So, they have finally made a decision about DD's sibling's future

[bran]

I think I've already mentioned that DD has a younger sibling. We knew birth mum was pregnant when we were being matched with DD, although we told SS that we didn't know whether we would be want to adopt another child until after DD had settled in.

We decided that, although it would be tough it, would be better for DD if we also took her sibling rather than have her adopted into another family. We were finding it very difficult to plan our future either way because SS were taking so long to make a decision.

The good news is that birth mum is doing really well and so DD's sibling has been placed back with her. It all seems very hopeful, BM is also have lots of contact with her older children who have been placed with family members.

The downside for DD is that she won't be able to have direct contact with any of her siblings now. I wonder if, in the future, she will feel let down that her birth mum managed to turn her life around to keep her younger sibling but not in time to keep her.

Part of me is a little relieved though, it would have been hard work to have another one only 16 months younger than DD. I think the pre-school years would have been very tiring. It would have been quite a tight fit in our 3-bed flat too. I was also a bit worried that it might have been tough on DS, he might have felt left out because his sisters were so close in age and biological siblings. Mostly I'm just glad that the decision has been made as we can now plan our lives with a little more certainty.

That is all and isn't it.

how's your lovely dd bran? i so enjoyed meeting her last year .

She is totally wonderful Hoxty. She has us all wrapped around her little finger, including DS. She throws some whopping tantrums too, I can't help but admire them (while pretending to ignore them of course). We should meet up again, before we head off to Ireland or you head off to your buccolic country dream.

I think all family life is quite and Sleighgirl, adoptive families are always that way from the outset because every happy ending starts with a less than ideal beginning.

we definitely should meet up (though we are not moving to devon any more....). my dd can give yours some tips about how to behave at the grand old age of 4 . perhaps the easter holidays??

how has hoxton met you and your DC's and I haven't? [pout]

Come to Kew.

You can't give up the Devon dream, I'm very fond of that dream. I'd go dolally in the country myself, but I like to think of you living the good life there. Anyway the Sunday Times says that this is a good year to sell up in London and move to the country.

DS has nearly 4 weeks off at Easter so I have booked him into holiday camp for the two weeks after Easter (he loved it in the summer). We're free anytime before that though.

I very much hope that your DD can teach my DD to be a tidy, responsible and co-operative 4 yr old, as she has got the whole stubborn drama-queen thing down to a tee already before she's even turned two.

We could do Kew, I would love to meet little Gerkin. Lord knows I'm casting around for ideas to amuse DS over the long, long holidays. Honestly, 3 weeks for Christmas, 2 weeks for every half term and nearly 4 weeks for Easter. He's hardly ever in school.

Is there any possibility that you could ask SS for some form of contact with your DD's sister? Or would this be too difficult as it would be your DD's biological mother?

do you have CAT? CAT me and we'll fix a date and invite any other adopters who can make it - if there's only a few and the weather is good I can use guest passes to get people into Kew gardens - nice childrens play area under cover if the weather is rubbish too.

There will be letter box contact with DD's birth mum and maternal birth grandparents, which will hopefully be shared with all DD's siblings. They don't do direct contact with siblings who are still living with the birth family for various reasons. One is that the adopted child might pass on information that would make it easy for the birth family to find where she lives (although I have no concerns about any of her birth family in that respect). The other is that the birth family might use the children's contact to pass on quite complex emotional feelings about the adoption, perhaps without meaning too. I'm sure there are other reasons too. Direct contact with the birth family is usually only done when the children were removed and/or placed for adoption at a much older age.

Things change though, I guess as DD gets older, perhaps in her early teens, she might want to meet her siblings and I would be happy for that to happen so long as it was a positive rather than stressful experience for her.

I've CATed you Kew.

we got a nice shiny new kitchen instead bran .

we are part of special east london clique kew. but i have met you too!

we currently have no plans for easter (half term is paris, yay).

dd is a law unto herself, you'll see...

Yes Hoxton but I am part of the adoption clique and therefore should have priority! Though I may let you join us as an honorary member if you can find your way out as far as Kew!

i think i dangled the lure of my big boy to entertain bran's ds & she couldn't resist! would love to be a pretend clique member .

Oh my goodness. Two cliques competing for my attention. I must have suddenly morphed into one of the cool kids, only 25 years too late for school.

I'll look up dates and email you Kew. I really must sort out DS's lunchbox and get some sleep. I hate the Sunday evening sinking feeling, knowing that I should have emptied out DS's lunchbox when he came home on Friday instead of procrastinating until it's guaranteed to have turned into sludge.