I think i would like to adopt

[fairywing]

I gave birth to my first child in December, a beautiful baby girl. Unfortunately there were complications during her birth and as a result any future pregnancies would run a significant risk of a ruptured uterus. I am simply not prepared to risk my life as i think this is totally unfair on the child i have already chosen to bring into this world, i have a reponsibility to make sure i am here for her. I always thought i would have at least one other child though. This has lead to conversations with DH about the possibility of fostering or adoption. I feel that we have room in our lives for more children and that it would be a wonderful thing to bring another child/children looking for a family into ours. The more i thnk about it, it almost feels like it would be wrong not to do this given that we have the space in our lives and our hearts. Obviously DD is far too young for us to do anything yet, nor would we want to just yet but i'd like to gather as much information as possible in the mean time.

I have been reading through some of the threads here which have given me an indication of what the process is like, the sort of children looking for families, the challenges that we could face etc. I'd really appreciate it if anyone is able to share there experiences of adoption here? I'm particularly interested to know why you decided to adopt and how you knew it was the right thing for you and your family as well as any other information about your experience you would be willing to share, particularly if you had an existing birth child at the time.

Many thanks.

Hi Fairywing

Just wondered if you'd been onto the Adoption UK website & especially on their message boards? They have a section especially for adopters with birth children. I am sure if you posted a message on there, someone would be willing to share their experiences. I don't have birth children but we have one fantastic DD (now 6) who we adopted at 18 months & we are just about to adopt another little girl who will be 18 months when she is placed with us. We're petrified & excited in equal measure!!

Anyway, here's a link to the Adoption UK message boards:

www.adoptionuk.com/s/forum/108012/forum/

I'm not 100% certain, but I think your DD would need to be 2 years old before you applied. Good luck with your journey. I think it's a great idea to start gathering information and reading about the subject.

Thank-you, i'll check out that link

Hi,

You sound like you are really thinking this through in a very positive way.

Adoption is a long and gruelling process. For most people it takes around 2 years to get approved the first time, and it's defiantely not something you would be ready to start on so soon after having your daughter (and the trauma you have suffered during and after the complications).

It's a really good idea to do loads of research though (as you are already) and go to meetings, use forums etc to find out as much as possible.

We are just being approved to adopt a 2nd child and all the agencies around here (except one) told me that our DD had to be 5 yrs old before we could even apply to be approved. So it might be a long time before you can start, but you would do well to ring your local agencies and just ask what their policy is so that you are prepared.

Good luck