had an interview
March-prep course
end of April began HS,
end of July finished HS
September Panel (no panels in August)
April match
May panel and Placement
Written out like that it seems a long time, but it did whiz past very quickly.

What I find more frustrating is the delays in getting my son into a placement, that is the part that I think needs to be speeded up.

Hi all

May I chip in?

We are just at the stage of looking into adoption in this country.

I thought the story was very touching, it did seem to be fast but the mum was thinking about it for 6 years. Sometimes a birth dad is not always so keen at first to be a dad! But then can turn out to be a great dad.

But what do I know, I am a newbie!

Thanks Silver1 for your timeline, it looks like 18 months, I wonder if that is normal for Uk adoptions?

Wow. Wow...knew I should not have done that. I had heard of Baby P but didn't know the full extent of things; against my better judgement I just googled it. He looks a lot like my own DS; am at work right now so I can't go sob like I want to.

Anyway. Here in the US the laws vary quite a bit by state and also what sort of adoption you are considering-from foster care, the private adoption of a newborn, or from overseas.

Hi Cheerfulyank the baby P case is a very sad case, as far as I am aware it does not have anything to do with adoption (correct me if I am wrong, anyone). However, I have heard anecdotally that more babies may come into care because of the case, but I have no idea! Anyway, just wanted to say hi as I am still awake and watching TV while Mumsnetting! Off to be now!

Italiangrey the reason more babies came into care rightly or wrongly, is because the more border line cases were going down the remove path, rather than the support input into the family, lets hope it gets better even though it probably wont route.
Our Time Line is a bit out, whilst some people do wait longer we had two big snags, the wait from beginning of March to end of April was because the team were two social workers down for that point.
Also whilst our son came home in May, we were set to get to panel in Feb for a match, that fell through two weeks before panel/placement. so it can be done in a year or less-someone on our prep course was matched before approval panel! Both were done on the same day.

My advice is chose your agency/LA carefully. You don't have to use your local LA, and whilst agencies may do a HS more quickly, they tend to place harder to place children that LAs struggle to place, so the wait for your child may take longer. It is all swings and round abouts.

'they are much better than the American system. '

Many American states do not discriminate against perspective parents based on age, weight, sexual orientation or marital status.

Thanks Silver1 I think we will talk to our local county council first (is that the same as LA - is it Local authority for London?) and see what the situation is. I have thought about this for a long time but now it is a possibility I am actually quite nervous! After years of being prodded and poked physically in the fertility system I am well used it and know what to expect! But the whole adoption thing is new to me. I am scared because I know 'we' and I mean everyone involved are trying to match a whole bunch of mixed expectations. What we all want (I am sure) is a happy family at the end of it but I know in that process the social workers are looking out for the child, we (of course) care about the child but also have our birth child too to consider and all our own nerves and fears! What a fermenting broth that is! I some ways I feel the time factor may help to smooth that out and help us to go through it step by step but I am also tired of waiting (we waited 14 months to get our donor eggs and than that failed). We will see how this goes. Thanks for being open and sharing.

agrreed expat... though in theory they can't (legally) discriminate on those grounds here either...