Panel date looming. One week to go! What should I expect? What do we wear?

[oinker]

We have panel in the next week. I am starting to get nervous. I have a hair appointment booked to make sure I am spruced up but what do I wear. It sounds stupid but I really want to make a good impression. Hubby is wear some nice cord trousers,shoes and a short sleeve shirt. EASY!! What am I supposed to wear? Jeans, Too casual? Trousers, too formal? Dress, too mumsy? I have some lovely maxi dresses but they are flowery.
Anyway, enough about dressing up. What should I expect. The only bad things about us are that hubby has been ill with pancreatitis recently though its all sorted out now and we are both overweight. Social/doctors not worried but we sort of are. Will they question us?

Just be yourself. If you make to much effort it will show and you won't feel comfortable.
I wouldn't wear jeans but anything else will be fine they are more interested in you than your clothes.
They will ask about dh health but as I assume your medicals have been ok they probably won't dwell on it.
If the sw and doctors are not worried about your weight then you shouldn't. The panel usually base their questions on the SWs reports.

Your SW should help you answer any questions that you struggle with.
Just don't worry. In my experience panels have always been lovely and full of admiration for what you are doing. I have attended both fostering and adoption panels and at both it wasn't the proffessionals who asked the toughest questions but the adoptors and foster carers so identify them, give them a big smile and you will be fine.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Thank you

That is a load of my mind. I will try and chill out! Will keep you updated!

Good luck. I am trying to remember what I wore, I think it was a top/skirt combo that was quite casual.

I think be prepared to answer questions re health, as they might come up, but don't stress about it - the social worker is backing you, they will be there, and they clearly think you are a suitable set of candidates or they wouldn't be wasting their time putting you forward

Just remember to be yourselves x

well the panel are unlikely to care what you wear, but you will so wear what you feel confident in. I wore a longish black swishy jersy skirt with a loose(ie not very tailored) shirt and my lucky boots!

I too was overweight and it wasn't a problem until my GP mentioned it in my medical and recommended a second opinion on the grounds that she "didn't know" me. Medical advisor was excellent and rang the surgery to say that he wasn't interested in whether they knew me just whether I was medically fit to parent a child. I know this because when I went to anotehr doctor in teh practice (who also didn;t know me!) for my second opinion he told me the medical advisor had rung me. It delayed my approval by a couple of months but if your medical is clear I don;t see it would be a problem. In fatc it was because my GP doesn;t approve of single adopters and made that very clear to me, it was her way of trying to put a spanner in the works I think funnily enough I haven't been to see her since.

Richmond have notoriously difficult panels - SW hardly questionned at all, parents grilled (which isn;t how its supposed to be) and I survived so I'm sure you will too.

Good luck.

Oh, you encountered one of those panels too, Kewcumber....?!
Our SW was lovely though.

I have no advice but I wanted to wish you good luck!

Good luck with your Panel

My husband wore something similar to yours on the day, I wore a short-sleeved dress with a long sleeved top underneath, matching coloured tights and a pair of killer heels (to make me look taller, ie not as fat).

The Panel asked about how we found the process so far, and they also asked questions about how I was going to cope going from a responsible job to being a full-time mum. They also had questions about why we had expressed a preference for boys. They also asked us to talk about our support networks very briefly.

Just remember, everything they are likely to ask you has probably already been covered in your assessment to date. If you are worried about how to answer, have a think about how your answer was worded in your SW report - it's a good idea to read over this again before you go to Panel, just to remind yourself how you might approach some of the questions.

Lordy yes - I have faced worldwide board meetings with less fear than that panel induced.

One of the panel asked me whether I would feel getting an Asian child (Many ethnicities in Kazakhstan) would be second best? Was that the "stupid" question I wondered, a question which if you answered anything except "Err no" meant you were too stupid to be a parent - particularly given that the woman in question was Asian! Can just imagine me looking her in the eye and saying "yes an asian child would definitely be substandard"!!!

Good God!

My favourite was a question about whether we would be able to parent a child who didn't have any special needs, as our only experience of parenting was of parenting our dd1, who has SN. Which seemed an odd question. Particularly bearing in mind that I had spent 10 years working in an environment which involved working with a range of children..... But I guess they felt that they had to cover all bases.....

I was also asked whether I had any more up to date experience of children, as my sisters 3 children who live five minute walk from me and who I had been very involved with, were now teenagers... very tempting to answer "why has the design changed since then?"

Were you approved at a richmond panel?

Don't mean to alarm OP as in fact I gather that Richmond are far tougher than any other panel I've heard of.

Yes, we were Richmond It's amazing any one 'passes' there!!!

hey PP chekc out this and put your name down www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/950108?pagingOff=1#19380267

Fab!

i have worn jeans to all 3 of our panels, i looked as trendy as poss (like i always do). we were asked in one how we would discipline a child, the next was why we had a preference for a girl. the first was easy the next 2 more challenging.I wouldn't worry about the weight if it hasn't already been flagged. as my social worker says, you shouldn't get to panel if you aren't going to pass. good luck.

hifi can you also check out the link...

done kew